NC for this topic as I'm going to discuss an argument/disagreement between DH and me had last night and he would hate to be identified in RL.
We have been strictly sticking to the lockdown rules and I've stepped out of our home only three times so far, all for food shopping. DH has been out almost everyday but for his once a day exercise or/and visiting his very isolated allotment. He goes out only early morning, usually comes back home at around 7 am. He says no one is around as it's so early.
My first trip to our local Tesco Express was with DH - he drove and waited in a car and I went grab stuff. It was at the opening time so very quiet.
The second trip was to our local corner shop and I went alone on foot (3 mins) in an evening. My friend told me the shop was usually very quiet in the evenings (7-8 pm) and I needed milk and bread for DH (I don't need them). DH didn't like it as he believed early morning was the best time to go but it was quiet as my friend said and I got what he needed - he needs lots of milk for his cereal and snacks on toasts daytime. So this didn't develop into an argument.
The third trip was to our local Tesco Express by car - this was last night and I went alone. Earlier the day, DH said we were running out a few essentials such as vegs and bread so we would need to go shopping again soon. I heard our local Tesco was fairly quiet in the evenings so decided to go. I am the cook in our household so I really wanted to fill our fridge to feed my family the next day.
When I got back home with three huge shopping bags, I started sterilizing them as I always do then had a shower as I always do. I got a lot of yummy stuff which would make DH super happy the next day. But he wasn't happy and he got very very angry that I went shopping...
His point was that I was risking my family by going out for shopping. Apparently I was being selfish and irresponsible. He thinks we should only go out once two weeks and only very early morning.
I can see what he means but as the one who plans meals, once two weeks is a bit too ambitious. I would like to go at least once a week. Some of my friends go twice a week! We have a teen boy who eats like a horse too. Also, I think it doesn't matter if I go in the evening or morning as long as the shop is quiet. I can see early morning may be 'cleaner' as fewer people have entered the shop on the day but evenings work better for my schedule.
I argued back to him that if I was selfish because I went shopping for family (and it happened only three times so far) he would also be selfish that he would go out for his exercise every single day. I had asked him to buy milk and bread on way home sometimes (then I don't need to go shopping so often) but so far he hasn't done this and always comes back home empty-handed. I think he thinks going to shop is high risk in general, but it's very early morning which is the time he thinks the safest to shop.... I have no intention to push anyone to do something they feel unsafe or uncomfortable so I had never ever complained about it. But last night I pointed this out too. At this point he wasn't listening to me so I am not sure how much he heard what I said.
This morning, I said 'good morning' to him but he ignored. Clearly he is still very angry. But I know he would happily eat whatever I prepare using the stuff I bought yesterday.
I understand he is only trying to protect us so his anger is coming from good intention but I feel he is forcing me what he believes best and zero understanding nor flexibility to try to see what I think fine to do. I wear a mask and gloves, clean all the items I bring into our family home, have a shower straight and wash all the clothes I wore outside. I think I am doing all I can to be responsible and at very least I go out to get what my family need not just for exercise to fulfil my need.
Am I missing anything here? How could I make him see my point? Or phahaps I need to understand his views more? Please tell me your thoughts! I may show DH this thread if needed...