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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about a status??

106 replies

Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:01

Hi all

Ok, maybe I'm overthinking it but hubby changed his WhatsApp photo to a picture of us as a couple - no kids as he didn't want a contact to see them. Fine, not bothered but I noticed the status 'remember the times of freedom' I haven't said anything to him but feel a bit hurt deep down?? I don't see my children as me not having freedom?? Am I overthinking this??

OP posts:
Original poster
Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:26

Yes he just said 'as we were in holiday you know'

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/04/2020 11:31

I think it's quite romantic actually.

He's allowed to be nostalgic without it apparently meaning he's having a dig at his kids.

RedskyAtnight · 28/04/2020 11:31

I think most parents, particularly of young children, look back and wistfully remember how much easier it was before they had them. Doesn't mean that they would change anything. Sounds like you want your DH to say that your life is totally perfect right now ... whereas he's being more realistic.

Dyrne · 28/04/2020 11:32

So he’s fondly reminiscing about a holiday you two went on pre-children and pre-COVID and you’re still pissed off with him?

Poor bloke... clearly he should have said something like “remembering this shit holiday where I was forced to spend one-on-one time with the other half, thank fuck we have children now to give us a bit of a buffer”.

Original poster
Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:33

Our life isn't perfect but I just don't like the freedom bit that's all

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 28/04/2020 11:35

But it's true? I love my DS but I certainly don't have the freedom that I used to and I miss it. Children do curtail your freedom; that's the nature of them and one of the sacrifices that you make when you have children. It's not a bad thing. It's just life.

theemmadilemma · 28/04/2020 11:37

You seem determined to read something in it, so what's going on?

Neverender · 28/04/2020 11:37

If it was a photo of him on his own, or out with his mates then maybe, but it's got you in it...

lockdownbirthdayhelp · 28/04/2020 11:38

Umm he's probably talking about lockdown ....

ErickBroch · 28/04/2020 11:38

Lol YABU. I have a normal photo of me as I don't want my colleagues to see pics of my DP or family when talking about work. His status is also clearly about lockdown.

Oysterbabe · 28/04/2020 11:39

You're being a bit silly. I adore my kids but I almost skip down the road when I can get away from them for a bit.
I went to the allotment the other day and sent my friend a picture of braveheart.

lockdownbirthdayhelp · 28/04/2020 11:40

Just saw your updates. I really don't see the problem tbh. DH and I sometimes reminisce about child free holidays etc and the freedom we had.

PawPawNoodle · 28/04/2020 11:40

Have you been on a nice big family holiday abroad with your children for him to reminisce about?

DontStandSoCloseToMe · 28/04/2020 11:40

I love my son more than anything and anyone but it's a lie to say he doesn't limit my freedom. DH and I live near an airport and would weeks frequently just nip off somewhere for a weekend of culture and dining, or to go to a gig in a random European city, with nothing but hand luggage, we don't do that anymore, it's a fact not an insult.

SeriouslyRetro · 28/04/2020 11:40

Are you alright op?

saraclara · 28/04/2020 11:42

Everyone's telling you you're over-thinking, because you are. Why are you determined not to accept that, OP?

Original poster
Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:42

Well actually on reflection there he something underlying, thinking about it I have said he would be happier on his own. He likes to go on his phone gaming, can sit there for 8+ hours constantly with headphones in etc. I said he would be in his element with take aways, 6 different screens and games constantly. We've tried with the gaming thing to cut it down but if he doesn't game he falls asleep or watches tv or watches something on his phone. He has to be surrounded by media I think. I've told him all this and he just says he's not and then I leave it tbf as I'm too busy with the kids and cba to argue

OP posts:
ErickBroch · 28/04/2020 11:42

Your posts are really concerning. How have you even jumped to these conclusions? Your poor DP.

Original poster
Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:43

Yes we go on holiday to uk places and we are lucky enough to go to some really exotic places whilst we've had kids

OP posts:
PotterHarryWitch · 28/04/2020 11:43

Yes you are over thinking it.

MysteryFrog · 28/04/2020 11:43

Are you SURE he means ‘because we were on holiday and didn’t have kids’ rather than ‘because we were on holiday and not stuck in the house on lockdown’?? Because I’d assume he means the latter

Original poster
Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:44

Please don't get the pitchforks out at me, I've openly asked if I'm over reacting and I'm quite accepting to that but saying 'poor DP' isn't helpful

OP posts:
Dyrne · 28/04/2020 11:44

Ah there you go. If you feel he isn’t engaging with the children normally then it explains why you’ve overreacted here - it’s not really about the status.

You need to tackle the underlying issue and make sure he’s doing his fair share with the children.

Ninkanink · 28/04/2020 11:45

He’s talking about lockdown. Quite obviously.

Original poster
Johnskymberlina · 28/04/2020 11:46

Sorry I honestly in hindsight should have mentioned that but didn't think it was relevant until another poster said

OP posts:
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