To be so stressed and exhausted by pandemic meal planning

[Featherstep]

Ok so I know we're lucky to have enough food and are all healthy.

But it's week 4 of lockdown and I am just so fed up of planning, sourcing, cooking 2 meals a day for 4 people, all with different preferences! Everyone's around all day, 4 year old DS is really fussy, and 7 month old baby is newly weaned and ravenous.

With shopping options so limited I want to make sure everything is used up in the best possible way... I did meal plan a bit pre-Covid but not to this extent and frequently went for top up shops (say for curry paste if we wanted curry.)

It just feels like a large portion of my brain is spent thinking about what to cook, making food and clearing it up (from under baby's highchair, especially). And doing creative things to make the leftovers last/ turn them into baby's next meal.

DH tells me to relax and not go crazy. He just doesn't get how tiring the mental load is. I am by far the better and more resourceful cook so I do take up almost all the cooking duties- I know this is my problem. But anyone else out there want to just share the frustration?? I just want to go eat a McDonald's by myself and not have to do a mental spreadsheet of how best to use up everything in the veg box!!

I find saying l can't get to the shops has stopped all fussiness in my house - told me the shops haven't got anything so if they don't eat what,is put in front of then they don't eat. Worked so far and cut right down on waste but my daughter is older so a bit more understanding than a 4 year old. Absolute sympathy for you OP but don't be so hard on yourself xxx

Yanbu.
I'm toying with a whole week of ready meals.

Relax about it a little. Batch cook and freeze for the baby so if you want an easy dinner that maybe the baby can't have you always have something homemade and get your 4 year old to help you prepare the meals. I know it's time consuming but it can help with a fussy eater, also don't make mealtimes a battle offer your 4 year old everything you're all having on his plate if he eats it, great but if not don't say a word I battled with my eldest when she was little and I lost everytime
Hubby and I used to sometimes cook for the kids and then get ourselves a takeaway when they were in bed. My eldest would only eat less when she was 2. She's 18 now and eats everything as do my other 3 (16, 12 and 9 ) There are 2 choices. Take it or leave it. I cook once a day and that's it. They sort their own breakfast cereal,. Scrambled eggs, toast etc. They sort their own lunch. Sandwich, soup etc and I cook dinner. I cook everything from scratch and ask everyone what they fancy then go with the majority.

I feel you OP! We’ve got a 15 month old and 3.5 year old over here.

With my eldest, we are a bit hardcore. If he doesn’t eat his dinner then he goes hungry and doesn’t get his yoghurt afterwards. That’s enough to make him eat it.

I’m lucky as baby is going through the stage of eating anything put in front of him.

We’ve changed eating habits whilst in lockdown. We batch cook at weekends so we eat Saturdays leftovers on Monday and Sundays leftovers on Tuesday. We then order Hello Fresh sized up to 3 portions so the children eat it too on Weds/Thurs/Fri. We started eating dinner at 5pm with the children too. Psychologically we find this better for us as after doing the children’s bedtime you don’t need to then cook another meal and clean the kitchen.

Can you cook something like a big batch of homemade pasta sauce for baby and freeze portions? I used to to that and purée loads of different vegetables into it. And use baby pouches as a base and add some rice / lentils and some meat/fish to them too (if baby is eating meat/fish).

Good luck! We’ve tried to adapt during lockdown mainly to take the pressure of me! We also eat lunch sometimes at midday with the children too.

Just jumping on to say I really like Mindful Chef, we’ve been getting it for ages (though I can’t vouch for the veggie dishes as we mostly get meat and fish). Unless the 4 year old has a massive appetite the meals for 2 will be plenty as the portions will be quite large, though can be quite spicy.

Another recommendation for the kids is Tilda Kids microwave rice pouches. So quick, tasty and full of vegetables. It’s in the kids foods section. The paella one is really nice, I often eat it myself for a quick lunch. I also find adult rice pouches really tasty and convenient, and plenty in stock in supermarkets at the moment.

Totally agree with Barton10. Forget the healthy eating occasionally and get a take away!

We’re eating healthily 90% of the time and planning our meals two or three days in advance. It’s easier because there’s only the two of us- sons grown up and living independently- but we go a bit crazy on Saturday nights. Pizza delivered followed by a chocolate Easter egg (my husband loves chocolate Easter eggs, he’s not quite grown up) washed down with a bottle of Shiraz and final touch, a glass of whisky.

Relax! If your four year old is a fussy eater give her a packet of crisps or a bar of chocolate now and again. She’ll live. 💐

Understand your frustration. I to have a 7month old and 3 1/2 year. Just today went and brought the food for 7 month old to pre make and freeze dinners, have enough to cover 2-3weeks, 2 meals a day plus breakfast. Found the Annabel Karmel and Ella's Kitchen books really useful for guidance and recipes. (Although, think buying pre made jars would be easier)

As with the 3 and 1/2 year, he was a fussy eater (still can be at times) but we found treating him with Smarties for trying something new on his plate and / or smartie ice cream for pudding if he was to eat all his dinner. Has increased the different foods he now eats and more open to trying new things.

Main thing, don't stress too much, we are all having to adapt to this change and food planning for the week is the hardest because we have had it so easy with the convenience of 24/7 shops.

YABU - but only because you do the following (and more fool you!)

'cooking 2 meals a day for 4 people, all with different preferences!'

I am sooo fed up of meal planning! My mil lives with me, she’s vegan so most meals are planned around what she eats as she’s the fussiest, so we don’t all end up with different meals, but she literally asks me from 10am “what shall we do for lunch?” and again as soon as we finish “what’s for dinner?” it’s driving me round the fucking bend! I just want a kfc on my own away from the constantly hungry kids, the mil who literally has run out of other things to say to me and the DH who says “I don’t mind, you choose” aaarrrgghhh!!

I had cheese and beans on crackers for dinner last night with a couple of beers and told the others to sort themselves out, it was bliss!

I hear you. It’s tough.

We did a few weeks of meal planning in 1 session so that we would know what to get from the shops and what needed to be eaten by when.
Always thinking and planning meals and shopping lists day after day becomes a worry.

One major session of planning was a bit intense at first but then reassuring. We knew what we could use up from the freezer. We could plan to make special meals for our wedding anniversary and Easter and make sure we wouldn’t run out of eggs before we had a chance to dye a bunch.

We could even factor in some ready meals and a takeaway to ease the pressure on frequent cooking.

My husband likes the pressure cooker he got for his birthday so he is doing a large share of the cooking. The novelty of it makes it more of a hobby for him than a chore. Will your DH take on any cooking?

Do you have a slow cooker or gadget to help cook some things unattended for at least part of the recipe?

Can you make some large batches of things like spaghetti sauce, chilli, mac and cheese or your family’s favourites to eat some and freeze some for later?

Our DD7 can be annoyingly fussy so if we have pasta and sauce she won’t want the sauce with it. But she will eat the sauce if we put it on pita bread and sprinkle on mozzarella and call it pita pizza.

If we make toad in hole, half has meat sausages and half has vegetarian. If the grownups have pie and mash with peas, DD gets peas, mash with nuggets or vegetarian sausage.

We are trying to find compromises, work arounds to make it less of a daily burden. I hope you find some options to help ease the pressure, stress and frustration.

At the end of the day the 4 year old will est if hungry, dont pander to them being 'fussy' and go old school. My 5 year old refused her lunch last week so it was put in the fridge and she was told she would get it for dinner.
Also get your other half on the case. Major bugbear in my house, it's all up to me, special birthday meals, food shops for self catering holiday, xmas food shop, coronavirus food prep (and no did not go crazy stock pilling just a few more tins!). It's very frustrating planning meals each week along with snacks and treats.i gave up hassling other half to help, he did it half heartedly for a week or so when I was ill and he had to food shop and plan. now the other half buys me wine each week as a thanku for my efforts, much better arrangement

Fed up of planning meals here too. 4 adults here. DD vegetarian, DS hates vegetables.
Now we pretty much just all do our own thing. No breakfasts as I’m doing 16:8 and the dcs aren’t up until the afternoon. Just evening meals for me, DS and DH to do. DD does her own

Here - my spouse is responsible for his and DS breakfast and lunch. Breakfast is toast with spreads and milk. Lunch is: without fail: a lunchbox. Sandwiches, yoghurt pot, juice, fruit, box of raisins, cheese snack: assembled from multipacks by DH and stick in a lunch box.

I do not eat breakfast: I breastfeed the baby all day. I eat something light or what I fancy for lunch.

I involve myself only with dinner. And for dinner yes I cook a gorgeous meal based on what I myself fancy. Splendid curries etc. DH sand DS eat that. If they don’t fancy it: tough luck.

No way would i make myself responsible for all these meals. I literally only bother about dinners

I feel you OP. I also have a ravenous 7 month old and trying to figure out healthy, balanced, nutritious meals for her is very new to me being a first time mom. Coupled with a fussy husband it’s a job in itself. On a few occasions I have lost my rag as DH seems to think I will provide for everyone as well as answering his 1 million questions about where things are kept in his own house

I have had almost the opposite. Fussy ds is suddenly eating parsnip, tuna, broccoli, lettuce and a whole host of other stuff he hasn't eaten since being very small for no apparent reason and dh is on like it or lump it....Which has meant him cooking more in case I make him eat more 'weird stuff and veg' so a win-win here 🤣

Featherstep

My son is autistic and has ARFID and has a problem with lumps in sausages and nuggets and now eats vegetarian ones instead, perhaps when this is over you could try your son with some! xxx

My DH doesn't get the mental strain of thinking what everyone is eating for every meal. It's annoying. We all eat the same but if my youngest doesn't like it I tell him to eat what he can and leave the rest. If he's hungry later he can have a piece of toast. I'm not catering to every whim. I'd like to live alone for a week and just eat cheese and crackers. I hate being asked what's for tea grrrrr. I dont know...what is for tea? I ask back. .

OP, I have been dreaming about Pret A Manger too:

It tastes nice
It’s easy to choose healthy options
I did not cook it myself
It tastes nice

Win win win

Am bored of my own cooking. And I don’t like fish and chips or other takeaway food (some of it is tasty, but most gives me heartburn and raging thirst)

But ahhhh.... a Pret A Manger lunch would go down really nicely now

In real life, at home, I have two ravenous teens to feed. One is vegetarian. One can’t have dairy (allergy)

The mental load is what gets to me! Not the actual cooking.

On a nice long walk today DH asked what I was thinking about. He was thinking about the impact of corona virus on society and culture. I was thinking: “eggs and hash browns and mushrooms for lunch, and stir fried veggie noodles this evening. With some chicken on the side for DH. But wait, I still need to use up the runner beans before they go off. Can you put runner beans in stir fry? Probably not. Maybe we’ll have a different dinner then. Starting with the runner beans. And not meat but maybe an omelette. But we are already having eggs for lunch . Ah fuck” THAT was what I was thinking

I bore myself to death planning meals ...

im winging it every meal - open the cupboards, fridge, freezer and see what I have then throw something together. There is one option in my house so eat it or go hungry. My kids were use to that before lock down so this is no different for them. Did get a bit tricky when we all had covid as I was really poorly for 3 weeks and there was zero food coming into the house. The last week was really hard to think of anything with nearly nothing but we did have fresh bread I was baking everyday which was lovely and we weren't going hungry.

Im actually less stressed during lockdown than I was pre lockdown

Ah thank you for all the replies! Wow didn't expect so many. Many helpful suggestions which I will take note of.

Especially glad to hear about the experiences of those in the same boat. Really just wanted to let off some steam! I calmed down a bit and on reflection much of it was because DH said my stress was causing an 'uninviting atmosphere around the table'. Which made me RAGE but I know he has a point.

So yesterday I got DH to steam some broccoli and bung some chicken goujons in the oven. I made some easy fried noodles, lowered my standards... DS ate the whole bowl of broccoli, 1 goujon, and refused his 'safe food' noodles If it was his choice to go a bit hungry so be it!

100% agree not to make dinners a battle, I never win.

HelloFresh is on the way next week, will see how that goes! Never tempted as I think my cooking is better (and less expensive), but these aren't normal times.

PS DH serves the kids their breakfasts everyday, bakes bread twice a week and makes waffles on Sundays. Occasionally makes a pizza or burger or chicken pasta or omelette. That is his repertoire. He looks after the kids when I'm in the kitchen. He is not completely useless... but please please no more questions like these

'When do you want the broccoli to be ready?'
'How do you want the veg sticks to be chopped?'

MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS!! I have enough to make.

I lie awake at night planning meals. As I only shop once a week I lie awake going around Aldi thinking through everything I will need to last 2 adults and 2 fussy teens 3 meals a day

Yep, why on earth are we losing sleep planning meals and wasting brain cells on rationing eggs in the fridge?? I mean do men ever do this? (recalling a thread a while ago on a DH cooking the last eggs) I know I DON'T have to but it's like lockdown has brought out the worst in women's 'feed the brood' instincts. Please don't jump on me!

I like it lately s I have an assistant to clear up after me as I'm a messy cook 😂 Normally I'm in first so prepare the food and then have to clear up all my mess!