To be so stressed and exhausted by pandemic meal planning

[Featherstep]

Ok so I know we're lucky to have enough food and are all healthy.

But it's week 4 of lockdown and I am just so fed up of planning, sourcing, cooking 2 meals a day for 4 people, all with different preferences! Everyone's around all day, 4 year old DS is really fussy, and 7 month old baby is newly weaned and ravenous.

With shopping options so limited I want to make sure everything is used up in the best possible way... I did meal plan a bit pre-Covid but not to this extent and frequently went for top up shops (say for curry paste if we wanted curry.)

It just feels like a large portion of my brain is spent thinking about what to cook, making food and clearing it up (from under baby's highchair, especially). And doing creative things to make the leftovers last/ turn them into baby's next meal.

DH tells me to relax and not go crazy. He just doesn't get how tiring the mental load is. I am by far the better and more resourceful cook so I do take up almost all the cooking duties- I know this is my problem. But anyone else out there want to just share the frustration?? I just want to go eat a McDonald's by myself and not have to do a mental spreadsheet of how best to use up everything in the veg box!!

Yep me too. Can't do a proper meal plan before shopping because you don't know what crucial ingredient will not be available when you go. Trying to make sure everything gets eaten in time, vaguely balanced diet for DC (1 and 4) and get dinner on the table by 5.30 latest to get DC to bed at a reasonable time to get some adult time to do chores and chill a bit.

DH is working from home and finishes about as dinner is ready so all the mental load and cooking while the DC kick off falls to me.

1yo is dairy intolerant (no pizza!!!) and 4 yo hates tomato based sauces and onions and is funny about some spices which has taken out some of my favourites.

I just want a nice takeaway on impulse and the 4 yo to eat without fussing - 1yo is a gannet but the fuss 4 yo makes is worse than cooking complicated stuff

Not sure if 7 months is too young but I bought a very small blender from Advent and I wizzed a portion of most of our meals in the blender and fed it to my baby.

Also, you could cook up some butternut squash and a few other veggies in the oven in a bit of olive oil, then mash it and freeze it for your baby and then convert the rest into soup by adding vegetable stock. I do have a recipe for this is interested.

As for your 4 year old. Are they fussy or do they have sensory/ texture issues? I know people on here jump on people coming down hard on their DC WRT food so I thought I would check first. As for my own 2 DC who are now tw/eens my DH and I were quite forceful about food and now both my DC are excellent chefs, cook a lot of our meals, make bread and cakes and eat anything so it worked! Now is a good time to get your 4 year old on board with food. We said things like they were not allowed to leave the table till they had eaten a fair bit of everything on their plates or they were not allowed any dessert until eating a fair bit. Something that also worked with my DC was options. So I'd say "do you want a tangerine or do you want some mango?" Even though they may not want either, they would always pick one. I also found that I had to introduce and expand their "likes" one at a time and then move on to the next thing. I also found that at 4 my DC may have hated something, but at 5 they were OK with it.

What does your 4 year old like?

A 7 month old can eat what you're eating. And the 4yo certainly can too.

At this time I'm alternating meals.

So we have days where I spend a while cooking from scratch. Then days (last night) when all of us have fish fingers, mash and beans.

In batch cooking once a week too so there is always veg filled bolognese and curry in the freezer so that the fresh veg isn't wasted and I have easy meals.

It's been a great time to get my 6yo eating more variety than normal as I'm aware of what he's had the rest of the day so don't get too guilty if he's not in love with dinner. On school days I can worry he's hungry and then feel more compelled to do a dinner he'll definitely finish.

I am also fed up with all the thinking about what to eat.

Maybe start by writing down a list of all the meals people will eat as a family. The baby can eat anything (remove a portion before salting it) and there may be small adjustments you can make for the 4 year old (my three used to like different vegetables so it was easy to cook a variety that included some for everyone).

Have a meal that will always be adjustable to shove in whatever is about to go off in the fridge - Mine is a chicken traybake recipe which is great for shoving in random vegetables.

Lower your standards :) a sandwich plus some fruit or something like carrot sticks is fine for lunch for the 4 year old.

Cereal and toast for breakfast. Sandwiches for dinner. Put the stuff out and let them make their own. Even the 4 year old can do this. You can use bread, rolls, wraps to change things up a bit. You cook the evening meal. Get a takeaway twice a week. Done. No one is going to die or be malnourished if you do this. Buy jars and pouches for the baby. Stop making life difficult.

I have a blackboard up in the kitchen where I write what day it is, what is for dinner and who is walking the dog. Then I have made the decision about dinner first thing in the morning and the mental load has gone for the day. Also, it stops everyone asking me what is for dinner.

I made it at the start of lockdown when I was already fed up with stuff!

Buy jars and pouches for the baby

This is more work than just feeding them what everyone else is having.

I've started doing one beans on toast night and a toasties and soup night (( home made and very filling )) other than that it's the usual spag vol, stew etc...........the weather's getting warmer now so we'll be living off bags of salad and chicken soon.

I hear you.
I cannot believe how much time I spend in my shitty kitchen.
A part of me is enjoying the challenge of working through the depths of the fridge on a weekly basis but I feel over acquainted with my pots and pans right now.

I have two fussy children and one who eats most things and I can feel your pain.
Work out and make a list of meals your children will eat. I did this and came up with about five so that was reassuring. Then I added in meals I wanted anyway whether or not they did and meals some would eat but not others. That takes the list up a fair bit.
Now mix the list up a bit and put it on rotation.

Get your 4-year old interested in cooking too. If they think they have made something, they will eat it. For example, get them to make a milkshake (smoothie) and some healthy muffins that can be frozen?

Also before lockdown I had started making a weekly meal plan. This helps with shopping and stops my now teenage children constantly asking what's for dinner.
Only problem comes when I check the plan and groan. But I don't feel like macaroni cheese tonight!

Sorry going against the grain here. How do you think your parents and grandparents would have dealt with this situation. The more mature of us remember when preparing all meals from scratch was the norm, without any gadgets to assist. We ate what was put in front of us or go hungry till the next meal. We used to have one cooked meal a day. When I had my children young and was suffering from post natal depression my ex husband used to sit down with me and meal plan for 2 weeks at a time, it gave a routine which helped the situation when everything else is beyond your controls.

Oh I remember my parents dealing with fussiness. It's not a modern phenomenon.
I also remember my grandparents really enjoying a tin of mulligatawny soup now and then

I'm utterly fed up of it all. Planning meals then can't get some of the ingredients so having to sort it again. I have a little boy with autism so can be fussy/restricted with food and my 11 month old hates spice of any description. We eat a lot of pasta.
Breakfast and lunches are simple.
One cooked meal a day.
DS just eats chips every single night so we can work around him, but with DD as well, we have to limit salt, blah blah blah so can't just get a curry sauce or something. Finding it a massive headache.

I just want to eat cheese and crackers and call it good.

I’ve just realised that M&S foodhall are open, and generally really quiet. Thus getting some nice food really helped with the drudge

Not quite relevant to your situation but I was dreading the arrival
Of my DD from uni because she has an eating disorder. Vegan too. Which I can cope with. But the ED has made holidays v difficult for the past 3 years. Anyway, she is responding very well to the lack of flexibility afforded by one single big shop once a week. It has loosened up her rigid habits and low cal tastes. A simple 'I'm sorry there was no whole meal pitta in Tesco' and she'll miraculously eat the white version. We're a long way from absolute recovery but this lockdown is really helping!

How do you think your parents and grandparents would have dealt with this situation

To a certain extent that is irrelevant though. They (the women!) were raised to know how to "manage a house" from an early age. If you are suddenly thrust into having to do it all the time then of course it's going to be difficult and stressful. They were able to go out shopping regularly too.

I think it's just partly missing your old life pre lockdown but you could make things easier on yourself. The meals you mention don't sound that complicated, make your dh take his turn cooking, if he really can't cook one of them mock him and tell him he's useless have some easier meals on the rota like baked potatoes or something beige he can reheat. Let ds have his beloved cheese sandwich a bit more often he will be thrilled.

I’m with you op. I make 5 different breakfast and lunches and 3 different dinners every day. The kids and h are constantly asking for snacks and drinks too. The dishwasher goes on 3 times a day now. I spend 5 hours a week shopping, and about 5 hours per day on food in some way.

OMG just why??? How old are your children, and why can't your husband sort his own snacks?

Ah! The joys of being single, no kids! I had an easter egg from breakfast yesterday! Yes I know I have blown any chance of losing weight this week! When the shelves were almost empty a while back I did have some rather weird food combos but hell, it is all food right? I remember when mum used to ask me what veg she should cook with fish. Did not bother me but every veg I suggested she wrinkled her nose up at. Yes I have cooked white fish with cauliflower..because I had white fish and cauliflower in my flat so that is what I cooked. Not a very colourful plate but it both got eaten and no partner/kids to make a face or sulk.

I know it's exhausting I hear you, there are 5 of us - 9 year old son who never stops eating, 6 year old dd who loves anything beige and is allergic to tomato (which cuts out so many meals), and 4 year old dd who prefers to graze.

I refuse to make dif meals for everyone (bar dd6 if we want something tomato based) and I have always meal planned but for lunches it's simple -
Either sandwiches, crackers and fruit, eggs of some kind or wraps etc.
We have a cooked dinner but twice a week it's something from the freezer and salad, once a fortnight we have a takeaway and I use the slow cooker a lot - we are having slow cooker brisket tomorrow with Yorkshire's and veg, takes 30 seconds to prep!

It's about getting a balance I think, don't be so hard on yourself xx

You're making it too complicated. My ds has sensory issues with food so I get your gripes. I sat down for 30 mins and did an entire meal plan for a month.
its really not that hard. Lunch is leftover from supper. Breakfast is cereals/ eggs/ smoothies/toast.

So supper meals are planned out and then I just shopped according to that. And almost all veg can be chopped and frozen so dont stress about anything not being used up. Or it can be made into a stew or soup.
Or just cook, puree and freeze all the veg for the baby.

I was sick of it before, and lockdown has just made it worse. I don't mind the actual cooking, it is the mental load of deciding what to make, and having to alter your plans to cope with what isn't available. We normally get a supermarket delivery once a week but I would pick up the odd thing I needed several times a week while doing the school run, top up the fruit, pick up some milk etc, without it feeling like a military operation. Quarantine quartermaster (good phrase!) is a crap job.

I have always meal planned so don't find it stressful. I just plan the evening meals though. Then make sure we have things in for sandwiches for lunches and a few breakfast options like Cereal/Croissants etc.