To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

@icecreamandcandyfloss having any child is a want not a need so I presume you are in favour of the privatising all maternity care?

@WonderWebbs thank you. On the one hand I feel relieved it was cancelled because I am very nervous about getting pregnant and bringing a child into the world now, but on the other hand we'd gone through so much to get those embryos and now they may never be used. It's a tough situation and hard not to feel defeated by it all.

The full cost should be charged. Why wouldn’t it be? If someone can’t afford it then tough luck as it’s a want not a need. Do you have children or want to have children? Can you afford and would be happy to pay a flat fee of say £15k for each child and to go without having children if you don’t have that money?

The problem with charging people for maternity care is that it's not like charging people to go to the theatre or park your car. If you don't pay for those things, you're not allowed in and can't access them. But having sex is free, and if people have sex and get pregnant, they need maternity care whether they can pay for it or not.

Well children cost thousands to raise so people do pay for them.
If you charge for maternity care all you will end up with is grossly ill children, not a civilised society.

I really really hate the argument of 'infertile people should adopt rather than IVF as there are loads of children here who need a home, help them before being so selfish' because why are we not saying this to fertile couples?? Like 'how dare they have a biological child when there are thousands of children in care who need a home!'. You never hear that argument.
It is not the responsibility of infertile couples to take care of the children of fertile people who cannot look after them.

I think IVF should be included in the NHS. However, with strict criteria such as not being over or below a certain age range, not having children already, only once etc

That is the criteria 😐

@twinkledag it isnt though - it says women who dont fall under a certain criteria may be refused

I think it would be much better if we did charge for maternity services even if not the full cost

Repulsive idea unless you like the thought of poor women labouring at home with no medical help and babies and mothers dying or becoming hideously injured beyond repair or left with lifelong disabilities.

I'm sorry to hear this OP, you DO deserve to have a family and I admire your stoicism.

@TillyFloss10 exactly this. How dare people with fertility issues want to have their children?! Exactly, it’s not the responsibility of infertile couples to take care of the children of fertile people who cannot look after them.

And if IVF shouldn't be funded on the NHS then neither should any form of maternity care and parental leave should be got rid of along with child benefit because a having a child is a 'want' not a need apparently...

People are having urgent and potentially life saving treatments cancelled too, covid seems to be all encompassing.
That ivf should be available on the nhs has always been a contentious issue hasn't it? Yabu that you think that opinion isn't a valid one.
I don't believe in ivf, or that it should be available on the his, I've always thought that if it didn't occur naturally it wasn't intended to for a reason. A little like I've always maintained my miscarriage was because of something wrong with the foetus. Bodies are pretty clever and to go against them doesn't always result in a good outcome. Aren't there often a lot of health concerns with ivf pregnancies and babies compared with the general population?

Aaah the natural argument! The phrase natural doesn’t actually mean anything. Do you think people shouldn’t have c-sections, cars, various medicines are they aren’t “natural”?

I wish the NHS had all the money in the world but it doesn't. It's sad to see because literally every which way you look there is someone equally as needing as the last that would like treatment for something so very important to them. The NHS cannot do it all because it has moved past it's original use with lots of different requirements because of changes to the way we view things and our expectations. No one who has had children with ease will understand those who want IVF but they may have a different viewpoint. They may be denied a cancer drug for their child, ask them whether they would choose money for IVF or money for a dying child I wonder which they would choose. It's a quagmire and an emotive difficult subject.

And if IVF shouldn't be funded on the NHS then neither should any form of maternity care

This is such a nasty argument and really comes across as very bitter.

I have self funded 5 rounds of IVF - through a combination of loans and remortgaging our house. IVF isn't actually that expensive you just have to choose carefully eg going for mild or short protocol IVF rather than long protocol and there are usually lots of funding options. Eg my clinic is doing any cycle of IVF for £2.5k at the moment - less than most people's annual holiday. A loan spreading that over 5 years is the monthly cost of eating out once or twice a month.
Or many places offer a refund if it doesn't work....

I actually agree that IVF shouldn't be available on the NHS unless its due to certain circumstances - eg childhood cancer or losing both tubes due to say ectopic pregnancies. It shouldn't be available to single women or to same sex partners and the age limit should be no older than 36 (some areas go to age 40 as the upper limit)

IVF shouldnt be used to step in when we've knowingly let the best years of our fertility go by whilst travelling / enjoying being single / focussing on career etc. That being said there should be more specific classes in school about how fertility declines with age so that younger people are more aware of the risk they take if they leave it till their mid to late 30s to start trying.

As someone with no fertility struggles I completely agree with you OP and do think the nhs should fund it.
Obviously it's not a bottomless pit of money and you're limited on how much treatment or try's you can get but I think it's great that it's available.
I can afford my children but I couldn't afford to pay thousand just to conceive them and if it was private funded only it widens the gap between the haves and have nots.
Some people see children as a lifestyle choice you can live with or without or wanting a baby as a selfish desire. It isn't that simple at all.
I really hope you don't have to wait too long for your treatment to start again and wish you the greatest success x

@cherrybunx0

That is the criteria and it is very strict.

What I have no time for are last minute Sallys who panic all of a sudden at say 42 and demand said services from our NHS

You can't have ivf on the NHS at age 42 🙄

Aren't there often a lot of health concerns with ivf pregnancies and babies compared with the general population?

No. HTH.

Personally I sympathise with people with mental health issues and depression but really they should look into funding it privately.

Wow. And you say this as suicide is the biggest killer of young men, above all other causes of death.

You are wrong. The right to a family life IS deemed a fundamental human right. The banal platitude that having a child isn't a 'right' is IME often trotted out by those who are easily able to conceive biologically. In which case, a) why is having a baby any more a 'right' for them, and b) they'd be the first to be up in arms if anyone tried to remove their right from them.

I am not sure that the right to a family life translates into the right to have a baby. It's about freedom to try for a baby, but not necessarily to have one. and about preventing enforced sterilisation. The state can't stop you having a baby but it doesn't have a duty to facilitate that via IVF. that said I am entirely in favour of IVF being available on the NHS. I was trying 25 years ago at which time hardly any was available on the NHS at all.

I think it’s very easy to say something shouldn’t be funded when that issue doesn’t effect you.