Or is DH overreacting?

[Flimflamfloogety]

I'm currently furloughed, but my husband is working from home therefore I'm doing all of the homeschooling for our 4yo.

We all got up at the same time this morning, husband puts on his laptop then buggers of the loo for half an hour whilst I make breakfast for DS. Whilst DS is eating I put a load of laundry on. DH comes out of the loo and starts his work. Whilst DS is still eating and the washing machine is going I get showered and dry my hair. I get DS dressed brush teeth etc and do the homeschooling (various tasks set by the teacher). This takes us up until 12.

In this time husband has made himself some breakfast, done 1 hours facetime with his mother who is alone in India and fired off some emails.

I let DS have a break from the school work and grab myself a belvita breakfast bar. Literally the second my arse hits the sofa DS pipes up "what is that, can I have some?". I tell him no, but I'll make him lunch if he's hungry. Then husband butts in (from the exercise bike - not doing his work btw) "just let him have some, what's wrong with you?"

I explain I haven't eaten yet, can I please just have one measly breakfast bar in peace and husband massively kicks off. Offers to get DS one of my bars (I'm trying to lose weight and usually just have a bar for breakfast), I ask him not to as they're running low. Husband then decides, that he's going to the shops with DS to stock up on their own food that I'm not allowed to have. They've just left now and I know husband will deliberately buy stuff that he knows I like (when I usually ask him to grab me stuff with specific instructions he'll come back with something completely different)

Who is being unreasonable here?

Usually I'll share food with DS, but I hadn't eaten yet and I was going to make him lunch anyway. Was I unreasonable to expect to be able to eat my breakfast without anyone else picking at it?

I would be very worried about his undermining/belittling you.
Doesn't make for healthy family dynamics and needs addressing.

It's actually disturbing to see the number of posters who are discovering that their partners are not on their side. I distinctly remember the exact moment when I realised a relationship was effectively over - after more than a decade of happiness and a few months of misery - my soon to be ex partner dropped and broke something he cared about and I felt a sudden fillip of triumph. Was horrifying.

Your husband is going out of his way to frustrate and upset you. What is worse, he is trying to alienate your son from you - which I would find unforgivable.

Is your husband usually this nasty and horrible???
What an appalling lesson he is teaching your son. If it's his birthday tomorrow, I'd struggle to do anything nice for him to be honest and I'd be telling him to make his own dinner tonight or eat some of the chocolate he bought!

Totally missing the point of the post. I don’t understand why you had breakfast at 12? Sounds like you’re being a bit of a martyr to be honest.

You are married to a misogynistic pain in the butt who does not respect you at all and is trying to undermine you and make you feel bad.

He is now trying to train your son to think about you and treat you in the same way.

I’m very sorry for you, but please have a serious think about that. 💐

to stock up on their own food that I'm not allowed to have

When they return say "so you and ds have your own food, great. I'll get him to come to you for it whenever he needs a meal or snack"

Then go take yourself off for a long bath and leave him to it.

What this idiot going to turn your son into...?

I actually have a tiny degree of sympathy with your OH but only in that I don't think it's really OK to eat things in front of people and not share. But in his shoes I hope I might have talked to you calmly about that idea another time. It's certainly not something that can't wait.

In every other respect I think your DH has behaved in a really horrible and irresponsible way. I'm actually a bit worried about you and your son given this erratic behaviour. Does he do other controlling things?

I disagree with poster who said it's OK to video his mum BTW, in the sense that it's OK for you to look after your son while he's working but that's not working so he can't assume you'll look after your son - that's something to agree together.

How old is your husband? 9?

I've never heard of an adult behaving in such a puerile fashion.

I'm on the same side with food in terms of don't eat some tasty in front of a young child that you don't want to share.

But I am absolutely gobsmacked about how your OH handled this. He is teaching your son so many wrong things. I would be so upset about this!

What a complete and utter prick

Wow he has just taught your ds how to be spiteful and treat people. I would be furious and see this as a huge issue. It's not about the damn biscuit, Its about how far he would go to spite you. That's so nasty and calculating.
He risked your ds going to the shop.
And then hes going to buy items and get your ds to gang up against you and spite you.

Another one asking if he’s always like this or if it’s new behaviour?
What happened to being a team and putting on a united front?
I’d do what others suggested. Go low key tomorrow. Do the bare minimum. And tell him his behaviour is awful because it truly is.
I’d also bake later in the week.
Oh and there’s absolutely no way I’d allow my 4 year old child to have a box of biscuits in their room.

Your husband is horrible. He’s turning your child against you by being a Disney dad. You do all the educational boring stuff and he does the taking-child-to-shop-to/choose delicious-treats-for-ourselves-and she-can’t-have-any stuff. I mean, just, WTF???

And as an aside, what the hell was the arse thinking when he took a child outside the home for no good reason. One person should shop. Not two. People are dying. WTF.

Why are you with him? He doesn’t seem to do much around the house and doesn’t respect you. I doubt he loves you. Why are you together?

You have a nasty, petty husband. I hope he isn't normally so awful.

Yes and taking him to the shop?! Dick.

Your husband doesn’t like you. Why are you still with him?

He’s not a nice person, he’s a bad partner and a terrible dad. I don’t get the appeal.

I would calmly ask him why he thinks you having a breakfast bar, after everyone else had already had breakfast and therefor not sharing it, had led to him taking such nasty and completely over the top actions. And ask him why he thinks it’s acceptable to drag a child into it.

Will be interesting to see how he justifies his behaviour. He is an utter utter knob.

What an insufferable, vindictive prick. What the hell is wrong with him?

He's a prick! I'd send DS his way whenever he moans for anything tomorrow, I'd also go to the shops to get my own stash and I wouldn't bother to do anything for his birthday either.

He sounds horrible

Why does your husband think the lockdown rules do not apply to him and your son. Taking him to the shops was a power thing with which to beat you. Buying food that you are not allowed to eat? Telling your son to keep some in his room that he's not to share with mummy? Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

That's controlling in a way that is not healthy to you or as an example to your son - this is how he will learn how to treat women.

Your husband is a fucking prick.

I don't understand really, Op.

You make it sound as if you'd had no time for breakfast & were just grabbing something in the 5mins that you had spare.

That said, it was your breakfast & they had both had theirs, but really I don't see why your husband couldn't have given your son one of them if he wanted to.

What followed was just plain nastiness though.