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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think chilli for lunch and bolognese for tea is ok?

116 replies

okayokaywhatsnext · 22/04/2020 20:23

DH thinks too samey.

He took a container of bean chilli out of the freezer to take to work for lunch today to have with rice.

Dinner was bolognese with pasta and garlic bread.

He’s bloody moaned all evening that he’s eaten the same food for lunch and dinner and it’s somehow my fault. Despite dinner having been on the meal plan stuck to the fridge since Saturday which he could have read if he was really that bothered.

Plus - bean chilli with rice and bolognese with pasta aren’t that similar? The only ingredients in common are onions and tomatoes. He might have had more of a point if it was chilli with minced beef but it wasn’t.

OP posts:
pallisers · 22/04/2020 22:38

What is it with these men complaining about their dinners as if their wives/partners were a restaurant service or Mrs Bridges from Upstairs Downstairs?

OP, why wouldn't you just say "your dinner isn't my responsibility and it certainly isn't my fault if you don't like it. Fuck off and just say thank you when another human being puts a dinner in front of you"

Is he always an entitled dick?

Bluebooby · 22/04/2020 22:45

You cooked dinner, and even wrote down a meal plan so he knew what was coming. That is great organisation! He had the opportunity to read a meal plan and make his lunch choice accordingly, but he didn't. And he could have cooked his own dinner, but he didn't. He has NO right to complain. Did he even make his own lunch or was the chili one you'd made and frozen?

Kraejka · 22/04/2020 22:54

No sympathy for him. He sounds like a pain in the arse.
He should have checked the meal plan and chosen something else for lunch if he thought the meals were too similar.
What the fuck's wrong with people at the moment? There have been a few threads recently of someone (usually a 'D'H) moaning about the food on offer.
Fuck off and make your own meal if you don't like what someone else had spent time and effort making. My ex was like this but would he fucking cook for us both, would he fuck.

ElizabethMountbatten · 22/04/2020 23:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

BrummyMum1 · 22/04/2020 23:06

Today I ate cheese on toast for lunch and cheese on toast for dinner. That is what I’d call samey. Grin If I had someone to cook me nice homemade meals I’d eat the same bloody thing all week and not kick up a fuss!

BackforGood · 22/04/2020 23:19

Well, I wouldn't choose to have them for two meals in same day as I think they are too similar - I'd have had a sarnie or something for lunch if having bol for tea, etc.
However - as you seem to have a system whereby your dh knows what he will be eating that evening, then he has zero sympathy from me, for choosing to take something that he thinks is similar.

RedSoloCup · 22/04/2020 23:25

Wow!!

My husband would never moan he knows exactly what I'd say and it involves making his own food from now on but with more swearing 😮😮😮

Voice0fReason · 22/04/2020 23:26

I'd ask him what he is planning on cooking for the rest of the week.

Manyminieggs · 22/04/2020 23:31

My biggest grievance with this is they're both hefty meals! How can you eat two actual heavy full hot meals in one day?! I'd be asleep by 8pm in a good coma if I ate that!

PleaseStopSayingNewNormal · 22/04/2020 23:41

It's his own fault, since he apparently knew he could have checked the meal plan before selecting his lunch. If he was very demanding, he could have told you as he took out the chili that he'd like to swap tonight's meal with tomorrow's, if you were willing and able, but evidently he expected you to notice everything for him and know that he'd think the two meals were too similar. Hmm

Do you have a history of reading minds, OP? Wink

pollyglot · 22/04/2020 23:45

We have one good meal a day, around 2 pm, and an evening snack. So for example, a spag bol with lots of veg, and a cheese and tomato sandwich at about 8 pm. If I 'm going to have a particularly hefty day in the garden, I might have a slice of home-made bread for breakfast. It's amazing how few calories are needed when we're not going out to work. Meat twice a day would make me gag, but hey, chacun à son goût. He's an arse.

eaglejulesk · 22/04/2020 23:56

Don't like what's on offer - then cook your own meals. YANBU

eaglejulesk · 22/04/2020 23:57

Whoops - forgot to say, I would be more than happy with those meals in the same day. Yum.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 23/04/2020 00:11

I live by myself, and only have a small freezer - so if I buy mince, I cook a base with the mince, garlic, onions and tomato....
and then have chilli con carne, cottage pie, bolognese, and different variations thereof until its gone. One pack of mince will generally make around six portions, so it can get tedious by day three.

but one of your husbands didn't even have mince? HIBU

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2020 08:38

My biggest grievance with this is they're both hefty meals!

Surely that depends on the portion size? Small portion of veggie chilli and rice could easily contain the same or fewer calories than a standard sandwich type lunch, especially that included a bag or crisps or a chocolate bar.

ImFreeToDoWhatIWant · 23/04/2020 08:52

YABU to say that they're not similar - they definitely are. However YA absolutely NBU to be annoyed at the whining and sulking. He chose to do the chilli for lunch without looking at the meal plan so that's on totally him and I wouldn't be entertaining for a second his ridiculous whinging.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/04/2020 08:57

personally I think two cooked meals like that in one day is too much, one meal should be lighter, but he might need the calories etc

Does he have a desk job? That way of eating gets you fat quite fast

Where on earth do people come up with bollocks like this from? Bean chilli and rice is likely to have fewer calories than the commonly acceptable workday lunch of a sandwich and a bag of crisps, and is much healthier too.

I think it's unreasonable only because it's two 'hot' meals in one day

Why? What is wrong with two, or even three hot meals a day? I almost never eat cold food, due to preference and the hot food that I eat is generally better for me than cold, but the temperature that food is served has no bearing whatsoever on how heavy/light, big/small, healthy/unhealthy that food is, more the portion size and what the ingredients are.

20viona · 23/04/2020 08:58

He needs to cook for himself if he's got so much of an opinion.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/04/2020 08:59

If you're cooking you can have whatever you want, if you're not cooking you eat what you get

And this, ten times over. If he wants a choice in what he eats, if gets off his arse and cooks it, plus shops for the ingredients if necessary, and cleans up afterwards.

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2020 09:00

We have one good meal a day, around 2 pm, and an evening snack. So for example, a spag bol with lots of veg, and a cheese and tomato sandwich at about 8 pm.

Er, isn’t a cheese and tomato sandwich a pretty standard lunch meal for most people? I really don’t see how that’s different from what millions of people have every day (except eating them the other way around).

MN is so weird about food.

4amWitchingHour · 23/04/2020 09:15
  1. It's ok, especially as they weren't both beef, but tbh would be fine even if they were
  2. Even though he whinging over nothing, he's whinging over a situation he created as he didn't check the meal plan
SerenDippitty · 23/04/2020 09:51

Yesterday we had some left over chilli from the freezer for lunch with a bread roll. Then we had chicken stir fry with rice for dinner. That would make the I only have one hot meal a week crowd faint I’m sure. To be fair I usually have soup or a boiled egg or something for lunch.

user1471481356 · 23/04/2020 10:00

I wouldn’t eat them both in the same day. But he is behaving absolutely ridiculously! He can make dinner if he’s not happy. He should be thankful for 2 hot meals in one day, that he hasn’t had to make.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 23/04/2020 10:03

'Make your own fucking tea ...'

CaffiSaliMali · 23/04/2020 10:40

I've had chilli at work for lunch before followed by bolognese for tea. It's fine.

In our house chilli is quorn or soy mince with peppers, tomatoes, chillies, kidney beans and baked beans, served with rice or a jacket potato.

Bolognese is lentils (or a few teaspoons of veggie mince) with mushrooms, carrots and tomatoes, served with pasta and garlic bread.

Two very different meals. Even if both contained a bit of beef, they are served with different sides and are flavoured with different herbs and spices. Our chilli is flavoured with chilli flakes and powder. Our bolognese with basil and oregano.

OP's DH should have checked the evening meal plan before defrosting his chilli portion for lunch if he didn't want chilli and bolognese on the same day.