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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH refusing to do anything!!!

101 replies

BehaveYoursen · 26/04/2020 14:46

I’m so fucked off. DH and I are both key workers so both still working.

We’ve been off work all weekend. Yesterday he got up at 11am and basically played computer games all day. We did go to sit out in the garden at one point but it was fucking pointless as he sat there playing on his phone. God forbid we actually have a conversation. He was meant to be going to shop all day yesterday as was running low on milk and needed something for tea. He put it off and put it off until in the end decided it was too late so we had chicken fucking nuggets for tea. Literally just a plate of chicken nuggets. I’d walked the dog yesterday (as well as doing everything else around the house) so felt I shouldn’t go out again.

Today he gets up at 10:30. He said he was going to shop to get the bits we need. He still hasn’t fucking been. I’m in agony with chest/rib/back pain and have again walked the dog. Washed all the bedding, hoovered up. He’s played computer games. He’s just suggested we have a cup of tea. I’ve suggested he actually go to shop so we can get some milk and something for fucking tea.

His excuse now is that he can’t go to shop as the neighbours are sat out front. I told him not to be ridiculous so he’s suggested I go to shop instead. I’ve done every fucking thing and I’m in pain. So fucked off. Time’s like this I wish I was single.

OP posts:
WoeIsMee · 26/04/2020 14:48

I think I’d rather be single too!

YANBU. Hope you’re feeling better soon Flowers

mbosnz · 26/04/2020 14:50

I'd rather be single than saddled with someone more useless than a sack of spuds too. At least the spuds can be turned into something decent to eat. . .

CheddarGorgeous · 26/04/2020 14:51

What's stopping you from being single? Seriously, what a waste of space!

BruceAndNosh · 26/04/2020 14:53

Don't understand why the neighbours have any bearing on his laziness

BehaveYoursen · 26/04/2020 14:55

The neighbours being outside is just a ridiculous excuse. He says he “can’t be arsed” with them. Absolute stupidity

OP posts:
RibenaMonsoon · 26/04/2020 14:55

List out everything you've done over the last 2 days.
Ask him why he thinks it's acceptable that you very all that done while you've got health issues and that he's sst on his arse.
Lazy sod. I'd want to be single too!

Horehound · 26/04/2020 14:55

God how unattractive. I'd be single

RUOKHon · 26/04/2020 14:55

What a useless cunt. Start planning for that single life OP.

20viona · 26/04/2020 14:56

He sounds like a complete bell. LTB.

AllyBamma · 26/04/2020 15:03

Either tell him he’s being a prat and you’re unhappy or stop being a martyr and carry on as you are. Nothing is going to change if you don’t communicate with him.

FallonSwift · 26/04/2020 15:05

So why don't you tell him to stop being a lazy arsehole and start pulling his weight?

Yellowsubmarinedreams · 26/04/2020 15:05

What a cock.

Haggisfish · 26/04/2020 15:06

Don’t have dc with him whatever you do!

CandleNoBra · 26/04/2020 15:10

Ugh. How can you be attracted to him?
Single would be much better.

Windyatthebeach · 26/04/2020 15:12

Google a recipe from all the ingredients you have at home and make YOURSELF a nice tea...

Binxy34 · 26/04/2020 15:12

I have a constant back and forth with mine about the bloody cleaning. He’s a key worker, I’m not, and he’s doing long hours but only 3/4 days a week. On his days off he says it’s his time to just do nothing because he gets so overwhelmed at work atm. I get it, I do. I work from home (even before lockdown) so I have a bit more freedom and generally have more time than him to tidy up. However, at least put a wash on or do the dishes without me having to nag you Angry To be super honest, the times he does really try to help out, it’s not really up to my standards - he’ll end up using the wrong cleaning products or something else that just creates more work! He does a lot of the cooking though so he’s not completely hopeless.

Maybe write up a checklist of stuff that needs doing that day or week and both agree the night before who is doing what. Say how much it’s getting to you and you’re not having it anymore - it worked for me, although there may be initial bickering. If he doesn’t want to get the shopping, would he prefer to walk the dog? Or do something around the house?

Teacher12345 · 26/04/2020 15:12

You need to have a conversation about this. Or just point out that it is showing how little he brings to the relationship and you are thinking about his place in your life. If you don't have kids together, I'd be looking for a way out.

CatelynStark · 26/04/2020 15:14

My feeling is that if you can’t rely on your partner when the chips are down, then you’re much better off on your own. And the chips have never been more down, have they...

emilybrontescorsett · 26/04/2020 15:15

Is there something wrong with him seriously? Or is he just lazy?

BehaveYoursen · 26/04/2020 15:18

To be honest, this situation is highlighting what I already suspected. There is no happy future in this. I’ve been fantasising about being single for a while now and that’s not normal is it. God I’m so fed up.

Anyone good at guessing health issues? My chest and ribs are absolutely killing me. I get a sharp pain when I swallow anything. Everything hurts. I feel hot and sweaty one minute and freezing cold the next. Started coming on yesterday.

OP posts:
HarrietTheShy · 26/04/2020 15:19

Don't have kids with him.

RandomMess · 26/04/2020 15:19

Sounds like Covid-19 tbh...

ShirleyPhallus · 26/04/2020 15:21

Erm that sounds like Coronavirus OP...

RandomMess · 26/04/2020 15:21

Please don't go anywhere for the time being!!

He is going to have to go out and get the food shop etc plus what you may need for the next few days as you shouldn't be going anywhere whilst unwell regardless of what it turns out to be.

catinasplat · 26/04/2020 15:21

Honestly OP, get rid. It won't get any better Flowers

Could you have the virus? Have you taken your temperature?

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