Child maintenance during lockdown

[Idratherbeasleep]

So I got a text from the cms today saying payments are going down to £6.87 a week of something down from £50, DC's dad is self employed I think, has been fiddling his earnings for years. I've been furloughed so am 20% down already, luckily we can still get by, it will be tight though. I get people aren't working to earn money but I feel a bit annoyed that it seems to be the resident parents who are left in the shit in a sense. And yes before you jump on me I get he has Bills to pay too and isn't earning anything, but. I am paying more having DC at home constantly in food, bills etc. Still need clothes and shoes. He's had years of working FT all the hours he can (literally) only declaring a small amount now has a mortgage while I've only been able to work minimum wage/flexible jobs because I cant afford childcare. Like I said luckily we will get by but aibu to think they need to come up with a plan for this? I mean I know people who do rely on maintenance to feed/clothe their kids and if the nrp is able to just call up cms and say I'm not working I cant pay with no questions surely lots of kids are really going to suffer?

@ichifanny ha no, 16 hours a month is enough apparently. Couldnt possibly do anymore, or schoolwork/homework etc. It annoyed me more there wasnt even the decency to send a text saying I'm a bit hard up can I lower the payment, just straight on the phone to cms saying he cant afford it

the cms aren't checking at the moment. And those of you who say "it's doable" without CM are missing the point. for lots of people it isn't and many rely on it to lift them out of poverty, to feed their children. Just because you aren't getting it, doesn't mean the OP should do the same.

The answer OP is for the govt to step in for this period until they can investigate. But they aren't and it means that people (children) are going without. The answer isn't for you to make it "doable"

And yes, the CMS is not fit for purpose at the best of times.

Of course it's doable, I can't afford to live without it but I don't get it so I have to and I have 4 kids not just one. You will find a way like the rest of us have no choice to.

@pumpkinP sorry where have I said it's not doable? You've already pointed out you dont get it, that's unfortunate but as I've said a few times not the point I was making,

I m not responding to you the cms aren't checking at the moment. And those of you who say "it's doable" without CM are missing the point. for lots of people it isn't and many rely on it to lift them out of poverty, to feed their children. Just because you aren't getting it, doesn't mean the OP should do the same.
They will have to adapt like the rest of us.

@pumpkimP apologies I missed that one 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes of course they will. There's no other option. When my ex decided to take a much lower paid job and reduced the maintenance accordingly (just because he couldn't be arsed with the extra responsibility) I had to cope. Unfortunately due to standing commitments I had taken on I have coped in the short term by running up debt so my kids didn't have to change schools, move or drop their hobbies. I'll sort it out longer term, it's fine but I shouldn't HAVE to do that, and many lone parents are in less fortunate positions than I am and will go without a decent dinner to keep their kids fed. We have a massive child poverty problem in this country and a good part of that is is the 3.9 (I think) billion unpaid maintenance. Its a fucking disgrace and I completely agree that until it becomes socially unacceptable it will keep happening. Look at BoJo.. People treat it at a joke that he had random kids scattered about that he may well not pay for.. A female politician with a trail of abandoned kids wouldn't get beyond her first interview with a Party.

lots of people can't adapt. No CM means they go without food, their kids go without clothing. CM lifts people out of poverty. It's not the answer to say " you have to adapt". you are putting all the responsibility on the resident parent and that's simply not right.

And it's also not right to say to the OP that she has to adapt because you don't get CM. How is that right? what happened to empathy? what happened to questioning the injustice that means that her ex can simply reduce his payment and their children go without?

and yes, my outgoings have increased massively since lockdown. I'm feeding 6 children 3 meals a day. My ex isn't having them at all. so it's bollocks to say we're all saving money.

I have to. I'm sure others can aswell. C m isn't meant to pay for everything . If it's paying for all the kids food and clothes then what on earth are they spending their money on?? Some only get £7 a week. Adapt.

You’ve got every right to feel annoyed. As he can just choose to not pay - when I’m sure he has savings to help him out. You have no choice but to struggle. Not fair and neither is fiddling your income to pay less childcare

There’s so much more that could be done. The CMS was certainly not designed with the best interest of the receiving parent in mind. I wonder how much more strict enforcement would be if it were predominantly women paying?

Here’s an interesting fact (sorry to hijack your thread op)- the CMS issued around 850 deductions of earning requests to the MoD in the 2018/19 tax year- 75 of them were completed incorrectly by the CMS. How is that acceptable?!

@Grumpos - doesn’t your partner have any savings that he could draw on to continue to pay the same amount? I guess most men are not planning to use their savings and would rather cut payments.

Pumpkin I'd be interested to see where it says that CM isn't meant to be used for food and clothing of the payers children. Where does it say that please? And that's a genuine question btw not facetious. I have never heard that before and I work in the field.

I said it's not meant to cover the cost of every thing , so if the rp isn't getting child maintenance they should still be a able to feed their kids.

Many parents have to cut down on food if they don't get CM. That often means that they go without in order to prioritise their children. they don't buy them clothing or treats, or birthday presents. In many cases the children go without too - and they go without food. CM is critical to some parents.

And fwiw I agree that it's a gender issue. If most LPs were men, the CMS wouldn't allow this.

But when you're living on the bread line anyway (like many RPs are) then the maintenance, or lack of, can make a massive difference! Just because you don't need it doesn't mean others don't!

For the record I don't get anything from my ex. I've learned to budget without it although it's been hard at times. I still have empathy for others who suddenly find their maintenance cut for any reason.

I don’t need it? I clearly stated many times that I do need it but am not entitled to it so have to adapt. So those people will just have to find a way.

These threads always become a tiresome race to the bottom.

We get the puerile “I don’t get any so you’ll have to adapt”, which all plays into the culture that it’s acceptable for fathers to walk away.

The scandal surrounding child maintenance is one of the most gendered issues in society. We should be making it impossible for every father to decide they don’t want to pay for their kids. CMS should be using every power available to them to chase the unpaid balance; it doesn’t take a genius to work out why they don’t.

Personally I think non payment of cm should be an imprisonable offence

Child Maintenance is worked out as a percentage no one parent should be paying for everything.

I believe its something like 18%. Can I, as an RP, please only spend 18% of my salary on the kids please? I bought them each a magazine today. Came to £8 that's quite a lot really isn't it, for nothing much, but in these, days of endless just us, it's something that will keep them interested for a bit. When they aren't with me, my spending reduces dramatically. My ex does not buy them magazines, or take them swimming, (in normal times), or do much at all with them. He pays cms but not a penny over and never anything extra in say, August when it's back to school. He's never so much as bought them a new pencil case. We've had a few arguments about this but the cms is deliberately vague.. Its meant to be a 'contribution to essential expenses'. But not 50% and doesn't define essential either. My ex doesn't get the daily 'can I have' nor the 'x is learning judo / piano / dance why can't I.' If any political party made this a front piece of their manifesto they'd get my vote.

It's just a sad state of affairs that so many women just have to accept that they wont get anything because no ones really enforcing it. Also as mentioned the vagueness of what cm is for doesnt help either. I've been told before when asking for contributions to school clothes etc "that's what maintenance is for" as a PP said imagine if we all decided next week we only want to spend £10 on feeding, housing clothing our kids?! Most people learn to get by but it's so wrong that you have to.

I said it's not meant to cover the cost of every thing , so if the rp isn't getting child maintenance they should still be a able to feed their kids

I have been single for 10 years and have received no maintenance during that time. I currently have 3 jobs. I can feed my children - and everything else. That’s not the problem. What is problematic is affording house maintenance, replacing furniture (even secondhand) and paying into a pension. Long term, my old age is looking fucking awful. If my ex made even a small contribution, it would free up some of my budget to think longer term. This is, in my opinion, where the real criminality of it all is. That no one gives a hoot about my future while he has so much money he can buy property abroad and generally live it up. My only light at the end of the tunnel is my children are now getting older and can see it very clearly and let’s just say I don’t fancy his chances when it comes to care home choice!

CM has never been worked out as a fair percentage. My ex never has the DC overnight and he still only gets to pay 10% of his wage, in what way is that fair? I do 99% of the parenting plus pay 90% towards them, it’s never been a fair or just system.

Anyway, I still haven’t been paid. I have asked a couple of friends who were also furloughed whether they have been paid and both were paid either yesterday or day before so it’s looking like my ex is lying, what a surprise.