To not want live-in Ex to see random hook ups while we are in lockdown together?

[StayinginSummer]

Am in a sticky situation. Have 2 children and stuck living with Ex on lockdown. We’ve been ‘separating’ for months, he’s been dragging his heels. He has only just provided my solicitor with his paperwork for an agreement for access / maintenance. When I provided these 6 months ago. It’s his house. We are not married.

My one plan to move out is now on hold as it is to my mothers house, who has health issues and in shielded group. One child has severe SEN and without going into huge detail I cannot just get a job nor can I just go on benefits. Ex adamant neither of us moved out earlier without an agreement from solicitor but dragged his heels.

Apart from the obvious not great situation. My issue is that he had been cheating on me for years and lied about it. It was with random women, many many of them.

He is quite OCD, earns a lot and works from home. He was very cautious about COVID 19 and we all agreed as a household not to meet up with other people whilst in lockdown. I was okay with that.

Except recently he suddenly announced that he was still on call for his job and had to go in the middle of the night. It was 3am. He had a shower in the morning.

It’s IT so it is possible. However I know his form and strongly suspect he’s started up with random women again. I now feel like he may well be exposing our whole household. Except he would never tell me in a month or Sundays. What do I do now? I’m not high risk but I am late 40s.

I don't understand why you can't move to your Mum's house? My Mum is also shielding but after all of us self isolating for 3 weeks, she has moved in with us. As long as you all self isolate surely there should be no problem in living with her...

Thanks to all. It would be too hard to keep both kids in for at least 2 months and not out even for a walk. My mum can’t go out of the house so nor could we. If she lived with others we would have advised her to separate for a while.

I did have a plan. I was going to live at my mums, which is nearer job markets, and work on getting back to a decent part time wage. Over 4 years I’d be able to afford a mortgage again.

Ex does earn enough for two houses and a small maintenance payment. And with my minimal earnings and child benefit it would be hard but possible. He could do that even without selling his house to get a smaller one. If he sold his huge 6 bed house today he could afford a 2 or 3 bed house for him and for me outright!

He won’t though. But he could. And he’d still be earning a very good wage and he’s got a great pension. He’s coming off of this well whichever way you look at it.

My sympathies OP. . A very stressful situation for many reasons. I have a SEN child too so I know how much additional support is needed for them.
I think you can only ask him to remember/consider the agreement you had made as a household re Covoid19. Covoid19 is here for a while and some level of risk will be inevitable for life to continue. If you're doing what you can to minimise risks in all other areas then I think that's all you can do.
For your part, keep your eye on the future, focus on getting anything ready, connect with friends etc. This will pass.