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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Barbecue once a week

108 replies

Covert19 · 26/04/2020 12:55

During the nice weather we’ve had a barbecue once a week for either lunch or dinner on Saturday or Sunday. The husband has just fired up the barbecue and next door neighbour has popped her head over the fence to ask us not to do it any more as the smoke blows across their patio. So is it unreasonable of me to want one meal a week in this way? Or is it unreasonable of her to expect to enjoy her garden sunbathing every moment of every day? It really is just one meal a week, so smoke being produced for maybe two hours.

OP posts:
Waitingforadulthood · 26/04/2020 13:33

I love a bbq but felt that during pandemic following the guidelines re no fires or smoke etc is important. And bbqs are smoky.

However- I'm the only one in my street who took the guidelines to include bbq- as everyone is having bbqs. So my little bbq will hardly make a difference, henceforth I'll be joining the rest of the country this week and bbq ing regularly .

DameXanaduBramble · 26/04/2020 13:36

They’re not smoky for long, after the initial burn they just cook food, which is a lovely smell. Carry on, if she wants no smells, noise etc, she should move.

DameXanaduBramble · 26/04/2020 13:37

@waitingforadulthood. They meant bonfires.

MarieQueenofScots · 26/04/2020 13:39

It isn’t unreasonable to want one, they’re not unreasonable to dislike them and it’s a bit miserable for them not being able to escape.

Is it possible for you to re-site the barbecue so the impact is minimised.

Cremebrule · 26/04/2020 13:43

She is being ridiculous. A bbq once a week is nothing to moan about at all. I also find it odd the person saying it’s a bit early’. Since when were there rules about when a bbq is ok? Breakfast would be unusual but lunch, really? Basically there is a constant smell of bbq in our street. It is a nice thing to do in the summer.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/04/2020 13:44

Bloody cheek of the woman saying that to you!

Ethelfleda · 26/04/2020 13:45

Me neighbours are always using the BBQ. The emotional response I have is one of jealousy.

WhatsTheFrequencyKennneth · 26/04/2020 13:46

Depends if there's loads of smoke and they've got washing on the line

maddiemookins16mum · 26/04/2020 13:48

Compromise.

YeahWhatevver · 26/04/2020 13:48

A bbq isn't smokey for more than 10 mins.

ZoeandChandon · 26/04/2020 13:49

Can you move your bbq away from their patio? We bbq further down the garden so we don’t annoy anyone.

Werkwerkwerkwerkwerkwerk · 26/04/2020 13:49

I posted something similar and everyone attacked me for not being considerate. ....

I think it's your garden and you should use it however the hell you want

SunShine682 · 26/04/2020 13:53

Why did someone say it’s too early for a bbq? Are we not allowed Bbq food for lunch Confused

Just go ahead and have your bbq OP. I think we have had 4 this week.

Slith · 26/04/2020 13:54

...and if you're not firing up an industrial sized bong, having a hog roast and playing drum n bass at top volume...
And there go my plans for the afternoon.

Not really, my nearest neighbour is a mile away so I think I'll carry on...

OneandTwenty · 26/04/2020 13:54

YA massively U for having a bbq that smokes the neighbours out for 2 hours. What on earth do you put on there?

We are having bbq at least once a day, and most people around here have been doing the same. Strictly no need for smoke going on for hours.

vanillandhoney · 26/04/2020 13:56

Nope, nothing wrong with a weekly BBQ at all.

It's only on here that people are so shocked by other people using their gardens for normal summer activities Grin

okiedokieme · 26/04/2020 14:03

BBQ's are fine but I would never light a charcoal one before 5pm because it is smokey and people have washing/sitting in garden etc. Evening is fine

AlternativePerspective · 26/04/2020 14:05

Nothing wrong with having a bbq. I love bbq’s and would do so every warm day of the summer if I could afford it. Grin.

That being said,I did swap my charcoal bbq for a gas one because A,the gas is much quicker,and B, as I live in a tiny terraced house with neighbours on both sides I figured that a charcoal one was perhaps a bit anti-social given there really would be no way to avoid the smoke. I didn’t get rid though until I’d perfected the art just to prove that I could (this was post split from eXH. Grin.

But if my neighbours decided to fire up a BBQ it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

peppermintcapsules · 26/04/2020 14:10

YANBU. 'Can you not have BBQs anymore?' All you have to say is 'No,' and carry on.

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal · 26/04/2020 14:11

We have bbqs much more frequently. We all deserve to enjoy our houses/gardens. So I Don’t complain at my neighbours anything habits and they don’t complain about mine.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 26/04/2020 14:11

YANBU, there's nothing wrong with a BBQ in your own garden once a week,
I love the smell of BBQs and love it if neighbours have one - makes me think of sunny summer days Smile

decisionsdecision · 26/04/2020 14:14

Could you move your BBQ over the other side/end of the garden

superram · 26/04/2020 14:14

My neighbours are bbq wankers on one side, other side bbq more but not wankers. Is your bbq as far away from their patio/house as possible. Can you try and put something around the bbq -we used to use our bbq kid to direct smoke. As long as you are being considerate then it’s not a problem but I could kill one of my neighbours.

Partayyyyy · 26/04/2020 14:34

Sounds to me like your neighbour is just miserable !we bbq every day when its sunny so do our neighbours it is your garden enjoy it if she dosnt like it she could just go indoors Smile

mbosnz · 26/04/2020 14:39

We've moved our bbq to minimise smoke and odour to neighbours. But it's one of the very few 'normal' joys of life that are available at the moment, and if I have to put up with my neighbours joys then they can put up with mine too. It's for a couple of hours max' that there is any sort of possible annoyance caused to others. Obviously if there are people near enough by to have washing impacted, then we're going to wait until it's in.