Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

It's tricky because the more we reinforce something that's at odds with bullying the more they think we're just trying to be nice. School really need to tackle the bullying - not ok for any reason.

I have a dd who's a redhead and have always pointed out fellow beautiful and talented redheads - now she's 14 she's started doing it herself - like when we were watching the One World Together at Home Concet and Jess Glynn came on. "Yes! A fellow ginge!!" Were her exact words

They do generally grow up to have a sense of humour about it - not that they should have to. When dd got to high school she was pleasantlu surprised to find she was one of about 15 redheads in her year including a very good friend. There's definitely strength in numbers.

Completely agree with Bouledeneige. Children can be ruthless and all we can do is implore all parents to show and teach empathy and how differences are to be celebrated and not vilified.

DD is now 14 and thankfully survived primary schooling. It helped that she was head and shoulders tall and willowy above everyone and that she ran like lightening in the football field so she had much support. Secondary school hasn't been quite so kind but despite being quiet, she is becoming Teflon coated. It shouldn't be like this though.

Some in her close friendship group have started to single her out for hair ("oh your opinion doesn't count because you're ginger" and "no one cares what you think because you're ginger haha") and this has hit her harder than anyone else.

Just before lockdown, she came home and told me that 'Kick a ginger" day is an actual real thing and has been discussed in her presence in school. I'm furious at this thought and feel gutted for DD.

I always find these thread a bit odd. I've got red hair and have always loved it and never once had negative comments. Bit like breastfeeding. I've breastfed three dcs and never had any negative looks or comments. It makes me think maybe I'm not as observant as I think!

Member - sorry that you find this thread odd.
By you saying that it almost makes feel that you are saying that I am imaging it or it hasn't happened.
Just look at mainstream tv and you will regularly see comments that are offensive e.g Afterlife with Ricky Gervais.
Even today as I pointed out earlier, there is an article in the Daily Mail about Max Branning. There are comments called him a Wotsit, Baked bean etc

I am glad you have not experienced any bullying. Unfortunately my children have. It might be odd to you but for others the comments and bullying is happening.

Derry Girls. Michelle says she is borderline phobic ‘of gingers’.
And I know this is portraying a teenage girl in the 90s, but I was a teenage girl in the 90s.

And being about 4 and my grandmother’s friend met me for the first time and said at least she’s a girl, she’ll be beautiful with make up. That colouring on a boy would be dreadful.

It’s bloody horrible this negativity about red hair. Personally I love it, brown and blonde is boring, red is striking and unique. I have a wee thing for red-haired men too.

DD2 has a reddy tinge to her hair, I would say it’s more blonde than red, strawberry blonde perhaps. She says she gets called specky ginger at school.

DD3s is a beautiful auburn colour, like others it has highlights in it and is striking in the sun. I don’t think she’s had any bullying because if it yet she’s only 11.

I already answered this thread, way back when it was first posted. I said I have been both teased and complimented on my red hair.

The teasing is horrible, I try not to think about the teasing (bullying in some cases) tbh, but this thread has brought it back to me.

It was never awful - but it was a bit upsetting tbh, and it did affect my self esteem. And the nasty comments always made me think that the compliments were false, and people were just being nice.

I've been called all the names - "carrots" "Ronald McDonald" "gingernut" - but the very worst thing was people (men, actually - it was always men or boys) asking you about he pubes. It was the most offensive, embarrassing and humiliating thing. I always wanted a good comeback - I thought of "don't worry about it, mate, you'll never find out" - but kind of re-thought that, in that it was almost asking for a sexual assault. But that was really awful, and caused the teenage me to dye my hair dark.

I let it go back to natural in my University years - people there seemed more enlightened and accepting of it. Every boyfriend I had there adored my red hair.

When I was about 30, my hair started growing naturally dark. I was no longer a redhead. This meant I head certain unguarded comments from people who didn't know I was a natural redhead - and I heard a lot. I heard people being horrible about babies being ginger, and I heard one fairly good friend say to her young nephew - about a ginger football player being sent off - "that's what you get for being ginger!" Totally unnecessary, nasty comment - and made me realise it wasn't just kids that do this stuff.

People really need to stop doing it.

When they are old enough, they need to be armed with a cutting comment to throw back and these bullies. Preferably something witty so others laugh.

Like, I may have red hair but I can dye it. You will always be ugly

I too have never had a proper slap back for the pubes comment. I’d love to hear it if any of you have one. It’s so so humiliating. Being called Fanta pants at 14 or so by a man in a van. The flashbacks here are sickening. Mine came in pretty blonde like my natural eyebrow colour but ffs. I remember the shame like it was only last week.

Any chance of the title of the book, OP?

French modelling agencies recruit frequently in Ireland because red heads are very popular in France for their original beauty. Celebrate her difference! Point out people with red hair, compliment it. I've mousey brown hair and have colour it red for years! Via la difference.

I think the only way to counter it is to teach children resilience. I was fortunate, in that i was a very resilient child, I always had lovely family and friends which did arm me against any nasty comments I got.

And let's all just call out these nasty comments about red hair. It should be as unacceptable as any other form of bullying.

I'm bi and I've always had a thing for tanned skin and very dark hair. For me that is very sexy but it's horses for courses. We all like different things although I wouldn't like something just because it's uncommon. Miss world and Miss universe nearly always won by brunettes. Beautiful women in terms of polls have nearly always been brunettes or blondes. It doesn't mean redheads are less beautiful. We are all beautiful and unique in our own special way.

Why would you even say that on this thread, Battys?

I asked my girl what book it was and she said it was one she read at school ( I'm not sure if they would have this at school) that showed a horrible aunt who was fat, ugly and had red hair (haven't a clue what book this is).
But then she was reading another book Room on the Broom at home that describes the witch as having a long ginger plait.
I like this book and think witch is really friendly.
My little one is saying why has the witch got ginger hair? Is it ugly and it reminds her of this other book.
When we're back at school I will found out what this book is.

I thought the witch in Room on the Broom was nice?

Oh sorry I misread your post there. I'm cooking while posting

And I'm drinking while cooking

I never do that - can cause disastrous meals!

I think it’s mainly in school that people with ginger hair are picked on / ridiculed. I cringe when I think of some of the questions we asked our male ginger haired friends. I think ginger hair can be incredibly beautiful. I’m not sure what you should tell you children as they are clearly picking up on things being said. Perhaps you could say that some people say nasty things about ginger hair like they do about other things and it’s not nice to say things about people’s appearances.

You’d like to think it was just ignorant children, but I’ve actually had the worst as an adult. School it was just the odd comment, mostly just ‘teasing’ as in I felt no menace and it was often friendly. As an adult I've had several completely unsolicited comments about ginger pubes whilst working in bars, and someone called me a ‘stupid fucking ginger’ in a shop once! By that age I could easily laugh that one off, but the harassment at work did upset me as it was a regular customer who had been perfectly friendly until he had one too many one night, it reduced me to tears and I’m not generally a crier!

When I was at school I knew a boy that had bright red hair! People can be mean at school and they often were. But he took it on the chin, he laughed along with them, gave it back as good as he got, and before year 11 was over he was known as a popular, cheeky boy. He was funny and wise and that is how people remember him. Side note he is a doctor now, very popular at university because I guess he was fun to be around and was very popular with women. In his university days he always had a beautiful girlfriend on the go!

I also have a cousin with red hair and honestly she is one of the prettiest people! Her hair is a feature and I actually don’t think she would be as beautiful if she had blonde or Brown hair. She is also a doctor haha.

There is more to life than hair. Remind your girls of that. If people don’t realise that now, they will do one day soon and if they don’t, it is their loss.

Red hair boys are the cutest

You need to tackle the topic of witches in general, not just the red haired ones, @bibbidibobbididoo12.

Why were approximately 50,000 people, 80% of them women over the age of 40, burned at the stake for the crime of 'witchcraft' between 1580 and 1630 all over the western world?

You will find clues there about the stupidity and weakness of character that lie behind vilifying other people, how something like mockery of redheads can develop and be sustained by people who can't or won't deal with their own problems.

Broaden the discussion, heighten your DDs' awareness of how prejudice works on both the individual and the large scale.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_trials_in_the_early_modern_period