to think that it's rude to assume people's shortened name?

[Herts6789]

Semi lighthearted - i know there are bigger issues at the moment but being relatively new in my job and working from home seem to have exaggerated this!

At work my email address is my long name (that no one calls me except my mum)

My short name is not the default short name for this long name. I call myself my short name when I introduce myself and sign off every email with it. Its three letters its not hard and it's not an unusual name.

It annoys me when people who haven't met me email me with the wrong first name (they've just assumed it from my full name in the email address)
It annoys me even more when people who I have had several email exchanges with and introduced myself in person, still call me the wrong name!

I wouldn't dream of emailing someone called Susan 'Hi Sue' for example, unless they had called themselves Sue first.

I find it awkward to call out (but have done twice now in one week) and I also have asked work to change my email address to my short name but apparently they cant.

YANBU - it's rude to assume peoples names, or not take the care to address them the way they address themselves

YABU - I am being oversensitive

I totally agree, I'm always careful to spell people's name correctly.

I'm not British born and I'm so tired of people misspelling my 5 letter super easy name.

I really think that some people think they get a free pass on misspelling BAME names.

My full name feels like I’m in trouble! However there is one nickname I HATE for my name, I hate hate hate it. A couple of people have taken it upon themselves to call me that and it gives me serious rage.

YES. I hate the shortened version of my name. I always introduce myself and sign off with my full name and yet so many people reply with Hi [short stupid version]. And I can't correct them over email without looking like a twat. It's a very common international name but also easily shortened like Elizabeth to Liz.

I find English people the worst offenders at this tbh, I think it's a cultural thing in Britan where most people seem to shorten their own name so everyone else assumes it's ok . I work with a lot of international clients and most Europeans and Americans do not do this.

I have a name that people haven't heard of, but is one letter off an English name. So I get called that quite a lot instead. I always correct them. Or they shorten it, which also is an English name.

Only my mum gets to call me the shortened name, everyone else will be corrected. It is rude to assume.

I will only call people by a shortened name if they have signed off in an email or introduces themselves that way. If they are commonly called that name by other people, I usually ask if they mind being called that.

I have a very common welsh name but now live in England. People constantly change my name to the English name. I always correct them. it drives me INSANE

I have the opposite, I have a long name that I never get called but have always gone by my short name. I have literally never introduced myself by my long name, but still, people who i know relatively well at work will still email to Dear Longname or introduce me as Longname in meetings etc. I think some people think they are being polite not assuming we are on shortname terms, but actually it riles me that they have never realised I never sign off with my full name!

I once mistook surname as their name. The surname was Victoria, I spent a long time calling them Victoria in emails and then a man called me up and said it's Victoria from the solicitors. 🤦‍♀️ Apparently they'd been very much enjoying it in their office and where seeing how long I'd carry on before noticing he signed his emails Andrew. Hmmm so I doubt people me particularly take much notice of how people sign their emails.

I

My name can be shortened in a number of ways. On official documents I call myself my full name, everyone knows me by a shortened version. However when I call the bank is the long version, some friends use one version of the short name, others smother, I cant get excited about it, they can call me what they want

I do tr6 and call people what they want though

My daughter has a name that could be an abbreviation (for example her name is Elizabeth, but we named her Lizzy) When I took her to visit primary school and meet the headmistress aged 4, she told my daughter she would call her Elizabeth. Daughter knew that wasn’t her name, and thought it was a game. She replied ‘and I will call you Moppatop’. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed. It was actually a compliment as my daughter was obsessed with a programme called Moppatops shop, and she’s genuinely never been a cheeky girl (other daughter is a different story).

Just call people the name they ask to be called. It’s not difficult.

My name is a fairly common two syllable name (think Mary) with no common shortening/nickname. People insist on just using the first syllable (so “Mar”) unprompted and it drives me potty! I’ve never introduced myself like that. My husband uses it affectionately and some mutual friends have picked it up from him but to use it from the first time we meet is just rude.

I can’t imagine living in the U.K. and having a name that is obviously of a different culture, it must be a nightmare. I work in a school with a majority BAME student body and I ask if I’m not sure, I’ve never offended anyone by asking! It’s better to ask than just call someone the wrong name because you can’t be bothered!

I have the opposite problem. I go by Bels and people assume I'm Bella, but I'm Arabella. Confuses them when I don't answer to Bella

I couldn't give a fuck. I like hearing the different variations of my name that everyone in my life uses. They're meaningful to them and there's nothing better than someone thinking enough of you to give you a nickname.

I hate it. It’s one of my biggest big bears ever.

I will always introduce myself as my full name. Friends eventually call me three letter derivative, but there’s also a 5 letter common nickname too- which I cannot stand being called.

Despite email addresses being full name, emailed signed off as such, and being introduced to people using full name, ive lost count of the times folk have signed off or called me the 5 letter nickname, which I NEVER get called, and make a point of asking people not to call me.

And if you politely point out ‘oh no sorry, my name is xxxxxx please don’t call me xxxx’ you’re the weirdo...

I never used the shortened version of my name until other people did. I got so used to it I prefer it slightly. Both the full and short versions are awful though so it makes very little difference.
I also have an ‘alternative’ spelling of my name which people get wrong on emails despite it being stated in my email address. I can’t get worked up about it but I can see why it’s enjoying

Ugh annoying

It used to really bother me. I worked with a woman once who called me by a shortened form of my name which I really didn't like. I didn't bother correcting her as I got the impression she wouldn't be working there for long. She didn't but we ended up getting on well enough to spend a lot of time together outside of work. The longer I left it the more impossible it became to correct her. We ended up living together and of course everyone that I met through her also called me that form of the name. I just got used to it in the end. Now I don't really mind what people call me!

It’s so rude. I have a long, traditional name and that’s the one I use. I can’t bear it when people arbitrarily shorten it (to various things). I find it really infantilising, and it’s just plain disrespectful to do so without being told to shorten it by the person concerned.

YANBU Some people assume my name is already shortened (it isn't) and use the long form (which is not and never has been my name)

Exactly this

And then to make matters worse some fucknuts INSIST that the long version is my actual name...but thats what your parents call you...thats whats on your birth certificate

(Not in professional circles obviously 😀)

I have a friend from school and I've always called her Susan because that is her name. Everyone who knows her calls her Sue, she even signs cards to me as Sue. Even though we've known each other 41 years I can't bring myself to shorten her name.

troys i had a friend like that

Me and her mum were the only ones who called her Katherine

Couldn’t change it

I hear you. I have a name that can be shortened as an affectionate kind of nickname to my friends and family, but is not a name in its own right (think Emily/Em rather than Alexandra/Alex). I get so many colleagues at work or people I've just met calling me a shortened name, such as Em or Ems, without asking. I sometimes wonder what I've signed myself off or introduced myself as!

I do flit between thinking it's nice that they're comfortable with calling me that, and wondering if it's just a touch over-familiar...?

I hate this too. Our work even has a policy of asking people what they wish to be called but still some dickheads have over the years tried to use a shortening of my name that is a common one but which I dislike. Now I just repeat my actual name after they use the shortening, in a neutral tone of voice.

@Sooverthemill you’re kidding!!!

I have found my people.
We are a global company and for staff located in different countries people's signatures/email addresses can be either firstname/lastname OR lastname/firstname, so sometimes its not always immediately apparent which name you should be addressing them by, but i always put the effort into figuring it out (looking back in the chain, asking around etc)
However about 50% of the emails i receive spell my name using the alternative spelling (Sort of like Rebeka/Rebecca)

@SharonasCorona
I really think that some people think they get a free pass on misspelling BAME names.

YUP. Pure laziness.