To think DD would be safer with family than at school?

[cg88]

Both myself and DH are classed as key workers and so are both working at the moment. DH is in daily whereas I work in a school and am on a rota which is currently once a week. Up until now dd (age 5) has been coming into work with me on the days I'm in, I'm in a small school and we only have up to 5 kids in at a time compared to her school which is bigger and has 12-20 in at a time. This has been fine over the Easter holidays because not much has been expected from us work wise but now we're back into term time we have much more involvement with home learning and it's just not feasible (or professional) to be contacting parents whilst DD needs attention, which she does....all the time!
Her school will allow her to attend the days I'm working but AIBU to think actually it would be less risk to take her to my Mum's? Less people, my Mum isn't in the high risk category and would be more than happy to have her, what are people's thoughts?

My DB and his DW are key workers and leave their 2 DC with my DM. They phoned to enquire as one is a baby so obviously cant go to school and were told it was ok.

OP said she's taking DD into school with her, once a week.

She has been, but no longer can because the holidays are over and her workload is much higher

She said she will have to start taking her daughter to her own school now which is where the dilemma is.

I think people are missing that DD will be going to a different school than OP. She was going into work with OP during the holidays, but this isn't feasible now the holidays have ended, so she will be going into her own school, with a whole new set of exposure points.

Otherwise I think there's a major lack of critical thinking going on. If DD is infected and asymptomatic, going to her GM's means infecting one person, who has contact with no-one. If she goes to school, she will be infecting a class full of children plus teacher, who then go home to their key worker parents, who then come inti contact with members of the public. And vice versa - GM is one single exposure point for DD, versus multiple children, some of whom may have parents who are frontline NHS.

And yet because it's breaking "the rules", potentially infecting one person is spreading the virus more than infecting multiple children, key workers, members of public, and so on down the chain?

Op was taking her daughter to school with her, she can't do that now so her options are either send dd to her school with 20 other children or take her to her DMs.

Op do what you need to do to minimize the risk. My sil is taking her DS to MIL 3 times a week so she can work, if she couldn't do that she wouldn't be able to work, so what's the alternative? Common sense must apply.

EmotionalFlood there are still very few deaths in under 40s with no underlying health conditions, looking at the Worldometer statistics. The vast majority of recorded deaths of any age have been people with underlying health conditions.

Could you tell your school that you will work from home rather than being on the rota?

So reducing the risk to your daughter but increasing the risk to your mum?!

You are aware that swathes of under 60s have died aren't you?

Surely, the better option would be to manage your daughter in a better manner?

I wfh as a norm, and my 5 year old is well versed in knowing when I am on frequent conference or telephone calls that I am not to be interrupted unless its a genuine issue, like someone at the door etc.

It's not that difficult. And I don't see how Risking your mum is the best option at all.

And let's be fair, your daughter comes into contact with you even if she's not at school, so you carrying the virus to her, your mum gets it too.

Have you not seen whole families that have been hit with deaths?

it Increases the risk for your mum though, doesn’t it?

I think YANBU. Some of the "rules" aren't logically the best way to keep everyone safe. In some circumstances (like this) it would be more logical to have contact with fewer people and let her go to your mums. The whole point of it is to slow the spread so the fewer people we have contact with the better. If I were in your position I'd take her to my mums too

Roughly 50% of the deaths are over 80 and about 40% were 60-79 years old, so 10% under 60 approximately. And it seems that most of the reported deaths in under 60s are those with underlying health conditions. There are also many reported incidences of over 80s surviving with it. There is no need to be so dramatic.

@WeirdAndPissedOff this is exactly how I think too. It's logical, surely!

She is not sending her daughter to her mums when she is working from home though, it’s the day she has to work so the option is either her mum ( fit/ healthy under sixty) or her daughters school ( twenty kids, several adults of unknown age/ health)

If your Mum is happy with it, send her there.

I think as long as you're mom understands you're exposing her to everyone you've been in contact with and everyone your husband has been in contact with.

And accept that her neighbours may well report her

The neighbours can report her all they like. She's not doing anything illegal.

You're dd is at far less risk from getting really sick than your mum. I do think it's a little strange that you worry she'll be seriously I'll but assume that your mum won't be.

ill

It’s not selfish but it’s not exactly fair on your mother either Who is now being put at risk from your daughter

By manage her in a better way what are you suggesting? If your 5 year old is able to sit and occupy themselves and understand not to interrupt you when you’re on the phone then that’s fantastic, hats off to you. But my 5 year old needs constant attention, and having to tell her to play nicely on her own instead of giving her that attention doesn’t seem fair when her entire life has been thrown upside down.

Working from home is what I am doing 4 days a week but I am required to go in 1 day a week to care for other key worker children and those on the child protection register.

My Mum is happy to expose herself to the risks, she is fully aware, and yes it is a worry, at no point have I suggested I’m happier to put my Mum at risk than I am my child but at the same time this seems to be the more common sense approach in terms of preventing the spread of the virus which is the whole reason we’re on lockdown in the first place.

Are you talking about sending her out when you are working from home? Because that is absolutely nuts.
Regarding the rota day, I wouldn't send my child in either, I can go on the rota as dh can have the dc, in your case I would not go on the rota and lots of parents I work with aren't either. Once a week is quite a lot I wonder how they've organised it.

No absolutely not suggesting I send her on the days I work from home, that would be stupid! Purely on the 1 day I am physically in work. Not going in on that 1 day is not an option.

It's a private school? As I don't think you'd be forced in otherwise, in the circumstances. I know you say it's not an option but that can mean different things to different people.
Is your school operating as a centre, ie with a mix of dc from different places in so there might be a primary group as well?
Your dh can't be around? I can see why you want to use your mum but I can't get round the thought of "what if everyone did that".

It’s alright to judge when you’re wfh or a sahm. I can’t work from home nor will I get paid if I don’t go to work. Nursery/school don’t fully cover the times I work. What am I meant to do with my children exactly.

It’s not selfish at all. Some people are being forced into making difficult decisions like this. That is behind anyone’s control. Instead of judging everyone else just be grateful you’re okay and don’t have to make them.

Why can she not continue to go in with you in that day? All my colleagues are taking their children in on the day they are working if they don't have anyone nenat homemto look after them.
Alternatively, your DH could WFH on the day you go into school.