To think DD would be safer with family than at school?

[cg88]

Both myself and DH are classed as key workers and so are both working at the moment. DH is in daily whereas I work in a school and am on a rota which is currently once a week. Up until now dd (age 5) has been coming into work with me on the days I'm in, I'm in a small school and we only have up to 5 kids in at a time compared to her school which is bigger and has 12-20 in at a time. This has been fine over the Easter holidays because not much has been expected from us work wise but now we're back into term time we have much more involvement with home learning and it's just not feasible (or professional) to be contacting parents whilst DD needs attention, which she does....all the time!
Her school will allow her to attend the days I'm working but AIBU to think actually it would be less risk to take her to my Mum's? Less people, my Mum isn't in the high risk category and would be more than happy to have her, what are people's thoughts?

Whether you want to, or your Mum is happy to, she can't go to your Mum's as you can't mix households. End of.

I completely get that, and have stuck to this 100% up until now, but I can't help thinking exposure to 1 other person is far less risk than exposure to up to 20 other kids plus however many staff are there too?

I agree YANBU and it makes far more sense for your mum to have her. I realise the rules are there to stop people carrying on willy-nilly as they were before, but I personally believe a bit of common sense can be applied in circumstances such as this.

Everyone seems to be prioritising rules over logic right now. Providing your mum doesn’t have contact with a vulnerable person and understands the risks I’d take her to your mum’s quietly. Loads will disagree with me!

You are right. Common sense should be applied here. One rule does not fit all as we are finding out with all aspects of this.

I don't think everyone is @HibiscusPot
Just a vocal holier-than-thou judgy minority.

Fair enough @arethereanyleftatall, it just feels that way!

I would take her to your mums as long as she is happy to get her and any sign of illness, you all stay home. A wee bit of common sense goes a long way

Going to work and taking your child with you is mixing households, it's unavoidable for a most keyworkers. Your plan minimises the risks to your family. It increases the risk to your mum but that is her decision to make.

To be honest I agree with your reasoning and think it is okay.

What would put me off is the length of time. You could send your daughter to your mum’s, but then she would need to stay there until the end of lockdown. Which may not be until September. I couldn’t be away from my DC for that length of time.

It would be different if your DD could travel back and forth between home and your DM’s, but obviously that does nothing to mitigate the risk to DD and puts your DM at much higher risk...

@LadyPenelope68 oh but you can mix households if the government say in certain situations it's ok

I definitely feel safer with my DC being with DM. But it does seem like risky for your DM.

I'll give you my example - I'm a key worker, mostly from home, but have to leave the house for 2hrs a day. I've decided that its safer to leave my sensible 10 year old at home when I'm out. She has her phone and her gran is face timing her on a regular basis to make sure she is ok until I get back home. Not ideal but better for us than her going to our local school where I think she would be more at risk.

Except that sending her to your mum puts your mum at risk too. You are at risk because you are in contact with other children and adults in school. Therefore your daughter is at risk because she is in contact with you, regardless of whether or not she comes to school with you. By sending her to your mum's, you increase your mum's risk as she is in contact with your daughter, who is contact with you.
I think you should follow the rules. Your daughter should be at home or at school with you.

If your mum is your DD's regular childcare then it's completely within the rules.

My point is that you have to do what is right for your family and your circumstances. Your mum presumably is a sensible woman capable of making her own decisions, isn't over 70 and isn't in the vulnerable group? If so if she is happy then do that.

I understand and agree with your reasoning OP. I think it's less risk all round tbh

It increases your mum's risk but I'd say lowers yours and DDs risk so if everyones happy i think its reasonable. I would continue to use my parents for childcare if they weren't high risk.

My DCs go to my mum while I'm at work, one school age, one pre-schooler. I could send DC1 to school (nursery is closed) but I'd say common sense means it's better to mix with less people than more surely? YANBU.

Oh hang on, have I misunderstood? I assumed you meant DD go to stay with your DM permanently until lockdown ends. But you just mean taking her round there every day? No you can’t do that.

Also that doesn’t protect your DD - if you are exposed, then come home to the same house she’s in, then she gets exposed too. It just exposes your DM to any infection in your workplace as well.

If your mum is happy to do it then that is clearly the better solution. I think this schools and nurseries being open thing is truly nuts frankly. So much better to have those kids with family where possible instead of creating unnecessary breeding grounds.

If she would otherwise be going to her own school it is less social mixing . The only increased risk is to your mum, as long as she had made the decision it’s ok it is actually the lower risk option.

And all these people saying it exposes the mum to it, well yes it does, but if she isn't vulnerable then at some point if she wants to see her daughter and grandchild in the next couple of years, she is going to be exposed to it it. This is spreading out the exposure, not stopping the exposure. I reckon given the key worker is already taking one for the team, she should be able to choose her own childcare.

I’m in the same situation. One at primary one at nursery. It makes much more sense to send them to my mum who lives 10 seconds away than to nursery and schools mixing with a lot more people. My mum would also have to pick them up anyway as I work past school closing time! She’s my regular childcare, under 70 and not shielding. It feels like safest option, she’s very happy. If I don’t go to work I don’t get paid. It’s not as simple as stay at home for some people unfortunately.

However I am getting snotty comments from others for it, it seems common sense is being lost amongst people.