Would you want people visiting / cuddling your newborn?

[ImNotKaren]

Baby due in a few weeks, looking like lockdown may have finished in its current form but probably with restrictions. My MIL has already said she'll be visiting as soon as it's born. Also hearing similar sentiments from her other children (DH siblings) that they can't wait to meet the baby, give it a cuddle etc. It doesn't seem to have occurred to any of them that this might be an issue at the moment.

I'm nervous and feel uncomfortable about the idea. I'm not even sure if I will want anyone to cuddle the baby or even come within close proximity.

AIBU?

You put your foot down if you don’t feel comfortable. Don’t be pressured into things that you’re not comfortable with.

YANBU. I think we are all going to have to use our common sense when lockdown starts to lift. Realistically, are we isolating because we've been told to, or because we personally don't want to risk it? It's a judgement call and you're perfectly reasonable to still want to be cautious, just started sounding out that you'll have to see how things go.

Not a chance would I allow it.

Following as due in may and in the same situation ! Don't know what we are going to do yet.

Can you get some kind of letter from your midwife saying 'no visiting' during this time? Then at least you can show the stupid buggers an official letter saying you've been told not to allow it.

No fucking way. And tell them so right now of that’s how you feel. Lockdown will be at least 3 more weeks and then we might get transitional advice. If you’ve just given birth it’s you that will be vulnerable. I’d be saying no visitors for the first 4 weeks at least.

Put your foot down and say no. Lockdown may be lifted but it won’t go back to how it was before, we will all need to social distance yourselves for at least another 12 months.

In one ear out the other.... 100% agree with do not be pressured into things you're not comfortable with. If they complain, let them. You've a mini person to look out for...ignore them. You could send a text before hand to say that until things have settled down you wont be having any visitors/visiting anyone.

No - what part of lockdown, essential journeys only and self isolation does she not understand.

Honestly lockdown might still be in place. No one knows but I think it’s fair enough to be really cautious with a newborn. I’m due in 5 weeks and as sad as I am that family will have to wait a bit the safety of the baby comes first.

What? Haven't they seen the news

Of course, YANBU at all. I hope your OH is in agreement and already setting expectations way in advance. You need to keep you and your little one safe.

Nope. I wouldn’t be happy with my new born been passed around at any time but especially not at the moment.

I’d lock the door and say if they want to come and wave to you and see the baby through the window (I’m thinking like the lion king) then they can but that’s it

Their wish for a cuddle is understandable but no way does that wish override your baby’s health or, indeed, your wishes.
Baby will have an immature immune system and should not be exposed to any potential carrier of any virus.
Enjoy a few weeks of isolation and no concerns to be tidy for visitors.
FaceTime or Skype will have to do.

YANBU at all. Boundaries needed. It’s a huge shame for them but... Tough luck.

Babies don't seem to suffer. Should be fine IMHO

What? Haven't they seen the news?

To clarify my OP, the baby is due around 20th June so not imminently but at the same time not that long to go.

I don't think they will be meeting your baby in person for at least 8 months, ie, after the second wave in autumn. How do you feel?

No.
My baby is 3 months and my mum hasn’t met her yet and won’t do for months
She is not even asking.

I would bet that even once lockdown is lifted, we will all be asked to avoid all unnecessary social contact. Which would definitely include this.

Nope. My baby is 5 weeks old so was born just before lockdown and just before it got bad. I had my dad & partner visit, my brother and my bfs parents visit a few times, only on the basis that they had self isolated, but as they were still going out and to work I told them no more visits, the lockdown went on a week later. It's been tough, and it's been so sad them not seeing her cos she's grown so much already, but I need to keep my family safe until it's safe to do so.
Also something to consider is yourself and being in recovery, im 5 weeks post partum(obviously) after having an unplanned c section, I'm still in agony, I've coughed a few times (from dry air/dust) and it's so so painful so I'm scared of catching the virus.

I'm surprised it hasn't occurred to my MIL or the rest of the family.

What's your husband said?

It hadn't occurred to him either that this could be the case in June () but when I raised my concerns he said I was right to think that. He said we should wait and see the advice nearer the time. But don't worry, he will be fine to tell him Mum not to visit if it comes to that.