Re people loitering and dithering in shoos

[Carbosug]

With one way systems, social distancing, people queuing outside AIBU to wish people would make an effort to move as quickly as possible up and down the aisles.

Standing for ages deliberating between products, phoning your oh to check what brand of marmalade they prefer, or standing for ages checking a shopping list in a narrow aisle where people need to pass is inconsiderate.

These aren't normal times and most people have adjusted the way they shop accordingly.
But you still get the oblivious faffers and delayers.

I would add I not sure I taking up too much people's time. Staff in every shop have been very kind to me and I always say thank you. No one has said I should hurry up or not be there. On checkout I always warn I not very quick if it busy and they always really kind and say it not a problem and for me to take my time.

The big tesco near me has the one way system, but the staff don't enforce it because 'people just ignore it anyway'. YANBU, ditherers really piss me off at the best of times when I want to be in and out and I have to pretend to be really interested in something while I'm waiting for them to make an actual decision. Other option to just stare at them...

Lots of things I normally buy are out of stock so I am having to look for alternatives. Also looking for things for my 88 year old father in law down aisles I don't usually use. Are you in a rush OP? Why does everything have to revolve around how you want to shop?

On a light-hearted note, men seem to be the worst for this. Stood at end of an aisle for ages while men of varying ages dithered. Another woman at the other end caught my eye and smiled knowingly. My elderly mother says that's why Aldi and Lidl have that middle bit full of random things, to keep them occupied...

But there are considerate and inconsiderate ways to dither. In yesterday's shop dithering yogurt lady blocked the entire aisle and ignored people saying excuse me until one lady barged her trolley out of the way. She could have stayed to one side so people could get past easily. She could have just asked 1 person what sort of yogurt she should get or just get a selection (tbh it sounded like she was talking to her OH and kids) not go through all the options 4 times. There were a couple of other people dithering for whatever reason and they kept to one side/asked a quick question on the phone and they didn't cause a problem. Yogurt lady was just oblivious to everyone else.

Chillicheese no need to tell the MIL to fuck off. Just don’t answer your phone. For her to be phoning you 3 or 4 times while you’re shopping is the height of selfishness

Fortunately the people I shop for, while elderly and infirm, haven’t completely lost their common sense. They realise that going to the supermarket isn’t fun, it’s time consuming, stressful and we’re all having to adjust to a difficult situation.

I’m the first to say ‘just walk round them’ if someone is dithering too long. The rules don’t mean you’re going to catch COVID 19 the second you’re less than 2 metres from someone! It’s about applying common sense. And part of that surely is not phoning someone while they’re half way round Tesco.

I take as long as I need. I don't want to have to go back because I was rushing, if that means someone else has to wait a bit longer then I'm ok with that.

I called DH to ask what size bags we need for our new bin, so shoot me!

@Saladaysior I try not to answer every time. But the subsequent phone call off DP to say ‘did you not see mum ringing ? She needs nutmeg, some greaseproof paper and Viennese whirls, she needs them for tonight’

Because there's a risk of transmission if you are in close proximity to a person with the virus for a period of time. Simply walking past someone isn't risky as you're not near them for long enough.

Completely appreciate that, however I have no way of knowing whether the person I pass would be of that view, or would instead be stressed, annoyed or upset that I got closer than 2 metres. I would prefer not to stress or anger someone unnecessarily, food shopping is stressful enough as it is.

As an example, I was yelled at when out for a walk recently when I walked on a pavement past a parked car which had people in it and the windows open. I had already moved from the opposite pavement to avoid someone who was standing on it talking to the people in the car. I intended to walk down the middle of the (narrow-ish) road then spotted the people in the car so then headed for the other pavement not realising the windows that side were open. A person standing further down the pavement who I think was with either the car people or the pavement stander shouted "2 metres!!" at me and then kept shouting you're supposed to be 2 metres away! On the other hand I see others passing people closely with neither party looking remotely stressed or annoyed - I have no way of knowing which reaction people who are standing making their choice in a supermarket will have to me passing them.

however I have no way of knowing whether the person I pass would be of that view, or would instead be stressed, annoyed or upset that I got closer than 2 metres.

You could ask them.

Simply say excuse me do you mind if I just nip past, I don't need anything else from down here and I wouldn't want to hold others up.

If they say no then fair enough, but I suspect the vast majority would be happy to let you pass.

I think YABU and I’m generally intolerant of people dithering.

Shopping fucking sucks at the moment. I try to write my list in order of the aisles but honestly who can remember the entire layout of their supermarket? And as others have pointed out, sometimes the thing you need is out of stock and you’ve already passed the the thing that could’ve been an alternative. It’s easier to try and take your time and not get frazzled.

It’s not like most people have anywhere to be at the moment. Just let people get on with it and be a bit patient.

sunflowery some of us are still working full time and shopping for our vulnerable family members and helping other people out. Maybe consider that some people are stressed and pushed for time as well. As I pointed out earlier there are considerate and inconsiderate ways to dither. The considerate ones, so what, but I feel perfectly entitled to moan about the others.

Some people need to look at the ingredients too. Coeliacs, those with allergies.

@PinkBuffalo

((Hug))

The only ones that actively wind me up are couples shopping and dithering. So one blocking the shelves with their trolley whilst the other is standing in front of the shelves having a long look.
I had to say “excuse me” to one couple who were there for absolutely ages and they looked very miffed. Literally standing in front of the item I needed. All they had to do was stand aside for 3 seconds so I could swoop in. Which I did and I could hear them muttering whilst they went back to wasting time.
I find shopping stressful now as everyone is in a bubble trying to think about what they need.
Also the prices are often wrong or things have been moved to cover gaps in shelves.Obviously it’s harder to complain now but my bill is often higher because of errors as well as the cost of things being a bit more.

I dont understand why couples need to go together and why one of them cant just go.

This is why I go after 8pm as it’s so much less stressy and no one has to stick to the one way system. Appreciate that not everyone can go then though.

I can be in and out like a Supermarket Sweep pro but I realise some people need more time. Sometimes they need to read ingredients for allergens, are shopping for other people etc.

But the woman in Sainsbury's just standing with the trolley horizontally across the aisle blocking it and walking slowly up and down looking at the plants made me roll my eyes a bit. I asked politely if I could get past her and she looked at me like I'd asked her to go puppy murdering with me.

I'm crap at supermarkets, I shop online so don't know where anything is so wouldn't be able to compose a list in the right order. I've gotten lucky with click and collect so am not the ditherer in your way but some patience is probably a good idea.

I wouldn't like to take a delivery slot from somebody more vulnerable as they are already hard to get so I just do my best with the list.

Is it Aldi and Asda that have introduced the ‘don’t touch unless you are going to buy it’ rule?

Great for things like meat, veggies etc, but what about checking ingredients for allergies etc?

Checking for allergies I would imagine would be fine; it'll just be to stop all of the unnecessary touching of products

Also, for the past 5 years I have had shopping delivered. Very rarely go into the shop. I have switched to go to my closet supermarket which is Morrisons. I am
Not familiar with the shop at all and have found it quite stressful. Also shopping for my PIL. Add to that l? The stuff I usually buy isn't there so then I am trying to think of alternatives. As we are young and fit and healthy, we decided not to try for delivery slots.

I have no way of knowing which reaction people who are standing making their choice in a supermarket will have to me passing them.

Aaargh @RichardMarxisinnocent. JUST USE YOUR WORDS! You are summing this thread up. Why does no-one here actually speak? Why are 90% of MNers unable to smile and say "Sorry, excuse me" with a smile?

WTF is wrong with everyone? I'm an introvert with pretty rubbish social skills, yet I'm perfectly capable of engaging briefly with a stranger who hasn't noticed that they're in my path.

The phoning home might be because (men) who usually don't do the shop genuinely don't know what to substitute if what is in the list isn't there

A couple of weeks ago, there was a bloke in Tesco who spent the whole time in there on his fucking phone, standing in the middle of the aisles, reading ingredients from packets of stuff to (presumably) his partner.

He was in there when I went, I'd managed to do a full shop, help a guy who couldn't find a few things, and queue for approx 10-15 minutes for the checkout, and as I left, the bloke was still on his phone!