AIBU about a status??

[Johnskymberlina]

Hi all

Ok, maybe I'm overthinking it but hubby changed his WhatsApp photo to a picture of us as a couple - no kids as he didn't want a contact to see them. Fine, not bothered but I noticed the status 'remember the times of freedom' I haven't said anything to him but feel a bit hurt deep down?? I don't see my children as me not having freedom?? Am I overthinking this??

His attitude already says he doesn’t really give much of a shit.

Sure, if you want to try to play games, do so. Otherwise just keep it real and say something like this: we’re going to have this discussion once; I’m going to tell you what I need from you, and if you don’t start to show in actions that you give a shit, right now and consistently from now on, I’m done.

And mean it.

Then give him a period of time in your head by which time he needs to be up to speed and doing things for you and with his children and in the house without you managing him and making him do it and if it doesn’t happen, then you take the rings off. For good.

But that’s just how I roll. If you want to do it differently then that’s okay too.

I think I'll sit down with him and say right this is the last time we speak about it (obviously spoken about it before) and warn him. The thing is that although he works and I'm at home with the kids I would be able to support myself as I have properties I rent and that brings in a good income (no I wouldn't let him move in one 😂😂😂) he has nothing over my head if we were to split up. Our house now is joint mortgage so I would buy him out. That's going wayyy ahead but he knows I wouldn't 'need' anything from him if that makes sense??

He's got to show consistent change too, I'm going to say that. Just like all parents we need to be consistent

I do feel at times i have to micro manage him

Sorry op, I think you are overthinking. I know quite a few people who have kids and mention how much more freedom they had before them. They tend to mean it in a jokingly way. I’m pregnant with my first and I’ve had quite a few “say goodbye to your freedom” comments. It doesn’t mean they regret their children or love them any less.

No, I wouldn't do the wedding ring shenanigans. It lacks gravitas and is just a bit... naff. If you threatening to leave him isn't enough, the wedding rings aren't going to change that.

So we spoke, he's promised to keep it at bay etc etc I said I wanted to SEE a change. I don't want to micro manage him, I will help him of course and if he shouts me because he needs something then of course I will, we are a team. I just said it's a time and place thing but if it's interrupting our couple time and family it's not on. I also reminded him that I wouldn't need anything from him and that pissed him off but he said he knows. Kids aside of course I would never be petty with access or play games with that.

I said again I overreacted about the status but I think that we he gaming thing was simmering under the surface

Hope he's actually listened and is taking you seriously.