Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

Ugh @GingerBeverage the apologists in the comments section of that article are giving me high blood pressure!

@CandyLeBonBon totally agree with you. One idiot who even has the balls to say that people "exaggerate". How bloody deluded. Just because it doesn't fit their narrative that it's all in the name of a bit of fun.

Agree entirely @WelshMoth. Someone up the thread said she regularly stopped red-haired children and their parents on the street to tell them how gorgeous their hair was, which is really missing the point, as well as giving children the impression they are purely defined by their hair colour, and that total strangers feel entitled to give their (positive or negative) opinion of this aspect of their appearance.

Has anyone mentioned yet the widespread American expression ‘to beat someone like a red-headed stepchild’?

I’m Ginger/redhead/orange haired. The amount of comments I get from seemingly intelligent people “oh but it’s not ginger really, it’s auburn. And it’s actually quite pretty.”

Fuck off with your patronising euphemisms. It’s orange and it grows out of my fucking head. Get over it.

Twats.

When I was little I was very shy so hated people fusing over me (especially over things that I had no control over - hair, eye colour etc) but I did like it when a fellow red-haired person would say something nice about it - 'red solidarity'!

When we travelled in Europe it was seen as a good thing and we would only get nice comments - especially when the whole family rocked up with our red hair (it also helped that my elder sisters would have been gorgeous, stunning teens back then when I was little).

Celtic red hair racism exists and its roots lie in England's past animosity with Scotland and Ireland which both have over 10% of their population with red hair and 40% carrying the MC1R gene.

The reason that the racism doesn't exist to such an extent outside of England is twofold. The history of conflict as mentioned and the decrease in the prevalence of the MC1R gene outside of Europe, for example, the USA shows between 2-6% of population with red hair against Scotland's13%.

The Viking red hair gene, V6OL, accounts for Scandinavia being the only other country in Europe to exceed the 10% along with Scotland, Ireland and (surprisingly) Wales.

Those who try to minimise this form of racism as harmless teasing need to readdress their thinking. Think about stereotypical characterisations of Jocks and Leprechauns always depicted with red hair. This needs to be recognised for what it is; Racism.

I don't get the US antagonism - but then maybe because I'm more used to the east coast with its large Irish population. Possible in more WASPish areas it will be the same.

And someone at work called me Jock just the once - it was at an event and he was a very posh client. My colleagues just stopped and watched to see what I would say (I was very young). I wasn't rude, just firm...

Has anyone mentioned yet the widespread American expression ‘to beat someone like a red-headed stepchild’

Yes. This is is loosely based on the fact that non red headed parents can have a red headed child and men accused women of sleeping with other men because a red headed child couldn't possibly be theirs!

It's a stigma that's totally manufactured and perpetuated by society and popular culture. Other countries don't seem to have the same stigma. There's no "innate prejudice" against red hair. I know, because I had a really sheltered childhood, my parents would never have tolerated any kind of ginger prejudice in the house, and we didn't watch TV, and as a result I was a teenager before I actually realised there was a stigma against redheads. I genuinely never picked up on it throughout my childhood (not being red-haired myself), and was really surprised when I found out, because I always thought red hair was pretty and assumed everyone else thought the same.

The stigma is mostly found among children, but there's a certain type of infantile man that continues it into adulthood, usually targeting red-haired women rather than other men.

No I assure you the stigma is found amongst adults equally. My bf's friend told him she thinks redheads smell funny when he first told her about me 2 years ago. I have yet to meet her but that comment put me right off tbh.

@CandyLeBonBon - people love to cling to their prejudices.

There's even a film about redhead hate.

I live in Ireland. Now I don't know what's it like growing up her as I grew up in the UK, but as an adult I've never had any insults or 'jokey' comments about my hair. So definitely not the same in the UK where you can barely step into a pub without a comment.

Ahaha @knobblybobbly occasionally when I've seen pictures taken from behind even I've got a surprise at just how orange my hair is 😂

And now I'm in my 40s I'm separately trying to keep it orange!

I absolutely love red hair. I would show them all the beautiful red heads used as models and ask them, ‘Aren’t they beautiful? That’s what you look like’

This may have already been posted - but does anyone remember this? It was 2007.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tyne/6714735.stm

@SleepOhHowIMissYou agree with that but actually the anti- Celtic stuff is kind of the "second wave" of anti-redhead sentiment.

As I posted earlier, the first wave was even earlier as red hair and the related skin features first appeared in the Asian fringes of Europe and people in those areas were typically resistant to Southern European expansion, and were written about negatively by the expansionist forces. Of course people don't actually read those first hand accounts any more but the blunt unquestioning portrayal of the redheads as negative is there in primary and early secondary accounts of the establishment of southern European dominance and of course it filters down.

Some of the people migrated to Celtic areas, and redheads appear there as a result of that and again those areas resisted expansionism and again were seen negatively by the people recording events.

Then some of those went to Scandinavia, and so on.

It's really an ancient and well established prejudice.

And dont forget the Wesley's in Harry potter are all ginger and they where the loveliest kindest people to Harry!

I'm a natural redhead and was very lightly bullied for it as a child - as an adult it all of a sudden became an asset. However I'm currently pregnant and have already had a few comments like "What if it's ginger?" And "If it's a girl they will have beautiful hair" (as if a boy with ginger hair is less attractive)

As a ginger I relate to this, I don’t get bullied but I hate my hair. It’s a horrible and makes me feel ugly. I’m lucky I don’t have the worst shade of it, my hair is darker so it isn’t as red as other gingers hair. Everyone tells me gingers turn out super hot when they’re older but I don’t believe it, it’s reasonable for your kids to hate their hair but there isn’t anything they can do about it, sorry this isn’t helpful I just wanted to share my experience of as a ginger

WelshMoth Wed 22-Apr-20 22:34:04

I'm a bit pissed with the amount of "beautiful" and "gorgeous" post are on this thread tbh. My DD is having a fucking rotten time of it lately with peers in her school and I'm
Not going to tell her that her self-worth is in how stunning or beautiful she is. She's a fucking amazing kid who has stood in front of boys goading her autistic mate, she has yanked lads off when they're piling onto this same autistic lad, she runs faster and longer than most teenagers I know and she works incredibly hard. She's kind and blissfully naive (so god knows how we'll navigate the sexual comments from boys and men) and she will always support those weaker than her.

So when she comes home fearful about being kicked and targeted on "Kick a Ginger day" because of the colour of her hair, my telling her how gorgeous she is doesn't make an iota of bloody difference to what's going on.

I'm prepared for the flaming here but I can't help but notice that most of you on this thread are....just getting it wrong. Again, I know I'm in for a flaming but...fuck it.

You'll get no flaming from me, @WelshMoth. I agree with every word of your post.

Addressing the comments from school with a direct contradiction just gives the comments credibility.
"Red hair is ugly"
"No, red hair is beautiful"
Stupid and completely misguided, and you all need to start doing some joined up thinking on this topic.

I'm not going to tell her that her self-worth is in how stunning or beautiful she is.

THIS ^^

My DD1 is ginger. Red hair is gorgeous and a superpower.

I'm old but I well remember how patronised I felt when people told me as a child how beautiful my hair was, how people were just jealous and all the other stuff people think will build your self esteem. I think if someone had just said they understood it was horrible being picked on I would have felt much better.

The reason that the racism doesn't exist to such an extent outside of England is twofold. The history of conflict as mentioned and the decrease in the prevalence of the MC1R gene outside of Europe, for example, the USA shows between 2-6% of population with red hair against Scotland's13%.

It's also because being Irish is seen as a major plus in the US. The Irish went from being despised as poor and Catholic to a very well established and powerful community to be reckoned with. It is said that having an Irish surname can get you more votes in some areas if you run for public office.

A long time ago when DD1 was a toddler we took in a cat from an older woman who was moving from her house to a building that didn't accept pets. DD1 and I went to visit and get to know the cat. The cat owner told me she was a first generation Italian American and had married an 'Anglo' man. She raved about DD's curly red hair and said that she had wished for a 'golden haired' child all her life but her daughters were dark like her family, not strawberry blondes like her late husband's. She fed DD a week's worth of goodies in about an hour and a half..

I absolutely love red hair. I would show them all the beautiful red heads used as models and ask them, ‘Aren’t they beautiful? That’s what you look like’ Well that is great for beautiful models but actually not all us red heads are beautiful, some of us are fat, or with a face only a mother could love so when we look at those pictures we might just feel like, "It's ok being a red head if you are tall and slim and beautiful but I'm not so I lose again."

Embrace the term ginger for your kids, it needs to bounce off them. Help the own it!