DP & I together 10yrs Now in my country, Sydney, with her adopted DD 18 and my DS 13. Every few months - an almighty blow up. I think she is too harsh with the kids. She is a militarian & sees DS as disrespectful, obnoxious& annoying. He is, some of this, but I believe she is far less tolerant than an average parent. The ball bounces too loudly, he is too noisy, eats too messily, walks too heavily. .All of this usually is manageable. However, when heightened, she provokes her daughter to the point of lashing out (at her) by chasing her, for example if a door is slammed, then gets right in her face (like1") telling her off/shouting, then blocking the doorway/paths when DD tries to move away. Today 1st time, she cornered DS in she'd, as above. He was 'slowly' putting the ball down. He attempted to barge past her, she grabbed him and he pummelled her on the arms. I tried to avoid this happening, as I had told her to keep back rather than force a confrontation. I could foresee this. He was in the process of giving a 2nd ball up as he'd had the original one confiscated the day before. I am horrified he lashed out (no excuse) and was pushing boundaries but very upset that she provoked him to the point of such frustration. (DSD has ASD & DS some like behaviours)
AIBU to to be really angry with her (YES) or NO, You are not being unreasonable to be angry with her