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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think this will be fine, maybe even fun?!

98 replies

LooseyGoosey · 27/04/2020 13:39

We're expecting our first baby at the end of September and my best friend is getting married at the end of November. I'm due to be a bridesmaid and whilst they're having a no kids wedding, babes in arms are a-ok. The wedding is just outside Edinburgh and we live in London. We'll do the drive over a couple of days and stop off with family en route north, then we'll be staying at the venue once we're there. We might get a cottage near by to slightly extend the trip. I'll still be breastfeeding but my partner will be there as well and will probably do the majority of care between feeds, I might try and express a bit too.

Am I being totally naive to think it will be ok? Is there anything I need to figure out waaaaaay in advance that might not have occurred to me?

OP posts:
SpudsAreLife84 · 27/04/2020 13:42

Babies that young are incredibly portable and basically just fit in with what you are doing. Routines and all that restrictive crap comes much later. I'd have done this with all 4 of mine Smile

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/04/2020 13:44

I wouldn’t have wanted to do such a trip but everyone and every baby is so different

cocklepicker · 27/04/2020 13:44

Yep it'll likely be both fine and fun! Mine have always gone all over the place, life doesn't have to stop because of babies

Thehop · 27/04/2020 13:45

Boo, you’re right, a newborn will be ace. Wouldn’t dream of it with a toddler haha x

Plan stops for car seat breaks or a low flat car seat and you’re golden.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 27/04/2020 13:46

It sounds fine. It might end up cancelled anyway over social distancing things. If you book any hotel etc make sure it’s refundable

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 27/04/2020 13:46

I would fly and rent a car, it's a long journey without a teeny baby.

Flying with a young baby is easier than driving 350 miles.

minettechatouette · 27/04/2020 13:47

Attending the ceremony should be no issue, but I would not bank on attending any evening parts. At this age, I would have had to leave at 5pm to breastfeed as mine cluster-fed for several hours every night until she was about 6 months old. I went to several weddings over my DD's first summer but had to leave before the evening for all of them.

Abbccc · 27/04/2020 13:49

It sounds fine, but I'd get a lie flat car seat, or one that is as flat as possible as it'll be a long time for ababy to spend in a car seat.

GreyishDays · 27/04/2020 13:49

We drove 200 miles when ours was three months old and she pretty much screamed the whole way. Wouldn’t sleep in the car so we had to stop, get her out, walk her in the buggy for forty minutes and then repeat after driving an hour.
Yours might be easier though.

minettechatouette · 27/04/2020 13:50

Also, I personally I would get the train up. We did lots of train trips with my DD and she enjoyed them as she was being held and you can to some extent walk around. She hated even short car journeys and I would not have attempted such a long journey at that age (though we don't have a car so it might be better for babies who get used to it). Flying might be ok practicality-wise, though it's terrible for the environment!

Alb1 · 27/04/2020 13:52

We did something very similar when DS was 6 weeks old, it was fine, the driving was long as you are suppose to get them out of the car seat atleast every hour but it was ok, and we didn’t stay for the evening do but babys that age are very portable to I think you’ll be fine.

Thingsthatgo · 27/04/2020 13:52

There are some guidelines about how often you should stop and for how long with babies. It used to be 30mins every 2 hours, but my babies are 5 now, so it might’ve changed. You’ll need to factor in quite a lot of stops. (Also, some that are less predictable, like when babies does a massive poo!). But otherwise it’ll be fine.

Ohtherewearethen · 27/04/2020 13:53

Just bear in mind that of you have to have an emergency c-section there's a chance you may still be slightly sore at that point (I'm thinking worst-case scenario of course) but sitting in a car for hours might be quite uncomfortable.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 27/04/2020 13:54

Mine all hated the car & would scream their lungs out after 10 mins - I didn’t do journeys longer than 20 mins unless it was absolutely necessary (& then it was only an hour & I had to stop half way) until they were over 1.

Even if you have a baby that likes the car you need to consider how long they should be in a car seat for.

The actual wedding will be fine so long as you remember a BF friendly dress & a nice ring sling

PenisBeakerDipper · 27/04/2020 13:55

It sounds like it’ll be fine. I have a 9 week old now and I’ve found breastfeeding much easier than formula. No equipment to bring, no sterilising, no worries about heating or cooling.

As others have said just check car seat and travel guidelines.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 27/04/2020 13:55

With a 2 month old? Absolutely fine. Unless there are unforeseen health issues with either of you there’s no reason this wouldn’t be a lovely holiday.

TheSheepofWallSt · 27/04/2020 14:02

Id do it.
Make sure you rent a house that will work for you with a baby (not tonnes of stairs to the front door etc) and you’ll be golden. At 8 weeks they don’t need much at all- you don’t have to schlep toys or potties or whatever... much easier than it is at say 18 months (or... 3 and a half eyeballs DS wearily and remembers wet weekends in Whitby

foodandwine89 · 27/04/2020 14:05

Flying or the train may be easier because with a car you would have to stop very often. Although it’ll be easier to take whatever you need in a car without worrying about suitcases etc

It’s much easier to make that trip when they’re small than when they’re more mobile and stuck to their routine. Have fun!

RandomSelection · 27/04/2020 14:06

It'll be fun! I moved countries with an eight week old and that was easy, going to a wedding will be a doddle!! You'll have loads of willing hands to help. Go for it!

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 27/04/2020 14:07

Personally I would definitely not like to be a bridesmaid in these circumstances

Candyfloss99 · 27/04/2020 14:08

If you're baby screams the whole way through the ceremony etc other guests mightn't think it's fun.

minettechatouette · 27/04/2020 14:10

@candyfloss we had a baby cry as we were saying our vows (she was whisked out) and I actually found it quite beautiful. I'm sure the OP's DH will be able to nab and aisle seat and take the baby away if it fusses.

ASundayWellSpent · 27/04/2020 14:11

We went to a wedding abroad with DD2 aged 6 weeks and DD1 aged 2; guess which was the easier? Haha. I had three different 10pound material wraps from Amazon and wore her the whole time. we could easily have forgotten she was there! Feed, wrap, feed, change, wrap, was fab!

FriedasCarLoad · 27/04/2020 14:12

It would have been fine with mine. I'd recommend thinking about:

-allowing for a LOT of stops on the journey

-allowing plenty of room in your bridesmaid's dress for being a larger size overall, and especially for bigger boobs, which might be quite a different shape, especially in a nursing bra

-seeing if you can wear a dress with easy access for feeding

-trying to express and get the baby to take a bottle before then, so it's father can feed it during the service/ceremony (if necessary)

Imboredinthehouse · 27/04/2020 14:13

My only concern would be the amount of time in a car seat.

www.leedsth.nhs.uk/a-z-of-services/leeds-maternity-care/news/2017/08/18/useful-advice-on-baby-seats

babysafeltd.com/safety/2-hour-rule/