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Original poster

I think she’s lied about terminal cancer

82 replies

LockedInTheHouse247 · 21/04/2020 22:10

we were told a family member had terminal bowel cancer 6 years ago. We do not keep in contact as they are not nice people. I can’t go into detail as it may be outing!

So fast forward 6 years, family member is still alive, looks great. Last time we spoke 6 years ago doctors had told her it was her last Christmas Confused

Without giving away too much a family home was being sold & this couple wanted 75% of the sale despite it being 50% in the will.

I can’t even believe I’m asking this, what are the chances of her lying to get us to give her 75% because we felt sorry for her?

Prepared for a grilling as it’s not a nice post but I can’t get my head around doctors telling her she has 6 months to live to being here 6 years later, living a normal life looking great!

Have any of you come across similar?

OP posts:
Original poster
LockedInTheHouse247 · 21/04/2020 22:49

I’m not angry over it I’m more shocked! If this was a lie, I’ll be so shocked! This happened 6 years ago they’ve had the extra £170k now. They’ve probably spent it. I was just so shocked to see her

OP posts:
Lolxx · 21/04/2020 22:50

My gran was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer years ago & was told she might not make it to Christmas (this was like the September). After treatment she survived for a further 3 years. Just because an illness is terminal doesn’t mean you can’t live with it for years, terminal just means incurable.

lyralalala · 21/04/2020 22:50

It depends on the circumstances. 6 years is a lot if they were told death would be soon.

A friend of mine was given 6-9 months, but responded so well to one of the treatment that stopped the spread that she actually got 3 years, and she was "well" (active, but tired easier) for the bulk of the time she was on that particular treatment.

It depends what they were told about their prognosis. Terminal just means no cure.

Original poster
LockedInTheHouse247 · 21/04/2020 22:51

I am starting to really think they’ve lied. She was given 6 months to live. From what I remember it was either ovarian spread to bowel or bowel spread to ovaries. If I see her again I will ask her how her treatment is going

OP posts:
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 21/04/2020 22:54

My nan was given 24 hours. The hospital advised us she may not last the night. 18 months later she was still alive and very much kicking.

ElloElloVera · 21/04/2020 22:55

My MIL has had every type of cancer going. She announced her terminal diagnosis to the whole family and reduced them to tears 20 years ago. She’s still alive and still every word out of her mouth is a lie.

Now she’s claiming she has Covid and all the family are just like ‘meh’ ... she’s made her bed and when the time comes that she actually is terminally ill she’ll be lying in it alone due to all the lies.

slipperywhensparticus · 21/04/2020 23:01

My ex lied and claimed the doctors believed he had testicular cancer needed an "urgent scan" on the day I needed to take a test (very important and booked on "his day" so I would have no issues with childcare) I was so surprised (and suspicious if I'm honest) I said it's your day you sort your own childcare I'm busy years later it's never mentioned again although now he isnt working due to "bad knees" he can still run a car with a clutch though so .guessing thats fake too

My point is you might have a point people are not always nice and will lie

Although on judge rinder there was a chap that was given 18 months max in 2013 and was still alive 2019 they did have loads of medical issues though so not living life to the full

Inkpaperstars · 21/04/2020 23:04

I know someone who was told to prepare for their last Christmas twenty years ago, it does happen but in this case maybe not.

BritWifeinUSA · 21/04/2020 23:10

There have been cases where people have beaten the odds. A cousin of mine was given a few months to live but lasted almost 2 years. He was very into herbal supplements and often said that he believed in natural health more than modern medicine. It could be coincidence he outlived the prediction, it could be down to the herbal remedies he took. We will never know. I will say that although he was alive, he was most obviously ill. Even if you didn’t know him you would think something was not right. He was thin and slow in his movements. He lived longer than expected but not the life he had been living before.

Doctors occasionally get it wrong but not usually that much - there’s a huge difference between “6 months left to live” and being fit and looking great 6 years later. Even if she’s had aggressive treatment (although terminal usually means treatment is withdrawn) it would be so harsh that she likely would look different. Older? Thinner? Just generally exhausted? Something like that.

sestras · 21/04/2020 23:12

Could be incurable cancer. Lots of people have that and live for 10+ years

Original poster
LockedInTheHouse247 · 21/04/2020 23:13

@BritWifeinUSA she looked great, not lost or gained weight. Obvs she’s aged a little as it has been 6 years but I wouldn’t look at her & think she’s unwell at all.

Some crazy stories on here! But some really nice positive ones too Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
LockedInTheHouse247 · 21/04/2020 23:17

I’m going to put out what I think I remember

Diagnosed 8 years ago with cancer ovarian or bowel

Operation performed 1 year later, and diagnosed with bowel or ovarian cancer

Then 1 year later it was terminal & she has 6 months to live & it would be her last Xmas as treatment had stopped

OP posts:
Unmentionablesandfluff · 21/04/2020 23:22

My ex fiancé did this. I moved abroad and started a new relationship. Told his parents, friends, employer etc that he had terminal leukaemia. He contacted me and asked me to come home ‘for the last few months’. I wavered but said no. About a week later got panicked phone calls from parents, he’d been busted and went AWOL. Turns out he’d planned to commit suicide and thought that as he supposedly had cancer there would be no investigation. He went on to marry a nurse from the hospital who looks like my older sister.

So very, very possible they lied to scam you.

Sammymommy · 21/04/2020 23:35

You can give us all the details you want, no one here ca tell you if she lies.

I wouldn't let that go. Lying to get money is a fraud. Can you be sneaky and ask her husband news of her/how her skin/throat cancer is evolving as you have had her on your mind lately but don't want to ask her to not upset her 9phrased better than that)? See if he corrects you and what he has to say about it?

Or do you know someone who knows them and would know that kind of things?

JaniceBattersby · 21/04/2020 23:53

I work for a newspaper. This is so incredibly common. Its absolutely shocking.

We can’t usually do the stories unless it goes to court because it’s so difficult to prove a negative and obviously we can’t speak to doctors who have ‘treated’ the patient etc but I get at least one call a month about this kind of scam. They start off with a little lie for the attention usually, then people stat raising money for them and they just slide right on into the role.

We’ve had people taking drugs to make them lose weight and be sick, people shaving their heads, all kinds. We are often tipped off by medical professionals who aren’t treating the patient but spot inconsistencies in their stories.

SonjaMorgan · 22/04/2020 00:07

It is all probability. If you have terminal cancer and told you have 6months to live there is a tiny chance you will still be alive in 6 years time. There are also mistakes made everyday by drs and hospitals. I knew a lady who went through a full hysterectomy and chemo only to find out later there was an admin error and she never had cancer.

2Rebecca · 22/04/2020 00:13

It sounds as though at the time of the will you should have abided by the will and told this woman you'd look at supporting her child when the time comes although presumably her husband is of working age and could support the child. Too late now though. Wills often bring out the worst in people

pleasenomorechocolates · 22/04/2020 00:14

My DF was given six months to live, stage 4 cancer spread to multiple parts of the body. He is still here 5 years on, he responded tremendously to treatment. I do appreciate this is a rare occurrence. I hope you haven’t been lied to OP Flowers

UniversalAunt · 22/04/2020 00:17

Some people just need to lie or confabulation.
If they have any previous form in any shape or size, then I’d take everything they say with a monster grab of salt, particularly where any financial gain may occur.

Fruitbatdancer · 22/04/2020 00:18

My aunt had people fly in from round Europe to help her recover from an awful hysterectomy. She had 6 weeks in bed recovering, bills were paid, children were looked after, recuperation holidays were gifted/ paid for.
2 years later my cousin was born.
I shit you not. Some people are batshit.

Babyroobs · 22/04/2020 00:21

There are new treatments coming out all the time that can prolong people's lives. In my line of work I see a lot of patients with metastatic cancer who have had remarkable results with Immunotherpy and have lived well past the time frame they were original given.

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/04/2020 00:24

Bowel, some kinds of breast, and skin cancer can benefit from life prolonging treatments (sometimes indefinitely). It’s not uncommon

StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight · 22/04/2020 00:28

The exW of my DP had terminal cancer and 6 months to live. Despite not a single hospital appointment or any treatment she is still doing well 2 years on. Sometimes people say bad things for attention.

Original poster
LockedInTheHouse247 · 22/04/2020 00:34

@Sammymommy unfortunately I don’t know anybody who knows them. But when/if I see them again I will ask how treatment is going & ask what treatment she is currently on as it must be working really well if she is genuine

OP posts:
WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 22/04/2020 00:38

Dps auntie was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer soon after my DD was born........she died last year. 20 years after diagnosis.