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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Barbecue once a week

108 replies

Covert19 · 26/04/2020 12:55

During the nice weather we’ve had a barbecue once a week for either lunch or dinner on Saturday or Sunday. The husband has just fired up the barbecue and next door neighbour has popped her head over the fence to ask us not to do it any more as the smoke blows across their patio. So is it unreasonable of me to want one meal a week in this way? Or is it unreasonable of her to expect to enjoy her garden sunbathing every moment of every day? It really is just one meal a week, so smoke being produced for maybe two hours.

OP posts:
Ylvamoon · 26/04/2020 12:58

Just tell her that you are sorry but really enjoy your BBQ and want to make the most of the lovely weather.

Oysterbabe · 26/04/2020 12:58

Yanbu. BBQs are a normal part of sunny days. She needs to move away from people if she doesn't like it.

Hedgehog26 · 26/04/2020 13:00

She’d hate my neighbours. I think the bbq-Ed 4 times last week. Didn’t bother me in the slightest

CuriousaboutSamphire · 26/04/2020 13:00

I hope they are utterly silent, don't smoke, have kids etc.

Enjoy your BBQ.

Ughmaybenot · 26/04/2020 13:01

YANBU. There is a certain level of ‘other people crap’ you have to put up with when you live near... well... other people, and BBQs are one of them imo.
If you were blasting music in your garden, fair enough. If it was every single night, fair enough. But in this case, no, she is being unreasonable.

Justajot · 26/04/2020 13:02

It appears that mumsnet feels very strongly about this issue Grin

Barbecue once a week
OoohTheStatsDontLie · 26/04/2020 13:03

She is being unreasonable. If you want to maintain good relations you could always suggest a compromise eg moving it to a different part of the garden so the smoke doesn't blow into her house and she can keep her windows open etc and giving her advance warning in case she has washing out or something

Macncheeseballs · 26/04/2020 13:05

Can't you just eat outdoors

RoosterPie · 26/04/2020 13:05

YANBU. There is a certain level of ‘other people crap’ you have to put up with when you live near... well... other people, and BBQs are one of them imo. If you were blasting music in your garden, fair enough. If it was every single night, fair enough. But in this case, no, she is being unreasonable

Completely agree. A weekly bbq is not an unreasonable use of your garden.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2020 13:06

She is BU

But is there a better spot in your garden that you can place the BBQ in?

Thewomeninthemirror · 26/04/2020 13:07

Offer her a burnt sausage Grin

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2020 13:08

She'd never cope where I live, as many of my Eastern European neighbours seem to bbq lunch and dinner every day, even in the Winter.

I still prefer the smell of that to car fumes.

Megan2018 · 26/04/2020 13:12

We have daily BBQ in good weather, although our main one is gas so not the same issues with smoke. YANBU.

I now can’t stop saying BBQ in the style of Gary from King Gary! Grin

ClientQ · 26/04/2020 13:15

YANBU. Except the smell makes me hungry Grin

skybluee · 26/04/2020 13:16

it's once a week. She's being silly. Would be different if it was being done every day!

francienolan · 26/04/2020 13:16

Yanbu especially if it's for dinner and the smoke is in the evening anyway.

WhiteVixen · 26/04/2020 13:17

Tell her you’ll turn the barbecue round so the smoke goes the other way 👍🏼

UnderTheIroningBoard · 26/04/2020 13:18

She's being. unreasonable.
But in order to keep the peace, suggest to her that you will give her a warning in case she has washing out, and if possible, maybe consider moving the barbecue so she doesn't have as much smoke.
I don't get the barbecue hate, would much rather smell that than someone smoking cannabis!

CHIRIBAYA · 26/04/2020 13:22

My neighbours BBQ several times a week and it doesn't bother me. Once a week is not so often and we are confined indoors for so much of the year with our weather that I don't blame people. I think falling out with neighbours in this current climate would not be something I would welcome.

LtJudyHopps · 26/04/2020 13:23

Personally I think it’s a bit early for a BBQ but she’s being a bit uptight. Nothing wrong with a good BBQ! Food just taste better from it.

MissCalamity · 26/04/2020 13:25

Enjoy your BBQ, the nice weather ends today apparently !

IvinghoeBeacon · 26/04/2020 13:26

Well this is a completely different thread from the one last weekend about how appalling people are for having BBQs when there is a virus going round that causes respiratory problems, and when people with respiratory problems are stuck at home. I have no strong feelings either way, but on the previous thread you would have been called all manner of unpleasant names!

hipposarerad · 26/04/2020 13:27

I'm surprised at the responses, I was expecting lots of "YABVVVU, don't you know there's a pandemic of a virus that causes breathing difficulties? What if your neighbour has asthma?" and "barbecues are smelly and almost as antisocial as smoking weed and playing music" blah, etc.

Enjoy your Al fresco meals with your family. It's your garden and if you're not firing up an industrial sized bong, having a hog roast and playing drum n bass at top volume then say that you're sorry but it's only once a week, and you can't be in absolute isolation when your home butts up against someone else's.

Worriedmum54321 · 26/04/2020 13:31

You don't say what type of BBQ it is

Could you get a gas bbq to reduce the smell?

YWBU to use a disposable bbq every week - the smoke is pretty disgusting

Bounceyflouncey · 26/04/2020 13:32

It's not unreasonable to have one in your garden, no. But it is horrible when you're trapped at home and want to sit in the sun and have to smell BBQ smoke. But still, you are entitled to do it and should go ahead.