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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re people loitering and dithering in shoos

222 replies

Carbosug · 26/04/2020 09:05

With one way systems, social distancing, people queuing outside AIBU to wish people would make an effort to move as quickly as possible up and down the aisles.

Standing for ages deliberating between products, phoning your oh to check what brand of marmalade they prefer, or standing for ages checking a shopping list in a narrow aisle where people need to pass is inconsiderate.

These aren't normal times and most people have adjusted the way they shop accordingly.
But you still get the oblivious faffers and delayers.

OP posts:
drizzleborn · 26/04/2020 09:10

Do you feel better for having a vent? Hope so...

It's very disorientating at the supermarkets. People are tense and stressed and second guess themselves. I'm currently shopping for my family and two close neighbours who are shielding and they buy things I've never seen. So yes I sweep down the aisles more slowly because our supermarket is a one way system with no going back and I don't want to miss their gluten free pasta and almond milk.

Hope about you develop your patience during lockdown and try being a bit kinder?

ChazP · 26/04/2020 09:12

To some extent I do agree with you, particularly about phoning to check things, but I also find the pressure of one-way systems and people waiting makes me quite panicky. The idea that once you’ve gone down the aisle you can’t go back up does mean I tend to dither a bit to make sure there’s nothing else I need. Particularly when some things are in stock and others aren’t - I can go down 2 aisles with a clear meal plan in my head and then get to the meat aisle to find no fresh chicken and have to rethink what to get!

PuppyMonkey · 26/04/2020 09:13

Grinshoos.

WeakAndWeary · 26/04/2020 09:15

Shoobedoobedoo Grin

God I am so tired of this certain section of people with too-tight briefs ticking everyone else off. Get. A. Life.

MrsEricBana · 26/04/2020 09:16

Yes the problem comes with stock outs and shopping for unfamiliar products for others BUT if doing this you can still be mindful of those around you.

Butterywarning · 26/04/2020 09:16

Have you thought that perhaps it’s not their OH they’re phoning, but the neighbour or family member who is shielding and therefore unable to shop for themselves?! Quite frankly it’s a shit time all round, so if I can make someone’s day better with a quick phone call to check I’ve got the right thing I will.

EvilPea · 26/04/2020 09:18

I make a list of what I need. In shop order.
But if the shop haven’t got what I need I do find myself staring at the shelf working out what I need, or going back to look at an alternative in the fridge / freezer.

It seems to take ages to do a shop now and I do find myself dithering, part of that is the panic of not easily being able to come back if you forget something or they have t got it.

SunShine682 · 26/04/2020 09:18

Just walk past them.

You don’t have to wait behind them.

SerenDippitty · 26/04/2020 09:18

I thought at first you were talking about footwear departments!

Supermarket shopping is really stressful at the moment. I’d be inclined to cut people some slack.

MigginsMs · 26/04/2020 09:20

YANBU

I was in Morrisons the other day, I needed a product on a particular shelf and a couple with a basket just stood there picking up all the spices and pondering over them while I stood like a dick waiting for them to shift so I could grab my salt. Ffs! First of all who does shopping without a list just now and why does it take 2 of you to go!

HugeAckmansWife · 26/04/2020 09:23

YABU. As others have said, the shops are not the same as they are. Also people are going in to shop who used to do it online. The phoning home might be because (men) who usually don't do the shop genuinely don't know what to substitute if what is in the list isn't there.. Thats a different thread but a real thing. I'm a very calm, not at all anxious person and I'm pretty relaxed about everything that is happening but there is a weird atmosphere in the shops and I can see how it would be unnerving, especially if you are vulnerable, have asthma etc. Lastly, people don't want to go often so they need to make each trip count and not forget things.

TypingError · 26/04/2020 09:27

Yes I've noticed that there are some people in front of me who aren't moving as quickly as I am but no, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's a completely new way of shopping and some take longer than others to get used to it. I have lots of patience with other people though so it comes easy. Phoning a friend about choices of marmalade might make me sigh under my breath though. There's a limit.

KitchenConfidential · 26/04/2020 09:29

The other problem is that a lot of people are shopping on behalf of other people. With stocks low and different from normal (and prices up), it sometimes means a little bit more thinking about what to get. Plus the low stocks sometimes mean people are literally having to rethink their menu planning as they go around the shop.

As you say, these aren’t normal times. How about you show some compassion and consideration too?

Shoxfordian · 26/04/2020 09:31

Yanbu

There's a one in, one out system at the butchers here and the amount of faffing around is ridiculous. How hard is it to make a list before you go to the shop?!

Ponoka7 · 26/04/2020 09:34

It's the standing talking about the products to whoever people are shopping with and lingering to talk to shop assistants, when the shop is only allowing two in at a time.

The shop assistant had to cut her off and pointvout the queue in one instance. The woman had a work uniform on, so it wasn't out of loneliness.

I've seen shop assistants ask people to move to one side if they need to be on their phone. There's a small H&B by mine who has put up a notice that people will be asked to leave if they are loitering on their phone.

We're getting to the point were people should be used to it and have got their heads around it.

Babs1937 · 26/04/2020 09:34

When you are shopping for two extra families who I don't know that well, then yes I sometimes have to stop and give them a quick ring. I do also need to stop and check and mark off on the lists. I also have hubby with another basket doing our shop off yet another list and as he doesn't normally do the shopping he also asks me questions, so that slows us down.
I only go once a week so it is a large shop for everyone as well.
I am very sorry if I am holding you up but I do try and stop out of the way but if I didn't then they wouldn't get all of their shopping. Especially as one of the families is gluten, nut and lactose free so I have to be very careful what I buy them.
HTH

GrimmsFairytales · 26/04/2020 09:34

Just walk past them. You don’t have to wait behind them.

THIS ///\

I had the misfortune of being in front of a woman in the shop the other day who refused to walk past others. She kept huffing and moaning about people being too slow. I honestly don't understand why she couldn't just walk past me and the other shoppers.

BrandyandBabycham · 26/04/2020 09:35

I can see where you’re coming from OP but I am sometimes one of those ditherers, as I do my parents’ shopping as well as mine so have to hunt for unfamiliar items. It’s getting better now but the first few times I went shopping in lockdown, I was tearful & quite panicky. As pp’s have said, we’re living in stressful times & cutting other people a bit of slack helps 🙂

Iwalkinmyclothing · 26/04/2020 09:36

For goodness sake.

I swear some of you spend all your time looking for things to complain about.

BrandyandBabycham · 26/04/2020 09:36

Surprised there are still couples shopping - I went to Aldi the other day & the assistant on the door would only let one person from a couple go in

pjmask · 26/04/2020 09:39

Yabu. I'm sick of people like you taking any opportunity to have a pop at others when people are, in general, just doing their best

People are being told to shop as infrequently as possible. When you know you're not just going to pop back in for any bits you've forgotten, of course people have to stop and consult lists, and often the lists of others they are shopping for

Lockheart · 26/04/2020 09:39

YANBU, but I find most people just walk past ditherers. As long as you walk past quickly to a spot a decent distance away, it's fine.

What is annoying is when someone is dithering in front of the bit you want, so you have to wait 2m away and therefore block someone else from looking at something (and on and on and on!).

The shop I usually go to is very small and there's only 4 small aisles. However it's in London zone 2 and so is busy. A backlog develops quite quickly if someone is blocking an aisle.

Scoobydoobywho · 26/04/2020 09:41

I don't mind people having to take a bit longer than normal. It's more the people that block the aisle by standing in the middle of it with their trolley or the one I had on Friday who had his trolley going across the aisle.

RainbowGlittersandSparkles · 26/04/2020 09:41

It’s hard to shop when your in a one way system, trying to avoid ppl, trying to find things from bare shelves and trying to think about what food you want.

Give people a break they are trying their best and this isn’t normal times your right so if you get the wrong thing or forget something it’s not as easy to pop back to the shop.

cardibach · 26/04/2020 09:43

She couldn’t walk past you because then she wouldn’t have been maintaining 2m distance. I’d have thought that was obvious.
It’s irritating and shopping takes ages but I’m just taking a breath and letting it go. There are lots of reasons people might not be able to instantly pick what they want (as PP have shown) and anyway I’ve nowhere else to be most days...
I find I’m being quick, panicking and buying too much in case I need it so maybe I should do the dithering a bit more!