Some people enjoy patronising and depressing others

[Esprohuy]

Clearly everyone is having a different experience of the current situation. It seems to me from the posts here and elsewhere that MN is full of people searching for threads from people either asking genuinely when others think the restrictions may be reduced, or people expressing mental or emotional.distress due to being locked away, sometimes alone. The pattern is the OP posts, there are a couple of sympathetic/in the case of lockdown speculation dovish opinions then the Depressor swoops, usually with a formulation along the lines of:
If you think these restrictions will be lifted anytime soon you are a naïve fool. Christmas will be cancelled and things will never fully return to normal

In the threads expressing mental distress their standard formulation is a variety of:
FFS pull yourselves together. It's been (insert number) weeks, how the F do you think people coped in the war the. All you are being asked to do is stay in and watch Netflix

There seems to be a remarkably large number of people among this cohort who claim grandparental involvement in WW1/2 and have a partner/sibling serving as a front line NHS worker. These depressors seem to scour MN looking to pounce on people expressing povs like the above.

Good point GoldenOmber that will have to be factored in.

"I'm superior because I don't moan and let everyone do what they like without comment and don't get too uptight."

Yes but it takes me effort not to judge, it's hard sometimes, but ultimately it's better for me not too. Some people are going to break the rules or moan about cancelled holidays, or say that they're single handedly holding up the economy because their sat in their comfy house on their laptop with no kids and you've been furloughed in a job that pays less than half of what they earn at the best of times*

But you getting uptight and upset about it doesn't change anything except making you feel down. I am trying to live by the mantra 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.'

*sorry got a bit specific there, this no judgement thing ain't easy.

misery loves company and Dementors hunt in packs

I think I am a recovered dementor
Well done on admitting to this. Most wouldn't.

Chockablok good points.

I have a weekend away in the UK booked for March 2021. I reckon it’s about 50/50 whether or not it will go ahead

I love the way a dementor's mind works. Holidays are and always have been a 50/50 chance.....you either go or you don't

Babies in hedgerows is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages 😂 can you imagine? As well as Val on the BBC and the cyclists.

This thread feels like the mumsnet I enjoy the most, but that’s just because it reflects my own attitudes I suppose and I feel validated. I assume the Dementors have the same experience whilst they were trashIng some poor buggers for buying Easter eggs.

The black and white thinking that I’ve seen on here, and especially about Coronavirus, leads to misery, it really does. If you are so tightly tied to the concept that there is one (ONE) correct way of how things should happen, you will be disappointed over and over again. Some things may come through partially, but overall, that expectation will not be met. And so you feel continuously let down and this feeds your unhappiness. You can see the outcomes in the impotent fury of posters and their ‘stay the fuck at home’ rants.

The holidays threads are baffling as no one else knows the answers. I read one where someone had booked a mid-July break to somewhere in the UK (fwiw I have one in August).

They were out in force telling the OP it will be impossible, no no no. The swivel-eyed dementors were out in force telling people they would not be welcome regardless. I mean wtf? If I am allowed to go on a socially-isolated holiday in August I bloody well will. And some misery deciding I’m ‘not welcome’ can frankly do one! If travel to different parts of the country isn’t allowed then I won’t do it. But no one has any idea if it will be possible or not.

Babies in hedgerows

I think there is also another seam of frustration showing. The lockdown started in late March. This Friday it will be 1 May. So the Dementors can no longer use "weeks- it'll be MONTHS" because it will already have been months. Similarly the next change in lockdown is unlikely to be a tightening. While no-one knows when it will come, the fact that restrictions won't get more intrusive is deeply upsetting to the dementor as they can't beat people with that stick either. Plus anyone reading this in the UK/Ireland and pretty much anyone in Europe has by definition already proved that they can handle (albeit it has and continues to be am awful experience and for some tragic) 6 to 9 weeks, so the power of the Dementor wavers with every passing day. I'm guessing there will be no or a minimal lifting of restrictions in early May, at which point like the Last Night at the Proms the Dementors will come out trying to hammer home now this is now the new normal and people will juat have to bloody well get used to it, and all UK foreign travel will be cancelled forever and WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A SEX LIFE THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING AND MY GF PASSCHENDALE..WW2..BLITZ..NEW NORMAL...LOCKDOWN...PLEASE LET ME DRAG YOU DOWN. This enjoyment contains the seeds of its own destruction as say within a week and a half it is closer to the next than the previous lockdown review and still people are carrying on and the power is waning every single day

I have just read this , someone who was scared about giving birth during covid-19. What has this site become?

I was told on here to be grateful not to be giving birth in a refugee camp alone like Shamima Begum I’m reluctant to share my experiences when I’m feeling vulnerable. No doubt I fall into the selfish feeble whinger category for many of you.

It’s interesting hearing from an ex dementors pov because it’s so alien to my way of thinking. I don’t mean I’m an eternal optimist, but I don’t see any point in taking the bleakest view possible either. I hate being angry and miserable, it makes me feel physically unwell and I hate to see others angry and miserable because I assume it’s makes them feel awful too. I very much live my life by the serenity prayer not out of any kind of moral superiority but because it makes life’s ups and downs easier to cope with. Deal with what you can deal with, don’t catastrophize (sp?) educate yourself about things, knowledge really is power, just because your aunt posts something on Facebook doesn’t make it true, learn how to assess risk.

I don't think these people are miserable at all I think they're Disaster Vultures (I'm sure there's a better name for it but I can't think of one). They're LOVING the drama of it all and the fact that they're better at 'following the rules' than everyone else. Maybe their day to day lIves are boring and humdrum and they hate their job etc, but this normal suspension of everyday life is hugely exciting to them and they dread it being all over. This is why they will not countenance any kind of positivity or good news about potential lockdown easing or numbers falling. They don't want to get back to normal, they want this to go on as long as possible.

Found another dementor.

On a travel thread where people are harmlessly daydreaming about where they'd go once this is over, the poster has put a long list of questions that you'd want to ask before going anywhere such as how many covid cases have been reported, how many hospital beds there are etc etc.

Honestly talk about misreading the tone of the thread and assuming that without this oh so helpful advice ,we're all blithering idiots who are planning to book our flights tomorrow.

Alljay has hit the nail on the head. These people love the drama and do not want it over. If there was a cast iron cure found tomorrow, they would still stick their fingers in their ears and go la la la don't want to hear it

Totally coronabored you can almost hear the glee coming off some of them as the shit news pours in. They're like rubberneckers at a terrible accident. Theyre invested in this going on as long as possible. Sad.

They are the people that are first to post on here when there is a terrorist attack. All done under the guise of "I just thought you should know"

They're LOVING the drama of it all and the fact that they're better at 'following the rules' than everyone else

I’ve found this part of the whole lock down so much harder to deal with than the actual restrictions

The constant pick, pick, pick and criticism from other people.

Some people seem to have no concept that other people have different needs and experiences to them and tie themselves into knots arguing why that other people are doing lockdown wrong.

We have horses that we have to see to twice a day. My daughter’s mental health is fucked, I‘m really worried she’s going to end up having some sort of full scale break down so I have been taking her to the yard with me every evening. They’re actually her horses anyway. She initially stopped riding but recently has got back on and has been doing some walk/trot flatwork in our school a couple of times a week and she is much more chilled and less anxious (horses have always been a bit of a haven for her).

One of my friends is super disapproving of this and is constantly criticising that we are flouting lockdown rules. She’s keeps telling me to ‘stay the fuck at home’ but doesn’t have any suggestions on how we can look after the horses without leaving the house. DD’s mental health is not important when people are dying, I bought a bag of pony carrots at a farm shop and got criticised for wasting food meant for humans.

She’s actually having a whale of a time criticising everyone and had been posting bollocks on FB community groups about queues in The Range car parks and shaming people for buying wine in ASDA until the admins banned such posts

I’m just trying to do my best here and the constant shrieking and drama and constant criticism is getting me down a bit now.

I have stopped answering her calls and am ignoring her texts now. I am actually quite shocked as she’d never come across that way before

@Springersrock

Aside from your friend’s twatty opinion, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Care of livestock - which horses are - fall under essential travel for caring purposes. My local police were incredulous at the idea that it WOULDN’T be essential.

And riding is not legislated against, nor is there any mention of it on the government pages. The BEF have advised against it (as would be expected else they’d be condoning all riding in all circumstances) but have said those who do should proceed with caution. Almost everyone I know is still riding, including me. In my case it’s to keep me AND my horse sane and to reduce the risk of her injuring me on the ground. As with most things, it’s a balance of risk and it sounds like you are mitigating the risk to your daughter’s mental health.

Ignore the dementors :)

I don't think these people are miserable at all I think they're Disaster Vultures (I'm sure there's a better name for it but I can't think of one). They're LOVING the drama of it all and the fact that they're better at 'following the rules' than everyone else.

I think you are 50/50 on that!

So like... 50% of the dementors are the people with bad lives, who enjoy thwarting their negativity on the rest of the world because deep down it's the only way they know can make them feel better.

I've also noticed that the posters who love throwing the selfish word out if you even whisper about applying logic are usually in high risk categories and "I will DIE if I catch this virus"

THEN...

You have the people you're talking about it.

Those people are the ones who are "trapped" in Spain during a volcanic ash cloud. They take extra holidays at work so they're still getting paid. The airlines are paying for them to stay in their nice hotels. They are fucking loving the drama of this. All the upheaval. The what is going to happen next?? How long will this last?? Chatting over their Tequila Sunrise at the bar that the Daily Mail says it's going to be 3 months! Watching on with glee as bus-loads of tourists get stranded at the local Spanish airport because their hotel kicked them out.

And when they hear about holidaymakers in the UK, desperate for this to be over because they are missing their holidays it's like a big echo chamber around the lovely swimming pool of:

Don't they know it's an VOLCANIC ASH CLOUD????

THIS THING COULD STAY IN THE AIR FOR MONTHS!!

We cannot risk peoples lives getting on flights!

We MUST stop all flights!!

VOLCANIC ASH MAKES PLANE ENGINES EXPLODE ARE YOU STUPID OR JUST SELFISH?

And my favourite... How can they even think about going on holiday in the middle of a natural disaster?

All while lathering on their sun screen and looking forward to their all-inclusive buffet dinner.

One of our local councillors (!) Took a photo of a local who'd had the effrontery to drive from the other side of town to walk her dog in the dog walking place. Posted it on FB. Apparently, she 'wasn't allowed' to drive there. Happy to say cllr photo poster got roundly trashed and hopefully lost a good few votes in the process. Horrible creature.

@BrightYellowDaffodil oh, I know we’re not doing anything wrong. She’s just one of those people who can’t understand that different people have different circumstances. It’s just constant pick, pick, pick. No constructive advice or suggestions, just constant criticism and how we’re flouting lockdown rules. I also think there’s a little bit of jealousy that we have a genuine, essential reason to leave the house twice a day.

DD did stop riding initially, but after her normally sane and sensible pony nearly took me out when I was turning her out one morning, we decided that it was safer to mix it up a bit and DD ride a couple of times a week. Pony needs something to think about, so DD is doing lots of schooling and pole work and stuff like that.

I was mucking out the other day and DD went and sat with them in their field. Both horses came over and laid down next to her. I took a beautiful photo of them and made the mistake of posting it on my social media - you’d think I was personally stabbing nurses or something

Is anyone else a bit surprised that so far no-one has come onto this thread to berate us all for not taking things seriously enough? There's normally at least one dissenting voice on most AIBU threads.

Bloody hell the fruit picking debacle is still rumbling on.

There's a determined core who are convinced that there should be tugging their forelocks and prostrating themselves in gratitude for the opportunity to go and pick fruit. Disabilities? Naah, you're just a lazy drain on society, get on with it. Overweight? Do you good to sweat off some off that lard and if you keel over because going from relative inactivity into backbreaking hard labour, well that's no more than you deserve for being fat in the first place.

And you can just tell that the people who are spouting this crap are doing so safe in the knowledge that their jobs and roles are fine, so there's no danger of them being asked to spend 12 hours a day bent double picking broccoli . Oh no, not me! I'm fung shui co-ordinator on retainer so I don't need the work, and anyway, it's good for the proles to go and learn some work ethic.

Of / off / typos everywhere. Gahhh!!