Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

This is obv related to the topic of men disparaging red pubes...

And bullying in general, and sexual harassment.

Oh gosh - this just brought back another memory. In the London Dungeons in my 20s, (would have been the 90s) they'd put on a dramatic 'witch trial' thing - and the finale was one of the actors calling out one of the audience as "a witch" - you guessed it, it was me! My (lovely) friend said (nicely) "I guess if they're going to call a witch, it'll be the woman with red hair" - it was quite mortifying. Yet another time I was singled out for my hair colour.

I'd have had no chance living between the years 1580 - 1630 would I?

The pick on a ginger influence seems to be very strong in some schools these days.

I remember my niece (who isn't ginger) coming home from secondary school one day and from the questions she was asking it was clear she was trying to find out if my sister (her mother) and I minded being ginger and if we didn't, why not? Being happy with and loving our hair didn't fit with the narrative she was learning through her peers at school.

From one read head to two beautiful ones,

Tell them that they’re firebrand, my partner often tells me he loves my red hair... and that it makes me the feisty and determined woman I am...

It’s lot tougher being a red haired boy than girl as well unfortunately .

Show them how many hair dyes are red! One of the most popular shades! I currently have dyed orange hair and love it. Natural red and ginger tones are gorgeous 👩🏻‍🦰👩🏻‍🦰

I'm a bit pissed with the amount of "beautiful" and "gorgeous" post are on this thread tbh. My DD is having a fucking rotten time of it lately with peers in her school and I'm
Not going to tell her that her self-worth is in how stunning or beautiful she is. She's a fucking amazing kid who has stood in front of boys goading her autistic mate, she has yanked lads off when they're piling onto this same autistic lad, she runs faster and longer than most teenagers I know and she works incredibly hard. She's kind and blissfully naive (so god knows how we'll navigate the sexual comments from boys and men) and she will always support those weaker than her.

So when she comes home fearful about being kicked and targeted on "Kick a Ginger day" because of the colour of her hair, my telling her how gorgeous she is doesn't make an iota of bloody difference to what's going on.

I'm prepared for the flaming here but I can't help but notice that most of you on this thread are....just getting it wrong. Again, I know I'm in for a flaming but...fuck it.

I'm with you, WelshMoth. It's bullying - and this thread has brought back just how bad it can be. I'd blocked it out tbh.

I'm jus going to say it - it's as bad as racism or disablism. Something a child cannot change about themselves - who dyes a child's hair? - is picked on. It may not not be quite as bad as racism, but in the way it makes a child, or a person, feel - it is as bad.

So maybe the thing to thing is "would you tease a child about their skin colour" ?

*thing to say

I agree. I think it is like a kind of racism.
I have started to think that the word 'ginger' should not be used at all. It is mainly used in a negative way.

Also the whole 'kick a ginger day' scares me. How can that even be a thing?
Imagine 'kick a skin colour day'. There would be uproar!

Nicola Roberts from girls aloud is another proud red head and has been very vocal and public about the bullying she received as a child for her hair and how much she loves her hair.

Interview with her here:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/gingerparrot.co.uk/2018/02/ginger-parrot-interviews-nicola-roberts/amp/

I agree with you WelshMoth. It shouldn’t be allowed to happen, full stop, and kids don’t care how many adults tell them they’re beautiful (and why should it - it’s not about beauty). It makes not one jot of difference when they’re having a hellish time at school and just want to fit in and be accepted by their peers.
Just stop with ‘othering’ and bullying.

Another one who agrees with Welshmoth.

While there are adults still perpetuating this bollocks, it's going to carry on - and while teachers look the other way and allow kids to carry on, they'll grow up into adults that do it too.

It isn't actual racism but it is discrimination on the basis of an aspect of their body that they can't change.

Maybe they should re-introduce the blue eye/brown eye experiment to show kids just how fucking horrible it is to be "Othered" for something they were born with.

And as for the "kick a ginger" day, who the fuck ever thought that was an ok thing to do??!

Bullying a whole group for a shared characteristic is just wrong and all the "it's ok, just ignore it" isn't going to get past this. Building resilience is necessary but shouldn't be the only response - it needs to be stopped at source.

It's similar (but not the same) to the cautionary advice given to women to avoid being attacked - no! Stop the men attacking them! TEACH them that it's wrong - don't allow stupid petty moronic prejudices to carry on through the next generations!

I'm a redhead and put up with horrible attitudes growing up. It makes me so bloody angry and don't even get me started on 'kick a ginger day'

I agree that it should be called out every single time. It's not ok to discriminate again someone on the basis of a physical characteristic and as we are only 2% of the population were a minority too. I was once told that I nearly didn't get a job because of the colour of my hair!!!

Anyone remember this card? As recent as 2009.

Was that the one being sold in Tesco? Right rumpus about that, I seem to remember. There was a thread on it in here too with a bunch of people telling red-haired people that it was "just a joke" and "stop being so sensitive" and "it's only teasing" etc.
With another bunch of people negating all the bad experiences that the rest of us have had with "well I've never seen/heard/experienced it so I don't know what's the matter with you all" and "oh haha, I'm redhaired and I think it's funny"

Fuck off. You don't get to negate other peoples' bad experiences just because you got lucky.

Even famous people get it. I remember years ago probably about 15 years ago, I was watching Johnathan Ross and he asked Nicole Kidman if she had ginger pubes. She was mortified. Obviously. And then went on to say she had never had ginger hair at all... it was all a bit of a weird conversation.
Jessica Chastain was asked about having ginger hair and she said that in the airport as soon as she’d landed in England some man shouted “ginger” at her. I’m sure she said it’s never happened to her elsewhere. Just England.
Anyway- no one escapes it entirely! As I said upthread I got off lightly as a child and it was only when in my mid-20s when I joined the police that I got abuse- literally started my first day of training. Just shows the calibre of person they go for. Sadly these were educated (oxbridge mainly!) people who were going into law enforcement. There is no escape from it.

Fucking hell @badlad that's disgusting!!!

Yes to the whole oh it's only teasing bollocks.

I always think 'substitute ginger for black or disabled and you suddenly have a clearer understanding of why it's so wrong'.

Fucks me right off.

This thread also reminded me of a time when I was mid 20s. I was with my boss we’d taken clients to a top restaurant in London and over dinner I’m front of everyone my boss asked the colour of my pubes. I can’t even remember what I said.

Yeah the pubes thing is fucking gross isn't it. I had men significantly older than me asking me that shit when I was a barmaid when I was 18. So creepy. My response was usually a tart 'well what do you expect? Purple feathers?' Which used to shut them up but it always made me feel disgusting.

It's 'acceptable' racism. Every redhead I know in the UK has horrible stories of being treated like jokes or verbally abused.

This article summarises the prevailing attitude.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/may/10/ginger-hair-edward-watson-gingerism

In 2013 red haired man had his jaw broken for it.

Other countries don't have anything like this level of antagonism.