To feel rage with my partner and father of 2 DS 5 & 7. we all live together. Neither of us is working at the moment.
I wake up and my mind flicks the list of jobs I need to do. It is all usual stuff. 1st world problems. Get up, feed kids, feed dogs, tidy up kitchen - it is never done the night before, hang out washing, vacuum floors, on week days do home school ( I was a teacher so this comes easily to me) cook lunch, clear lunch, walk dogs and kids, mostly make kids tea, bath them read to them and put them to bed. Repeat.
You might be asking where is DP in all of this? He has mental health issues. He is depressed. His day starts when I bring him tea. He wakes up and uses his phone to check Twitter to try to “engage with the world” his words. After an hour he might come downstairs and then goes with a camera into the garden to take photos of spring emerging, this gives him huge pleasure. He will come back in tweet his pictures. Maybe start the doing some gardening. After lunch he usually chooses to go back into the garden and will be there until 6pm. He then goes back on his phone again to keep in touch with the world. Once the kids are asleep either he or I will cook our dinner. I never have the energy to tidy up. He never ever does.
My rage is that he seems only to do the things that give him pleasure, that ease his depression and things are never with the kids or helpful to living in a home with 4 people. I have to do everything else.
lately it seems to me every suggestion he makes I have to do because if I don’t he says I am not supporting him or helping his depression. This morning he showered and shaved. Then announced he wanted to have his hair cut. I was mid cleaning of the kitchen so I stopped and cut his hair. Then had to clean it all up while he went on twitter. I blew my top. Then he close to tears told me how unsupportive I was being. I know he is ill but I feel so alone and now really angry. Am I being unreasonable and need a slap? Or a hug and a big drink?