To think DD would be safer with family than at school?

[cg88]

Both myself and DH are classed as key workers and so are both working at the moment. DH is in daily whereas I work in a school and am on a rota which is currently once a week. Up until now dd (age 5) has been coming into work with me on the days I'm in, I'm in a small school and we only have up to 5 kids in at a time compared to her school which is bigger and has 12-20 in at a time. This has been fine over the Easter holidays because not much has been expected from us work wise but now we're back into term time we have much more involvement with home learning and it's just not feasible (or professional) to be contacting parents whilst DD needs attention, which she does....all the time!
Her school will allow her to attend the days I'm working but AIBU to think actually it would be less risk to take her to my Mum's? Less people, my Mum isn't in the high risk category and would be more than happy to have her, what are people's thoughts?

Yes just to clarify I mean dropping DD off with my Mum for the time I'm in work. DM is under 60, fit and healthy and lives alone so hasn't been in contact with anyone since lockdown began.
She would usually pick DD up from school and have her while I am in work a few days a week so she is regular childcare.
I think my mind is made up and I will take her there once a week for the hours I am in school, it just feels like the least amount of risk for DD and although potentially means more risk to DM I am confident she is far from being in the at risk category.
Thanks for the reassurance, although this feels like common sense in my head everything is very unclear at the moment.

People saying you can't send her to DM as mixing households are speaking nonsense. Common sense for goodness sakes .

You daughter going to her grans is a far lower risk of spreading virus than attending a separate school to which you work in

If you catch CV , and pass it to your daughter and she goes to grans house - you have infected 2 people

If you infect daughter and she goes to her school she can potentially infect way more people

The risk is massively lower by using your mum to look after her.

Send her to your mum

Just to add another spin onto this. Being under 60 and healthy doesn't mean she isn't at risk... the lowest age for death is 5 years old... many in their 20s and 30s had no underlying health conditions, so everyone is at risk of dying from this. You could still transmit covid to your daughter, who would then infect your mother (not passing judgment), we're staying away from my mother who's in her 40s and grandparents who are in their 60s because I'm a key worker and would rather not infect anyone if possible.

DMil is looking after DD now and then. There is no perfect solution just whatever you consider to be the least risky. DH and I are both key workers. We’ve swapped shifts around where possible and haven’t sent DD to school at all. But anyway we work unsociable hours so school would not cover it.

Go home and shower and change first. Then you are making the risk even smaller.

Your OP is interesting. We are both key workers, being discouraged from allowing our children to attend school because the teachers don’t really want them there. We are both nhs.

Currently finding it impossible to wfh with kids needing attention, as you describe.

I would do what you are proposing. It's the least risk to everyone except your Mum. If she is healthy and happy to take that risk I don't think that's a worse option than risking the 2/3/4 adults at her school that your DD will come into contact with.

We have SIL's kids staying with us for the moment as she works in ICU and because of the risk level she's chosen to leave them with us. I think in the next couple of weeks the time apart (they often spend a week or two with us in the holidays so it's not really bitten yet) will start to prove a strain and then we'll all have a decision to make.

It's a no brainer - leave her with your mum.

Yes leave with your mum, children can move between some households e.g split parents and I don't see a difference. She'd be better at your mum's if you are both happy with that

Is your dh always working on your rota day OP? I am in the same position as you but DH wfh and is just about able to take over on my rota day. I have to say my 5yo understands I need to make calls the rest of the time and we manage. And on the rare occasions he forgets - like yesterday when he interrupted a call to a parent - she was extremely understanding, as everyone now is working from home around looking after children!

So your mum is in her 50s?

I wouldn’t increase her risk like that. DC are at much, much lower risk of people in their 50s of serious illness/death from covid.

Your mum would be caring for a vulnerable person so YANBU

I think it's far safer for her to be with 1 extra person instead of even a relatively small class.
Also we were advised that schools were staying open as a last resort for key worker children. If your mum can safely and happily care for her without putting her own health at risk it makes sense.

Her mum wouldn’t be caring for a vulnerable person, unless have missed that?

I would just send her to your mums. Im also working in a school but luckily DH is at home to have DS2. If I was in your position and my mum was able I would have sent him there rather than mixing with loads of other children in the school.

Sometimes I really don't think some people understand that this lockdown isn't to stop people from getting it full stop...it's to slow the spread. At some point it's likely that the OP, her mum and her daughter will get as will we all no doubt so a little common sense is needed. Surely it's better to risk possibly infecting 1 other people than several.

I'd leave her at your mums

In all honesty there might be virus related repercussions of you taking her to your mum's but there's basically zero enforcement of these rules where i live so i'm not sure what the posters saying you "can't" think is going to happen if you do take her to your mums! The police have already told people to stop reporting each other for minor infringements.

You would be putting your mum at risk. Your daughter could easily be an asymptomatic
carrier . Very selfish

I would do what you're proposing.

Ok I’ll take the selfish comment, but would you prefer that my asymptomatic child infect 20 other people, including children of critical NHS staff meaning they would have to isolate?

Your DD is no more at risk going to your dms than going into school with you, as you are in school. You are the risk in this scenario. Your DD is just as likely to catch the virus as you are, andnthen pass it on to your dm.
The staff in my school are not on the rota for going into school (1 day a week) if they have children under 5.
You can easily contact parents by email, as our staff are. SLT are phoning parents up weekly from school as we are not allowed to use or own phones to do so due to safeguarding. The rest of the contact is via email and Dojo.
One other thing is that your DD may actually enjoy going to school meeting up with other children. Don't forget that if she goes to your dms she can't go out so could easily become bored.

I’m not sure it is selfish, to be fair I’m actually sure it’s not. Like you said infecting one person over 20? That would have a far bigger impact on society, the selfish thing to do would actually say sod everyone I am keeping my family safe. ( I wouldn’t necessarily criticise anyone for that either completely understandable) There is a risk with both options and the smaller risk is with your mum. It’s rubbish we are having to make these choices but unfortunately we have no choice.

Not sure why you even bothered posting. You are clearly going to bend the guidance to suit yourself, so why ask for opinions? It's idiots like you who think it's ok to change the guidance to suit themselves that are helping this virus spread further.

Just checking everyone has read, the OPs daughter would not be going to school with the OP, they would be going to their own school. Unless I have completely misunderstood, that is where the risk is.

would you prefer that my asymptomatic child infect 20 other people, including children of critical NHS staff meaning they would have to isolate?

If she did have the virus, she will have most likely got it from one of the children in school, or from you, so that argument doesn't make sense.

Just checking everyone has read, the OPs daughter would not be going to school with the OP, they would be going to their own school. Unless I have completely misunderstood, that is where the risk is

OP said she's taking DD into school with her, once a week.