To be so stressed and exhausted by pandemic meal planning

[Featherstep]

Ok so I know we're lucky to have enough food and are all healthy.

But it's week 4 of lockdown and I am just so fed up of planning, sourcing, cooking 2 meals a day for 4 people, all with different preferences! Everyone's around all day, 4 year old DS is really fussy, and 7 month old baby is newly weaned and ravenous.

With shopping options so limited I want to make sure everything is used up in the best possible way... I did meal plan a bit pre-Covid but not to this extent and frequently went for top up shops (say for curry paste if we wanted curry.)

It just feels like a large portion of my brain is spent thinking about what to cook, making food and clearing it up (from under baby's highchair, especially). And doing creative things to make the leftovers last/ turn them into baby's next meal.

DH tells me to relax and not go crazy. He just doesn't get how tiring the mental load is. I am by far the better and more resourceful cook so I do take up almost all the cooking duties- I know this is my problem. But anyone else out there want to just share the frustration?? I just want to go eat a McDonald's by myself and not have to do a mental spreadsheet of how best to use up everything in the veg box!!

You're making life difficult for yourself.

Write a meal plan to get you through to the next delivery and then go to the bloody shop.

This.

I've found the Jamie Oliver recent Keep Cooking and carry on series useful for ideas. The recipes are flexible so you can swap missing ingredients for alternatives & use your store cupboard.

I do a lot of one tray roasts (meat & veg roasted together) served with salad & a carb. The left overs are turned into a curry, biryaani, stew or stir fry the next day. I cook double portions which can be frozen or turned into another meal the next day.

Pressure cookers are a huge help.Just get your DH trained up and onboard with using it and it’s an easy way to make a casserole or soup (thicker or thinner respectively). Use any veg combination, meat if wished, stock cubes and any dried herbs, spices if you want.It’s quick, easy and super healthy 😃

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/category/books/keep-cooking-and-carry-on/

Is bbq up and running , bbq (one of sausage, chicken, veg kbebs) and salad with fried potatoes, chips, baked potato, garlic bread. That's 4 meals, meat cooked by DH.

I don't understand all these different options at mealtimes.
Mine got a choice of cereal and toast for breakfast and a school lunch or a sandwich if they were at home and a cooked meal of my choosing in the evening, which they either ate or went hungry. They soon decided that they didn't like being hungry.
I don't get all this pandering to kids.

We have never meal planned and always bought lots of food so there's always been loads of stuff in our freezers and cupboard so we always just had whatever we fancied. We mainly cook from scratch so we have a lot of basics and are used to tweaking recipes to use up what we have in.
We've obviously only been to the shops a few times during lock down and have mostly only been buying fresh stuff and snacks as we felt it would be wrong to buy stuff we have enough of already when stock is low anyhow! dh and I decided to list all the meat in the freezer and meal plan to use it all up. We listed 21 meals and each evening we pick which one we fancy for the next evening and get meat out to defrost. Its become a bit of a laugh we cross off the stocklist and tick the meal list and neither of us have the mental load of planning we already know we have everything we need to make the meal. We are going to use our meal list to make a shopping list to keep our shopping down. As for the other meals they shouldn't really need much thought breakfast here depends on what in and how hungry we are but toast cereal porridge crumpets bacon/sausage sandwich omelette the odd full English, lunch usually sandwich with fruit and crisps, soup, a bit of a picnic and occasionally the dc will have something out of a tin like beans and sausages. Generally we all have the same thing for every meal maybe just the odd tweak to suit our preferences or additional veg for the dc (nearly 1 and nearly 4) usually dc only have something different if dh and I want something spicy or we're going to eat later on our own.

YANBU i know exactly how you feel. I am classed as extremely vulnerable so we have been taking every precaution. We are extremely lucky to have our local supermarket delivering to us and our butcher.

There is me, DH and my 2 DSS 15 & 17 again different food preferences.

I meal plan with precision to make sure not to over spend and to make sure we have enough food for the week.

Meal planning is also difficult with still not being able to get rice pasta ect. A lot of stuff on my list does not come so i have to improvise a lot. It's extremely stressful.

Me & DH are both self employed an neither are in work so it is incredibly stressful times but OP it's not going to be forever (i tell myself this at least 100 times a day)

Is this the time for children, and others, to learn the words 'take it or leave it'?

Surely lunch you just have some standard options like sandwich/roll/wrap
You def don’t need to cook twice a day do you?
Also I am doing top up shops sometimes if there’s something specific I need, but then I am going out to work and pass a shop.

Going against the grain and am not sure what it is you are finding so hard. You are making meals for your family, which I assume you do all the time albeit with some limited ingredients. Either your ds eats what you all do or you just give him his limited menu. Even if you do have to cook separate things for you baby and toddler keep your own lunches simple eg. Omlettes, boiled eggs, sandwiches, soups. Don't overthink it. Baby can to some extent have what you have, with less seasoning or the same as your toddler.

I have always cooked the same meal for my toddlers but a less seasoned version. When my ds was a baby I initially spoonfed so he was on purees before I made recipes from Annabelle Karmel's books. I then quickly realised it was easier to give him the same thing as dd and just mash it a little. I guess it does depend on what stage of weaning your baby is at but if you are baby led surely that makes things easier?

If you are fed up with cooking, fair enough and ask your partner to cook. I am going to work today so my dh is cooking. I don't care what he cooks just would like a day off. Maybe take some time for yourself and don't be so hard on yourself!

Like you l enjoy cooking and rarely buy pre-made sauces etc. I agree that thinking about 3x meals a day is draining, especially when you have complaints and whinging!

When my youngest DC was the same age of your baby, I did baby led weaning, so they ate what everyone else was having.

My eldest (nine years old) was and still is a little fussy (she has got better, the older she has got), so l know exactly what you mean about cooking several different dishes. Personally, she is so headstrong that she’d rather go hungry than eat something she didn’t want. I try to at the very least, have something on the plate that l know she’ll eat and also separate everything (so she can’t complain about one food touching another 🙄).

Like PP have said:

Breakfast: cereal/porridge/toast/fruit/yoghurt

Lunch: sandwiches, wraps, salads, stir fried noodles with vegetables, crudités and dips, crackers and cheese, omelette.

Dinner: I tend to make more than l need and have enough left over to either freeze or to create another meal for later in the week.

Bolognese:

Serving 1: have this with pasta and a side salad (make enough salad, so that you could eat it for lunch the next day)

Serving 2: Use the sauce and make a lasagna or pasta bake

Chilli:

Serving 1: serve with rice and salad

Serving 2: use the chilli and make into wraps or enchiladas or serve with a jacket potato or loaded fries/nachos or even potato skins

Stew/casserole

Serving 1: make it serve with potato’s
Serving 2: create a pie Or make and have it with dumplings

Use any left over rice and make fried rice or stuffed peppers

Use any left over pasta to make into a pasta salad for lunch

Hope that helps.

Totally totally with you (and I don't even have the 4 year old to feed). I'm tired of the guilt as well - I got some sage out the freezer last night then forgot to add it and I was beating myself up about it. It's three fucking sage leaves!

Is it just us then, the shops here are stocked as per normal.

I’m with you OP!

I’m on the point of refusing to cook any longer! It’s making it worse as I have to shield so can’t go out to shop myself so I’m having to make a list for DH, where usually when I go shopping I have a loose plan of what I’m going to buy, but than can change depending what’s on offer etc.

I can’t wait to go and my own food shopping, seriously!

We’re having takeaway tonight from my favourite dirty bagel shop, no other choices, take it or leave it!

I only cook one hot meal a day.
I meal plan for three days ahead. Dh does some days. Dds eat pretty much what we do except our spicy curries and chillies.
Breakfast is always something cold like cereal.
Lunch is sandwiches and then dinner is a main hot meal which dh helps cook.
Get your dh to do more.

I never meal plan unless you count googling recipes for ingredients of what I have in the fridge or cupboard a couple of hours before. I learn new recipes and No food waste

I’ve always been a meal planner/shopper in terms of evening meals so I’m not finding it much different than before - except now we all have lunch at home too. There’s usually leftovers from the night before, that someone will eat for lunch. The alternative is soup/sandwich/salad. Something on toast. Pot noodle occasionally. You don’t need to plan lunch too much surely?

Why haven’t you got your “usual treats and wine” though @Featherstep? I don’t understand the martyrdom and hair-shirting around shopping at the moment. If you are doing a supermarket shop, put what you want and need in the trolley ffs. No-one is handing out gold stars for denial.

If your son wants a bagel or a cheese sandwich every day for lunch, then give him one. It’s food, he eats it, mission accomplished. There’s no reason the baby can’t have cheese spread on a bagel or sandwich either. The obsession with giving children something different every day is pure parent-guilt; they don’t need it. You admit yourself that you were having a Pret sarnie every day . Add some veg sticks or fruit and a fromage frais each and call it done.

As for dinner, sit down with your husband and the 4 year old and make a big list of every meal that you like to eat. We did this and came up with about 18 different dishes. Now, I don’t meal plan as such, but the list is on the board in the kitchen and I can look at it and think “when did we last have spag bol, 2 weeks ago, right that’s tonight’s tea planned”. If I cook something new and everyone loves it, it gets added to the list. It takes the stress out of thinking of something to make every single bloody day.

Breakfast- always porridge here
Lunch - eggs / tuna and salad stuff
Dinner - 7 day plan

I have made a list. That's what I buy. I usually make breakfast and lunch. We share dinner making , DH does more than me.

A one week plan is what you need. The only person who might complain is your DH. Super. Then it becomes his job

Lunch is no effort, breakfast is either cereal/granola/yogurt/crumpets, maybe some frozen croissants on Sunday. Lunch is soup or sandwich, or salad if I can be arsed. Dinner is usually freshly cooked but no posh recipe book cooking twattery, very much from a student cookbook, bung it all in type of meal, or stir fry. Freezer doesn’t have to be beige - plain fish filets with butter, wrapped in foil cook in 20 mins in the oven, served with frozen mash/rice and a veg from the freezer.

And if one meal is just bread and cheese, well, there’s fruit for snack and 2 other meals in the day to get veg from.

There are six of us here. 2 adulrs 4 dc (14,12,9,7). I have never pandered to fussiness. If they don't like it then they can pick out the bits they do like. We always have plenty of greek yogurt so they can have with some fruit if they are still hungry.
Everyone gets their own breakfast and there is only the option of porridge, toast and cereal although sometimes I make smoothies or the older ones will do eggs on toast.
I only cook properly one meal per day, generally dinner which is always from scratch. For lunch we often have cold meats, chopped veg, bread, crackers, cheese and pickles etc or sometimes jacket potatoes.kids can have one snack per day or as much fruit as they want.
I make a comprehensive shopping list at the beginning of the week and that's it. Sometimes we do need a top up but atm I buy extra bread etc for the freezer so my shop is overall more expensive but i don't need extras.

Don't make life hard for yourself. Get dh to cook a meal a couple of times a week. Put stuff in the freezer for times when you really can't be bothered.

I feel your stress OP, I am in the same boat with similar age kids, plus a toddler. It's being responsible for keeping it all going at all times, and having to plan ahead.

I can't really win in our household, I get berated for getting stressed about not having x or y but also get berated for spending too much in one shop because I've stocked up on cooking ingredients so we've got options for what to cook.

And yes the veg box causes stress as I don't like throwing anything out especially during these times but getting a leek as long and thick as my arm and having to find a use for things like a turnip week after week take its toll.

I’m so bored of cooking. I’ve been on mat leave so slightly different but under normal circs husband would eat breakfast and dinner out of the house and the 3 year old would have 3x3 meals at nursery. It does feel relentless at times having to sort food and tidy up.

You are definitely making your life harder with the baby though. Blw is a dream with second or subsequent children as they can just have the same as the older one. My baby is the easy one in the house re food. She’s the least picky out of everyone. No if she could just stop chucking stuff on the floor, we’d be sorted.