To be so stressed and exhausted by pandemic meal planning

[Featherstep]

Ok so I know we're lucky to have enough food and are all healthy.

But it's week 4 of lockdown and I am just so fed up of planning, sourcing, cooking 2 meals a day for 4 people, all with different preferences! Everyone's around all day, 4 year old DS is really fussy, and 7 month old baby is newly weaned and ravenous.

With shopping options so limited I want to make sure everything is used up in the best possible way... I did meal plan a bit pre-Covid but not to this extent and frequently went for top up shops (say for curry paste if we wanted curry.)

It just feels like a large portion of my brain is spent thinking about what to cook, making food and clearing it up (from under baby's highchair, especially). And doing creative things to make the leftovers last/ turn them into baby's next meal.

DH tells me to relax and not go crazy. He just doesn't get how tiring the mental load is. I am by far the better and more resourceful cook so I do take up almost all the cooking duties- I know this is my problem. But anyone else out there want to just share the frustration?? I just want to go eat a McDonald's by myself and not have to do a mental spreadsheet of how best to use up everything in the veg box!!

OP I hear you and agree!
It's 1.43am. I've just come to bed after an evening of putting kids and baby to bed (at different times), tidying up and then meal planning and adding to my Ocado order. I live in the kitchen and don't even get to go in my lounge! One meal after another. I am cooking more than usual and trying to use it as time to make my older two less fussy so it is my own fault but I do want them to eat healthily. So many things are out of stock online too. It won't be forever..... argh!!!!

Same here.

I had ham, cheese, 4 oranges and a glass of wine for dinner tonight

Kids had mac and cheese and peaches 😇

I totally get you OP!

I've had to really hammer home to DH right now that I'm exhausted by decision fatigue and the extra mental load because everything is taking more planning right now, including work. Sometimes I just need to get a takeaway or have pasta and a jar of sauce or a frozen pizza, even if I know he doesn't really like those things because I need the headspace back.

Oh, I am with you, OP.

I already do most of the things mentioned here-assemble leftovers from the fridge as a meal, batch cook and freeze-but the mere process doing these things eats up my brain bandwidth! I hate the fact that I am constantly thinking about meals and it just never stops.

My only advice is, give yourself permission to serve some rubbish and lower your standards a little bit. And Skype friends while cooking and clearing up! It relieves the tedium and at least you have someone to vent to about how crap it is and have a laugh about it all!

Teens here in charge of cooking once or twice a week each and are making much nicer food than I do. I seem to spend a lot of time sourcing it though.

I have a mix of a decent meal and a easy meal, it is still cooking but it's makes for less fuss.
I order a frozen pizza, make nachos and have cold meats, savaloys, macaroni cheese, cheese on toast, creamed rice my child loves, so when my veggies aren't popular I know that is filling.
Baby I would try more pudding types as well as veggie meals,babies throw food put a sheet down and buy some baby food jars.
Buy everything to make homemade burgers yum.

What we have done is shut the decision-making down for two meals a day.

breakfast is toast or crumpets. Every day.

Lunch is a ham sandwich with fruit

Dinner is something I think about and plan.

The other emals are now on auto pilot. It wil not hurt to not have a vairty for several weeks. And it lightens the mental load.

raspberryk Sat 18-Apr-20 00:03:12

Quit the weaning food, you don't even need the jars just give the baby the same food as everyone else has.
The 4 year old has the same as what you have and he eats it or he doesn't.
Why are you cooking more than 1 hot meal a day? It's not necessary.

THIS ^^

Well, KFC are reopening so you'll be able to get a junk food fix.

When are KFC reopening??? Can't fucking wait 😂😂

I might make fakeaway KFC

I don’t necessarily feel stressed by it as I have the time but the meal planning certainly takes some organisation

I keep a pad and pen in kitchen with meals that can be cooked for the week, available lunches and keep a tally of what’s in stock to keep on top of it all

I’m impressed by how much we can make things spread out and cut back on waste

I’m sad that fruit doesn’t make it to the end and I start feeling quite down if I don’t get my daily fruit and veg

But I have worked around that by keeping frozen bags of berries so I can at least make smoothies on those days there isn’t anything fresh available

Definitely try meal subscription boxes, we used to get 3 meals a week from Hello Fresh, I have now upped it to 4 and as they have also added lunch and brunch (and wine!) so this week we have 5 meals coming - takes so much pressure off the planning and shopping

These are the rules in our house that are helping me manage -

The kitchen is closed straight after meals - the kids can help themselves to fruit in between if they're hungry. No other snacks, they're much less active and will eat enormous amounts out of pure boredom rather than genuine hunger.

• one hot meal a day, they don't have to eat it all but fruit is the only alternative.
• breakfast is toast/cereal, lunch is hot meal and dinner is picky tea like cheese/crackers/nuts/raw veggies/yoghurt /smoothie/dips etc.
• everyone helps with clear up of breakfast /lunch, including drying up and putting away.

I felt obliged to cook and sit with the kids at lunchtime but it was difficult wfh so now they have a packed lunch. I have still been cooking from scratch for the evening meal but often I have an ingredient missing so can’t pop to the shops and while I am getting fruit and veg box that adds to th pressure of trying to cook around random things.

Meal plans in my house
Pizza
Hot dogs
Chicken curry
Meat balls and pasta all.done in slow cooker
Jacket spuds
Freezer meal
Sandwich for lunch

It repeats weekly lol

And sunday lunch obvs

I’m sick of food to be honest. I sort breakfast, two snacks a day, lunch and supper and I’m absolutely fed up of deciding what to make. Trying to involve everyone a bit and making each person pick at least one meal and if others don’t like it then tough. Fish finger sandwiches tonight and salami sandwiches at lunch (not jealous) I’ve made the rule that I’m making one dish per meal except for breakfast and people can eat or not but the alternative is a banana. Given how fussy my dp and dd can be I’m surprised the banana aren’t gone but I think my meltdown last weekend was heard. I know I’m so lucky to be in the position that I’m in but jeez I’m finding picking the other meals a chore! Pinterest is helping a bit but I need to sit down and organise the things to minimise waste/ trips to the shops.

O dear OP.
I am similar at the minute. Im WFH whilst I have my 6 year old and 10 month old here. I rarely get an hour lunch break from work to make something healthy.
Dp is going out to work every day and not back until 5.30.
I have to 'prepare' most meals and find I am absolutely just fed up of getting out bowls plates cups and cleaning up again.
Breakfast, ds has corn flakes and toast, baby has weetabix
Lunch, ds has a sandwich or something quickly cooked in the airfryer, baby has some food from the previous days dinner, or a baby jar
Dinner I cook healthy meals, luckily ds has come out of his fussy eating stage and will eat most of what we eat, the baby will also eat anything!
Snacks, I tell ds to help himself to any time - they are carrot sticks, cucumber sticks and yoghurts.
At the weekend dp will cook - I dont care what he makes as long as I dont have to make it.
Tonight were getting fish and chips as dp is working again (that's 6 days this week) and I've ran out of meat and cant get to the shops with the kids.

Dh is home thank goodness. I’m exhausted. I’ve down tools the last couple of days and told him to cook for dd. I’m having lots of salads, oat cakes and cheese or ham and an apple. Dh cooks for himself and dd has a sandwich for lunch and dinner is something cooked for just dd or dd and me.

I hear you. I'm so sick of it, not just during lockdown but all the time. DH is a shit cook whereas I generally enjoy the process so the actual cooking is my department. He does more than his share elsewhere. I would really appreciate a bit of input in what to make but get nothing. He always says he doesn't mind and it's sooooo annoying. Especially when he wrinkles his nose up at what I serve. Although he'll eat everything it's obvious when he's not keen. I don't make different things for the kids though, tough luck. I do often give them a slightly different version or give them something extra I know they like to make it more appealing if I know they aren't that keen.

Gousto for us, pasta/rice/pizza/quiche or freezer food with veggies for the kids. Never usually give the kids freezer food (not because anything is wrong with it - just usually cook fresh), but it’s my friend at the moment.

Sorry, but unless there are genuine food intolerances or health issues (both of which I have the utmost sympathy for) I think this is the time to be hard core. One meal produced for the family, eat it or don't. If an adult complains, they cook the next meal. Too many kids know that they will be given what they want if they refuse a meal because so many mums feel guilty if their child doesn't eat. Start new habits that will benefit you once this is over.