My bikini for after lockdown??

[Doggybiccys]

I'm mid 50s, 2 stone overweight and about 5'4".

AIBU in thinking I can carry this off when we eventually get out of lockdown? I am thinking sunbathing in local parks, round the outdoor pool at the sports club and of course, family holiday overseas if we are able to travel.

To be honest, its not what I would normally buy but since it keeps popping up in the ads bar on MN, I thought, why the heck not!

Anyone with me? www.isawitfirst.com/products/bikini-set-with-diamond-shape-top-and-cut-out-bottoms-black-jla012398

What about this one op?

www.isawitfirst.com/products/long-sleeve-bardot-ribbed-swimsuit-black-jla012464#ShopSimilar

Would be great if ones fanny was warm but arms were cold?

That is obscene!!!

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace - lucky you!! To be honest, I had a cracking figure until my mid 40s but even then would have struggled to show so much flesh. I'm now the type who doesn't look too bad with her clothes on but need a bit of a confidence boost to strip off in any way!

It reminds me of those old fashioned sanitary towels that needed a belt to keep them in place 🙈

How do other people have fanjos that fit into these tiny little bits of dental floss? Mine would hang out like a squashed kebab.

Not for the large of labia

@showmethegin - well you can get it in 6 weekly interest-free payments from £2.08 so there's really no excuse.

You're more likely to get me in a pair of these with a t-shirt on top!

www.asos.com/men/swimwear/cat/?cid=13210

@showmethegin who in the scuttering fuck walked into a design meeting and said "let's make our thong swimwear classy - 60s style off shoulder sleeves and a nice hat. Takes attention from the fanny flap that's got loose"

lucky you!!

I'm not lucky. I'm a bodybuilder and my diet is so anally controlled that it hurts (occasionally). I work really hard: no chocolate, no cake, no biscuits, no crisps, no takeaways, no alcohol. Every. Single. Day.

You're not gonna begrudge me an itsy witsy teeny weeny (yellow) polka dot bikini are you?

@Soconfusedandlost That just made me spit out my tea! Quite!!

@conduitoffortune I had the same thought 😂

What new hell is this?

No... why... ouch... oh my eyes...

I am bemused as to why they started on my MN ads bar as I've never even so much as searched for a swimsuit on my laptop

You probably clicked on a link in good faith that some twonk posted!

🙄🤣

Excellent, it'll be lovely to return to my pool swimming with new swimwear.

I am almost mid 50's, also 2 stone overweight and the same height as you.
Oh my we are similar.
Nope it wouldn't cover my nipples....
You may get arrested though I suspect this make me a humorous post?

Up to you in the end (I put comfort first though ..lol)

That's not a bikini - it's genital floss.

If you have even the slightest bit of wobble then you'd end up with that delightful bulging look, pork roast style.

Tan lines like the London Tube map.

I love this thread... thanks for the laughs posters - I needed that light relief...

I think you'd look lovely, but it might not be very comfortable for swimming in.

my diet is so anally controlled that it hurts

No wonder it hurts, that's the wrong end.

@donquixotedelamancha I am proper rofling at that

Found one for the man in your life

Just don’t go down any water slides 😖

No wonder it hurts, that's the wrong end.

Bugger. So that's what I've been doing wrong all this time. And my trainer never mentioned it — it took Mumsnet to sort me out. YAAAAY

Looks like she's lost a fight with the bargain bin in ann summers