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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give DD money towards a holiday right now?

138 replies

Lasagnainmyhair · 22/04/2020 16:56

21yo dd’s friend has suggested going on holiday together with another friend when all that’s going on at the moment has calmed down, I brushed it off thinking it was just a suggestion that won’t get acted on. It has now turned from a passing comment to an actual plan that the other 2 have spoken to their parents about!! They’re planning a week at DisneyLand for spring next year.

Her birthday is soon and if lockdown does end after these 3 weeks it’ll only be a couple of days after so we’ll be unlikely to do anything so she has asked me and her dad if instead of celebrating we can give her some money towards the holiday, her dad has agreed straight away. I on the other hand am not keen at all as I think right now booking holidays is the last thing anyone should be thinking about and honestly with all that’s going on it’s a bit tone deaf, so I’ve told her I need to think about it.

They seem to have looked into this quite well, DD is seemingly very clever with these things and knows when she comes to me to ask for something I’m more likely to say yes when can she can show she’s properly looked into something. Hmm They’ve all said they’re not even going to think about booking until a month or 2 after they can all get together again so they can properly look into it altogether and the earliest they’d be looking to go is late March next year.

AIBU to not give her any money towards this?

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 22/04/2020 20:01

The idea that people should show their empathy by being miserable seems to be all too common and totally unhelpful.

Surely the important thing is to help when there is a chance to help and when not, to at least look after our own mental health and appreciate everything good that we have.

AnnaC2020 · 22/04/2020 20:01

It’s not like she’s going to shagaluf

TatianaBis · 22/04/2020 20:05

The time to book a holiday for March 2021 is the month before.

Anyone booking a holiday now is bananas.

We could have several waves of covid with travel disrupted for 18 months or so. Travel insurance won’t cover covid cancellations.

CCaK · 22/04/2020 20:33

Who cares what people might think?

You can't make decisions based on what people might think of you. Unless you're Hyacinth Bucket.

Standrewsschool · 22/04/2020 20:43

Regarding age, my 25 year niece just went to Disneyland and had a great time.

Fluffybutter · 22/04/2020 21:04

Also there are several rumours that Disneyland Paris will not reopen at all
This is absolute bullshit.

peperethecat · 22/04/2020 21:08

If you are going to give your daughter something for her birthday then why shouldn't it be money towards something that she wants?

A present is supposed to be about the recipient, not the giver.

heartsonacake · 22/04/2020 21:24

YABU. You shouldn’t be trying to hold her back because you’re worried about what people think. That’s a terrible message to send.

I love DLP and WDW, been to both several times, but I must say I couldn’t spend a week at DLP - there just isn’t that much there.

Roominmyhouse · 22/04/2020 21:42

New travel insurance policies will not cover you for corona virus as it is now a known risk.

This is what I would be worried about. I wouldn’t be considering booking anything for a while yet.

AcrossthePond55 · 22/04/2020 22:02

@Highonpotandused

The magic is there, you just have to be open to finding your own 'brand' of it.

I grew up in So Calif and have been to Disneyland CA over 200 times, as a child, as an adult, and as a parent. The 'magic' has never failed me. I've been to WDW twice (going again next year) and the magic is there, too. It's different than 'my' Disneyland, but it's still there.

Rhianna1980 · 22/04/2020 22:17

@TatianaBis

I’ve said this before but no one wants to have any of it.
We are locked in this effing misery until a vaccine is available.

You wouldn’t book a holiday when you are stuck in a middle of a war zone. This is not different.

Let’s see which companies will survive this economic crisis, oh never mind finding an insurance company that will cover you for covid 19.

Lauraa7 · 22/04/2020 22:21

I don’t get the tone deaf comment that you made op. Lots of people are thinking about holiday and what they want to do, it gives people something to look forward to.

Highonpotandused · 22/04/2020 22:33

@AcrossthePond55 thanks, maybe it was my state of mind that wasn't right at the time. 200 times is amazing, I hope they treat you like a VIP?!

heartsonacake · 22/04/2020 22:37

am I alone think it’s grossly overrated? I didn’t feel any magic at all.

@Highonpotandused Are you talking about DLP or WDW?

bananaskinsnomnom · 22/04/2020 22:38

Waves hand over here as women in her 30s who loves Disney and thinking about booking a trip next year after the depressing year this has been so far......and hides again......

To be fair, at 21 I still asked about holidays. I didn’t ask permission, I remember telling my dad (a well traveled person who also traveled for work) for advice - did he think that was a good price/good airline/good hotel - ask him to translate travel agent talk so to speak. Didn’t ask permission though, but bless him he always wanted a postcard and would buy me a bottle of factor 59 suncream Grin

bananaskinsnomnom · 22/04/2020 22:38

59? I meant 50, sometimes higher!

Highonpotandused · 22/04/2020 22:39

I meant WDW Orlando (sorry I called it Disneyland).

But I also went to DLP and didn't much like that either. It didn't help that we queued for 1.5 hours for a ride and then the ride broke Grin

heartsonacake · 22/04/2020 22:46

@Highonpotandused Right. Because I can see how someone might not feel the magic at DLP; it’s a lot smaller and there’s not much to do there, but WDW is a whole other ball game.

As I said, I’ve been to both several times, and with a bit of planning and research you don’t need to wait long for anything. I’ve never queued longer than 20 minutes for anything at either park.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 22/04/2020 22:51

I went to DLP without children, with my mates, and I can guarantee it’s a fuck of a lot more magical without wrangling children!

AcrossthePond55 · 23/04/2020 02:08

@Highonpotandused

They treat everyone like a VIP! Never had a bad experience at either DL or WDW.

Yep, over 200 times. But my Disneyland 'claim to fame' is that I was there on opening day. Just a baby, but I still claim it!

Ribrabrob · 23/04/2020 06:16

What a strange and controlling person you must be.

00100001 · 23/04/2020 09:05

I'd say at 21 .give her X amount for her birthday, tell her to open a second bank account... get her to put in there for savings. does she not save ANY money??

she's 21... not 4, she shouldn't need Mummy to look after her money in case she spends it on something else Confused

missnevermind · 23/04/2020 09:22

I think I would buy her a token 21st present. And give her an envelope with a fake cheque or iou promise for the money amount decided to be cashed at a later date when decisions can be made.

missnevermind · 23/04/2020 09:26

00100001 my 22 year old has just transfered me a large amount of money for me to look after for him. It would have been used for a holiday this summer but he is worried about spending it on takeaways and crap so wasting it. And has told me not to give it him back until they have organised a holiday for next year.

00100001 · 23/04/2020 09:35

missnevermind

I'd be propelry embarassed if my son said that to me, and hes 16! He's been saving for things he wants most of his life. And has some discipline to not touch those savings.

Can your 22 year old not find a savings account that ties away the money.... or have any modicum of self control? Confused

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