I think she’s lied about terminal cancer

[LockedInTheHouse247]

we were told a family member had terminal bowel cancer 6 years ago. We do not keep in contact as they are not nice people. I can’t go into detail as it may be outing!

So fast forward 6 years, family member is still alive, looks great. Last time we spoke 6 years ago doctors had told her it was her last Christmas

Without giving away too much a family home was being sold & this couple wanted 75% of the sale despite it being 50% in the will.

I can’t even believe I’m asking this, what are the chances of her lying to get us to give her 75% because we felt sorry for her?

Prepared for a grilling as it’s not a nice post but I can’t get my head around doctors telling her she has 6 months to live to being here 6 years later, living a normal life looking great!

Have any of you come across similar?

Have you asked her how she's managed to be cured? Also, did you end up giving her 75%?

Yep, I know a woman who ripped off loads of people by saying she was dying. Flitted to the other side of the planet when people started putting two and two together. Currently serving a community order sentence for nicking money from a food bank she was managing.

Did they get the 75%?
I can't understand the connection between the wanting more and terminal illness.
Any realtive that wants more surely is a chancer .
it could be they were told it's incurable and actually have lasted longer .
Not sure!

Sounds like they were told they couldn't be cured and that being the case it can be a few years before they get very ill. My aunt had ovarian cancer and was told she would have 5 years and that is roughly how long she got. Not sure why your relative would expect 75% from a sale of a property however.

It’s only just sprung to mind as it sounds awful I assumed she’d passed away. Then I saw her

They ended up getting an extra £20k plus they’d already had £150k as a gift

Bad things happen. People do them. I dont disbelieve that this could happen.

I don’t know whether they expected us to give more because in the near future her husband would be widowed & might need extra security/money

I had a relative with terminal lung cancer survive 3 years longer than expected! So it can happen sometimes... but doesn't mean it is what's happened in this case

I had a very good friend who lied about having terminal cancer. It devastated our friendship group but since it happened to us I’ve found out that lying about terminal cancer is weirdly quite - common isn’t the word but its not the vanishingly rare event you might think. At least 5 other people have told me that it’s happened to them. Awful.

I just don't understand the connection between having terminal cancer and you agreeing to give them more from the sale of the house?

Obviously that’s not to say your relative has lied, we can’t possibly know that. But people do do it.

Basically, I think they guilt tripped us. They have a young child. They said his income isn’t enough as a household income & they’d struggle. Then they said the deceased had agreed to give them more for various reasons. Maybe I’m being cynical here but I can’t help thinking they guilt tripped us to get an extra £20k

My brother and his girlfriend lied about her having stage 4 breast cancer, so yeah, some people lie.

So you think they're both in on it?

You do very often hear of people getting dire prognoses which don't come to pass.

You also do hear of people lying about cancer. A couple cooking up the lie in order to guilt trip their family would be pretty flabbergasting though - it's usually a single disturbed individual coming up with the lie, like that Belle Gibson.

Doctors don’t always get it right.
Some people with stage 4 cancer are told it’s terminal but they respond well enough to treatment such that it’s no longer terminal.

So it is not impossible that your relative was told they had terminal bowel cancer but then responded really well to treatment. It’s highly unlikely, but possible.

Was the 75% on the property to fund medical bills? Was there some aggressive treatment they needed to pay for?

This would be awful. It does sounds dodgy though, and people have done this before. Did they seem the sort who could lie this badly? As you haven't seen them in all that time, maybe they also presumed they'd never see you again so you'd just think she had died, which you did until you see her! Did she see you?

I know someone who was diagnosed with terminal leukaemia 9 years ago and they are still alive and believe it or not, fairly healthy. It’s classed as terminal as there’s no cure and he will die from it, eventually

As far as I can remember the doctor said they were stopping treatment. But that’s all I remember, maybe they looked into alternative options ?

No, they said they wanted extra for

their child’s inheritance despite him not being in the will.
Reduced income due to the diagnosis
Repairs done to the house they couldn’t prove
6k was agreed with the deceased but not put in the will (this was money just for them - no specific reason)

That’s all the reasonings they gave

@PlanDeRaccordement

My aunt was diagnosed with myeloma and was told that best case scenario, she has 18 months. 9 years later (and having survived a heart attack and two bouts of breast cancer) she was still going strong. I remember once going to visit on a Sunday morning, about 4 years post diagnosis, for her to tell us she was sorry, she was going to bed as she'd been up all through the night decorating! She passed away 3 years ago, almost a decade after being told 18 months was best case.

Admittedly was basically a superwoman though, genuinely never met anyone like her, but it does happen!

I know someone who had terminal cancer and lived a good few years afterwards with palliative chemo and some other treatment.

It's obviously a vile thing to lie about if that's is what happening. But unless you have proof they are lying, you also obviously can't say anything!

I’m reluctant to give specifics in case it’s outing.

Yes the type to bleed someone dry, prior to the death they tried to get the deceased to sell the home & invest it in there’s.
They’d already had £150k for holidays, cars, caravans etc.
Debts to be paid.

They’d bled the deceased dry there was £250k for two siblings when the deceased died there was £40k left which was split between the two of them so they got another 20k

My husband has metastatic cancer and is still working full time- looks healthy and no one would ever know-?tbh we forget ourselves until another hospital appointment is due.Outwardly he behaves and looks just the same(and long may it continue).

I guess you know noone on here can really tell you the answer! It's plausible that she's lived longer than expected, it's also plausible that they lied (or exaggerated) to get the money. Might be one you have to file away and accept you'll never really know the truth. £20k is a lot of money, but it's not worth winding yourself up over.

I’m being thick here, if she’s dying, why would she need 25% more of the estate?
The will is the law. She can’t get any more.
Is she trying to make the rest of the family feel awkward? If so, just say no.

I think it'll be easier for you to judge than us about whether they'd be prepared to lie to get more money. Obviously it would be a pretty horrific thing to do but if they're awful people then sure they might stoop that low.