AIBU I’m saying you have to spell everything out for men

[sunnyblossom1]

I asked my husband to make a telephone appointment for my two sons. They both have had their eczema flare up during the lockdown. The doctor rings me now about one child and when I ask about the other he says they are not on his list. When I ask my husband he says I rang and said I wanted a telephone appointment for two children but she only took details for one and so I thought that would be ok. Why does everything have to be spelt out for some people. No one gives us a manual when we have babies we just use our common sense. Aaaaaaah just had to vent as I didn’t want to cause an argument in lockdown. Will call docs tomorrow and sort it out as it’s easily done but it’s just the frustration sometimes.

But he did nothing wrong. He asked for an appointment for two children, which is normal and a double appointment should have been booked.
The receptionist booking the appointment made the error, but go ahead and blame your husband for their mistake. And then condemn every other human being that happens to be born with XY chromosomes while you’re at it.
Your post speaks volumes about just how bigoted and prejudiced you are against men.

People who think men are too stupid and incapable to change a nappy or notice that the dishes need to be done or that the dog hasn't been walked are the real man haters.

I couldn't agree more.

Weird how women who expect men to behave as decent, empathetic, competent human beings are the ones who are labelled as man haters, whilst this sort of thing is accepted.

OP this isnt a problem with men, this is a problem with the man you married. A lot of people (me included) married men who can absolutely be trusted to book appointments correctly. It might make you feel better about your situation to blame it on the Y chromosome but its got a lot more to do with your husband as a person.

Just checking for the usual “women do it too” and “not my Nigel’s”

Yup, usuals didn’t disappoint!

Strategic incompetence 99 percent of the times seems to only affect certain things. Its a male/male.socialisation phenomenon.

No, it’s human, not male. Women do this too with unpleasant and most DIY tasks. Anytime their car gets a flat tire, or the bins need to be hosed out, or a dead bird needs to be removed, or cleaning out gutters, and most DIY things like putting up shelves, repairing wall cracks, etc.

Could that be Marie because many of us don’t stand for sexist sweeping generalisations?

Women do this too with unpleasant and most DIY tasks. Anytime their car gets a flat tire, or the bins need to be hosed out, or a dead bird needs to be removed, or cleaning out gutters, and most DIY things like putting up shelves, repairing wall cracks,

I'm not sure that's equivalent. Repairing a crack in a wall is something that needs done once in a blue moon, and also most people are happy to pay someone to do it.

Picking your own dirty underwear off the floor and putting it in the wash is something that needs done every day, and you can't exactly outsource it.

Having said that, I'm married to a man who does more than his fair share of housework and domestic drudgery but has never changed a car tyre or done DIY in his life and never will.

I feel like this with my DH, just never fully does anything I ask, so I end up being cross and doing it myself. I worked with a girl once, who told me if you do a bad job, people won't ask you to do it again 🙄 my DH definitely does this.

Part of the reason I’m divorced is because at home the ex needed everything spelled out as if he was a toddler

Oddly at work he was a competent worker able to use his initiative

Certainly is a mystery ... mmm

Well thank goodness we “usuals” will always speak up against sexism.
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It’s equivalent to making a doctors appointment. And most people can’t afford to pay another man to do it anymore than most people can afford to hire a cleaner.

"Just checking for the usual “women do it too” and “not my Nigel’s”

Yup, usuals didn’t disappoint!"

The 'women do it too' thing gets my goat because I see far less of this behaviour in women. People saying their husband is not like this - I have no issue with. It's just people pointing out that, no, you don't have to put up with these useless wastes of space because some men are actually functioning adults.

Some men.

My DH is not a simpleton. He’s also not a lazy, entitled manchild. So no, I don’t need to spell things out for him. I wouldn’t put up with him pretending to be crap at things to get out of doing them, either. And if he genuinely was that dumb I’d have no respect for him so I’d have to dump him.

Not all men.
Dont do it for him.
Inform him he needs to call again

Not usually one to screech ' won't anybody think of the poor mans?' But some men are thick/useless/lazy /disorganised just as some women are. Unfortunately there are plenty of women who indulge men by infantalising them becoming a dogsbody or redo things the bloke has done but not to their liking.

Well thank goodness we “usuals” will always speak up against sexism

That doesn’t really account for the usuals obtuseness in reading and inability to see nuance but hey, crusade away!

It's annoying, yes.

Don't think this is a terribly good example though.

And forget trying to make him put it right- you'd end up with even more things to do to re-correct him!

It's probably already been said up-thread, but I find it intensely irritating that when a woman is daft she's sub-standard, but when a man is daft he's just being a 'typical man'.

Am I the only one thinking the doctor could have been more helpful though? Everyone in the same household will have their records linked. It would have been the work of a minute to click on the other child's record, take what was probably a very similar history and order another prescription (or whatever) and it's done. Much quicker than having to go through it all freshly in a new phone call on a subsequent day. Many GPs would have done it without hesitation.

“That doesn’t really account for the usuals obtuseness in reading and inability to see nuance but hey, crusade away!”

Nice gaslighting. It’s not really sexism to say all men are stupid, incompetent and need things spelled out for them or it’s done on purpose to get out of doing work.
No, of course not, we usuals are just “reading” wrong.

What a terrible example seeing as it was a woman that made a mistake because she didnt listen to a very clear message

Will call docs tomorrow and sort it out

Can he not do it?

Maybe you should call the doctors and explain to the woman that she needs to take both names when someone wants an appointment for two people

Yes but most if us are not saying men are stupid. That's the point. If they were stupid they would basically have died between when they moved out from their parents houses and before they met their wives.

When babies are born no one is anymore in the know about how to feed dress or change them. I'd never changed a nappy in my life pre kids.

But Lot of women have noticed that once their kids are born their usually perfectly capable partners suddenly start sleeping through everything. Being unsure how or when to feed the kids, etc

How many people have said to you when you are at work " husband baby sitting is he" because apparently husbands dont so much parent their children as do the wife a favour by babysitting their own kids.

Single mums are benefit scum who should have kept their legs closed. Single fathers however are superheroes.

If people have never seen a hint of the low expectation society has re childcare and home organisation they you are never fortunate indeed

Very

Sorry site is again very slow and I cant see what I am typing