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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD punched a wall and is now in agony and can’t move her pinkie, will A&E see her?

306 replies

riannonmas · 25/04/2020 05:34

Had a row with her BF on phone and unfortunately punched a concrete wall not considering consequences. Is now in agony, can’t move her pinky finger and her hand is visibly not right. Ordinarily would take her down straight away but the hospital is a major city university hospital and I imagine (Well, also know based on what I’ve heard through social media) swamped with CV. The walk-in minor injuries centre near us is also now focused on CV and telling people not to come in and only go to A&E if it is life threatening, which DD’s situation isn’t. Otherwise they seem to just want you to suck it up. Don’t want to unnecessarily risk exposing her or our family to CV, especially if A&E won’t see her for the hand injury. She is 17 so I’d only be dropping her off as I doubt they’d let me in. Really I want to take her but DH is against it as is terrified of CV and wants me to look up how to treat it at home.

OP posts:
TKAAHUARTG · 25/04/2020 07:36

And also typical of MN to dismiss important warning signs. I would be looking at her relationship very fucking closely if it causes her that much sadness/frustration/anger.

Traviis · 25/04/2020 07:41

"self harm" Why the punctuation? It's a well-identified form of self-harm and it's important for parents to know this as it's not always recognised in the same way as cutting.

ImaPinkToothbrush12 · 25/04/2020 07:44

I went last week with a suspected broken finger. They were happy to see me.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 25/04/2020 07:47

Punctuation because I quoted another rooster obviously

I'm pleased I don't live in a world where I can't be infallible without someone close to me making a diagnosis of some sort.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 25/04/2020 07:47

Rooster? Poster

TKAAHUARTG · 25/04/2020 07:49

She is 17. Come on. Don't be so dismissive. It is not a failing on her part.

Lanurk · 25/04/2020 07:49

Hope she got seen nice and quick op.

Traviis · 25/04/2020 07:50

It's not a diagnosis, it's a definition.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 25/04/2020 07:51

Why isn't it a failing @TKAAHUARTG? Do teenagers not make mistakes?

I'm assuming if the OP, who know her DD better than any of us, is concerned then she'll deal with it. The immediate diagnosis that anyone has a problem/disorder because of one incident is sadly typical of MN hysteria

suggestionsplease1 · 25/04/2020 07:52

I would think it's certainly worthwhile discussing the incident so that it hopefully doesn't happen again. I work with some young people who experience difficulties managing frustration and one young woman has done exactly the same thing several times over the years and broken her hand several times, leading to manual dexterity issues & necessitating exam arrangements of extra time, ICT. It's hopefully just a one off and a painful lesson learned but definitely worth a conversation.

AmelieTaylor · 25/04/2020 07:52

I hope she's being seen now.

Obviously your DH is wrong & I would find it worrying that he's not concerned about the potential long term
Damage to her hand if it's not sorted properly. Is he her Dad? I'd expect ANY adult to be concerned tbh, but if he's actually her Dad I'd find that even more worrying.

After you get her hand sorted I'd be getting to the bottom of this. I think lockdown is very difficult for teens,especially those in relationships. It's understandable that they want to be together etc, but I'd want to know if he's putting her under pressure to break the rules or indeed if she's angry because he won't.

Yes, she's 17, but being so angry she punched a concrete wall would have me sticking my nose in like an ant eater!!

Oysterbabe · 25/04/2020 07:53

Definitely sounds broken. Your DH is a knob.

Bobbiepin · 25/04/2020 07:55

Your DH sounds like a dick. Even if it wasn't a&e necessary we are being advised to seek help when we need it. It's not a GP job and minor injuries have specified Covid only. Does he expect you to build an x ray machine at home?

Imstillskanking · 25/04/2020 07:57

If it is actually broken then she definitely needs to go to hospital. That won't get better on it's own. So unless you can confidently say it isn't broken, you are doing the right thing.

Your DH is being a twat. FWIW being unable to move your finger is often a sign that a bone is broken.

TKAAHUARTG · 25/04/2020 07:58

Why isn't it a failing @TKAAHUARTG? Do teenagers not make mistakes? it is her behaviour not her character. It really does not help to minimise it. What is causing her to act this way?

nanbread · 25/04/2020 07:58

I saw a poster about "who to call / where to go for medical issues" the other day and the gist was, broken bone = drive to A&E.

Doobedoobedoobe · 25/04/2020 08:02

Glad she’s getting the hand sorted.

On a side note, how old is DD and how long has she been with the boyfriend? I’d be asking her some serious questions about the state of their relationship (how he treats her/how she treats him etc) given that a row over the phone has caused such a massive reaction from her that she punched a wall

MrsVMorgan · 25/04/2020 08:05

Glad she’s getting seen.

tribpot · 25/04/2020 08:07

Here is the chief exec of the NHS asking patients not to stay at home if they have urgent care needs. Hope she gets seen.

returnofthecat · 25/04/2020 08:07

Glad you've gone in. Not getting a break (or even a serious sprain) treated in a timely basis just sets you up for a lifetime of unpleasant rehab.

I'm not sure punching a wall is normal, but we don't live in normal times. It doesn't sound your DD is coping well with the lockdown, and I'd encourage her to reflect on that rather than just dismiss the incident. What made her feel this way, and what help does she want you to provide?

It's unfortunate she's hurt herself to this extreme, but this could be a wake up call to the fact she can't do this on her own.

Bertucci · 25/04/2020 08:09

I hope she gets seen quickly.

I wouldn’t be minimising the punching of the wall either. This behaviour would really worry me.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 25/04/2020 08:16

She needs to go.........my brother suffered a life changing injury that almost cost him his job (( he's an engineer )) multiple ops and almost a year off work he's finally back in work.

All that for a broken finger, couldn't believe how much it affected his life, we certainly weren't laughing by the end of the saga (( he'd fallen off a kids scooter that he'd been racing on with his brother in law)) 🙄

SoupDragon · 25/04/2020 08:21

I knew as soon as I read the OP that some sanctimonious little turds would pipe up and say "get anger management".

Do you think the medical staff who saw my DS under similar circumstances were also "sanctimonious little turds" for questioning whether he has anger issues? it is not a normal response and worth questioning. In DS's case he hadn't though beyond not punching his brother and I am sure the OP's DD is similar- a single burst. You'd have to be dim not to question it and consider whether there is an issue though.

Hope your DD is seen quickly, OP!

blackcat86 · 25/04/2020 08:24

Is your DH always such an unsupportive twat? Absolutely the to A&E. Is he suggesting you just leave her with a potentially broken hand? Your poor DD needs assessment and treatment. If DH is always like this it certainly could be impacting on DDs view on men and relationships so perhaps find her an online counsellor to speak to.

daisypond · 25/04/2020 08:25

Absolutely take her in. I hope you are there now. That is common sense. I’m shocked at people suggesting not to. Radio has item on now telling people that A&E is open and people must not be scared of catching the virus there and to get treatment if you need it.