to think that it's rude to assume people's shortened name?

[Herts6789]

Semi lighthearted - i know there are bigger issues at the moment but being relatively new in my job and working from home seem to have exaggerated this!

At work my email address is my long name (that no one calls me except my mum)

My short name is not the default short name for this long name. I call myself my short name when I introduce myself and sign off every email with it. Its three letters its not hard and it's not an unusual name.

It annoys me when people who haven't met me email me with the wrong first name (they've just assumed it from my full name in the email address)
It annoys me even more when people who I have had several email exchanges with and introduced myself in person, still call me the wrong name!

I wouldn't dream of emailing someone called Susan 'Hi Sue' for example, unless they had called themselves Sue first.

I find it awkward to call out (but have done twice now in one week) and I also have asked work to change my email address to my short name but apparently they cant.

YANBU - it's rude to assume peoples names, or not take the care to address them the way they address themselves

YABU - I am being oversensitive

This happens to me too OP and really really winds me up. It’s just so rude! I used to either ignore it or be polite about it, now I am pretty blunt in correcting people - they obviously don’t care about being rude so neither do I!

I have the same issue. Drives me potty.

YANBU Some people assume my name is already shortened (it isn't) and use the long form (which is not and never has been my name).
I don't fuck about with people's names unless they invite me to.

I have a very ordinary name that can be shortened, lengthened and spelt in a few different ways. People get it right about 50% of the time on email, they're better in person though. I can't be that bothered by it. It's one of those things and happens to almost everyone in one way or another - whether it's shortening, spelling or pronunciation and it's not personal it's just the way people's brains work.

I have an unusual name and I take real care to address people properly. I emailed a customer who signed off Jennifer* earlier and for reasons I can’t explain, I started my return email ‘Hi Jenna’
I was so aghast when I realised that I emailed her an apology. *not real names
She laughed, but thanked me for apologising. There is one particular shortening of my name that I HATE and I will politely correct people once. If they do it again, I’m not polite.

Meh I wouldn't get too worked up about it

I also have asked work to change my email address to my short name but apparently they cant.

Of course they can. The real issue is that they won't.

YANBU it's so so rude! Happened to me all the time. I have a name with a common shortening... But I don't use the shortening. People just assume and call me by the short version. I correct people the first couple of times but some people just don't seem to be able to get out of the habit of using shortenings.
It's so rude as basically people are calling me by the wrong name and don't understand why I don't appreciate it.

So am I understanding correctly - e.g. your name is Elizabeth and you go by Liz, but people are calling you Betty? If so YANBU that's really annoying.

I have an unusual but not unheard of name, but it also has a spelling difference (think Farrha instead of Farrah - not my real name!) and it really annoys me when people respond to my emails with the 'usual' spelling. My spelling is right there in the email!!

Oh dear, sadly I knew I wouldn't be the only one! I find it quite jarring being addressed by a name which isn't mine as well. Hard to describe.

I find it annoying when people spell the shortened version of my name incorrectly, especially as it IS used in both my work and personal email addresses. It's not hard to quickly look at the email address and/or how I've signed off my email before you start typing.

I've almost missed out on two different job interviews because the admin person at each workplace had typed my email address with their own idea of how my shortened name should be spelled, rather than actually checking. My spelling isn't particularly unusual, either.

@artistformerlyknownas thats exactly correct except its 'Betty' i.e. the more uncommon version and people assume Liz. They are completely different names, and i certainly wouldnt assume either unless the person called themselves that name first!

I had it years ago - a Smug fucker I dealt with through work used to always call me ‘Susie’, when my email address clearly said my full name, and I introduced myself as my full name.

I got pissed off eventually and rang him and asked to speak to ‘Tony’. His assistant said she’d put me through and then, in a quietened voice said ‘but please don’t call him tony, he gets angry’. I replied that I’d stop calling him Tony when he stopped calling me Susie. When the call was transferred, he used my full name 😆

Happens to me too all the time. I don't use the standard short form of my name but people always assume and it drives me mad because I really dislike the standard short version. It just doesn't seem to sink in though. Hardly anyone uses the correct short version of my name.

My job is office based and the first email is always full name and if they respond with a shortened version then that’s what I use from then on. Otherwise it’s just rude. I might as well call someone called ‘Jane’, Barbara!

I have a very unusual foreign surname . When I worked for one employer where I had a very public role I was asked if I would change it to something easier to pronounce. I declined.

I have the opposite problem, I have a very short name lets imagine it’s Chris and I find in a professional sense people often call me Christopher.

I have taken a leaf out of my tactless four year olds book and now I correct people. I have even dared to ignore colleagues who call me ‘Christopher’ verbally.

Meh doesn’t bother me. I always use my full name- but everyone shortens it (to the point I find it odd if anyone uses the full version) does make me laugh at how many people assume the shortened name tho- it’s a good job I’m not offended

My friend has this issue - she has a very pretty but quite long Polish name with an obvious abbreviation (eg Magda, Aleks), which she doesn't use, and instead uses a three letter name that is completely different. Teams meetings with her close colleagues are fine, but she often gets people who don't know her call her by the abbreviation and she doesn't realise at first they mean her if it's a widely attended meeting.

If I didn't know someone I'd always use their full name as it is on their email address. Quite often it comes back signed from an abbreviation of that name and then i'd use it but i'd never assume as Susan was Sue or David was Dave etc.
I often get emails with my name spelt wrongly within the email and that really drives me mad because it's sitting there correctly in the "to" line!

People constantly get my name ever so slightly wrong. To the point where I never really got attached to it and don’t really care what people call me. On the odd occasion that someone chooses to shorten my name to it’s ‘official’ nickname (e.g. Becky for Rebecca) I don’t know how to react. On the one hand I don’t mind it, there’s definitely nothing rude about it but equally no ones ever called me that, nor am I a Becky type of person so I guess I just find it a bit weird, quite provincial even, but not rude.

Drives me mad too and I think it’s very disrespectful. My name is one where there is no real name shortened version so not a Catherine/Cathy/Katie or Elizabeth/Liz/Beth/Betty type name.

Let’s say it’s Sarah. I am Sarah, it’s my name, it’s what I like being called...so why do people insist on calling me Saz?!

First day at a new job, new boss “Saz, just grab me a coffee on the way back will you?”. Random girl I’ve never met at a wedding, “Saz, by the way I lurrrrrrvvvvve your dress”. Facebook comments “Nice cake Saz”.

Thing is it’s much worse than Saz because it’s a shortening with a less than flattering meaning - so Natasha/ Tache. Kirsten/Cursed etc.

And if I say “actually I prefer Sarah” I get told I’m being precious and my name is too much of a mouthful.

I would always address someone in the email with the name they had used and if it was my first time emailing them the name that appears in their email.

I.e. I’d email Samantha at samantha@whatever but if she was to respond and sign off as Sam moving forward I would call her that.

Isn’t this common sense? Anyone that doesn’t do this is super rude imo.

My boss’s son has this - goes by Ted, teacher calls him Edward. But he is Indian, and his name is actually Tejan, which she presumably knows very well if she has opened the register

This is a bit different but I usually go by the long version of my name (which isn’t long at all). to everyone but my family and very close friends who call me a shortened version. A name like Alice but close friends and family call me Al.

My boyfriend (now husband) introduced me to all his family and friends as ‘Al’ when we first met and I didn’t want to make a fuss so kept quiet and over the last decade it has spread so everyone calls me ‘Al’ and only work colleagues/new friends call me ‘Alice’ as that is how I introduce myself (because I actually prefer it!).

I should have just said something when it started. All my own fault!