Would you want people visiting / cuddling your newborn?

[ImNotKaren]

Baby due in a few weeks, looking like lockdown may have finished in its current form but probably with restrictions. My MIL has already said she'll be visiting as soon as it's born. Also hearing similar sentiments from her other children (DH siblings) that they can't wait to meet the baby, give it a cuddle etc. It doesn't seem to have occurred to any of them that this might be an issue at the moment.

I'm nervous and feel uncomfortable about the idea. I'm not even sure if I will want anyone to cuddle the baby or even come within close proximity.

AIBU?

No fucking way.

Stand your ground OP.

@AmelieTaylor the above will come from the midwives and medics at the hospital when the baby is born. I'm not talking about government advice.

Above= advice

YANBU.

It’s not worth the risk. Plus, if you’re not comfortable with visitors (many women aren’t right after having a baby), then have your husband tell them that you both need a few days to get settled. Not a big thing. Besides, as others posters have said, social distancing will more than likely still be the norm by then and they’ll have to wait anyway to have their cuddles. Definitely wouldn’t want to risk you, baby, your husband or their health for a cuddle.

Regardless of COVID19 I think it should 100% be the mothers choice when people come and visit.
I'm due my second in 3 weeks and I'm secretly quite pleased the lockdown was extended because it's given me a good excuse to say no and actually feel better before people visit.
After my first some people just didn't seem to think, one of my friends turned up uninvited in the hospital and my MIL kept making comments about how out of it I was- (I had been in hospital for 6 days by this point, failed induction and emergency section at 2am!)
Don't let anyone come until you are ready. Stand your ground if you have to and don't leave your front door unlocked!

No way, please don't let them visit. V. Thoughtless of them. Good luck with the birth op xx

For your health too, not just the baby's

Having been in hospital, the baby might be more of a risk to the adults than the other way round!

I think it's fine to hold up baby to a window etc and just say you're not comfortable taking any unnecessary risks.

If were not still in lock down, social distancing will still be in place and only some shops and workplaces will be open.

Don't worry about it for now as they'll just keep going in about it and it will drive you mad. Nearer the time just make it clear that you don't want any visitors for x weeks depending on where we are at.

So many people still think lockdown will be lifted and life returns to normal. It won't be anything like normal till next year.

I have an extremely vulnerable adult daughter. My understanding is that lifting and reimposing lockdowns is all about managing levels of active infections in relation to the capacity of the NHS, not necessarily about the risk to any single individual.
In your shoes, I would wait until the baby is a more robust age before anyone not in your immediate household meets him or her. I’d follow advice as to the age based on what researchers are saying at the time, our knowledge is changing so fast.

The only other way, is if anyone who wants to meet the baby in the flesh, is able and willing to strictly self isolate for 14 days without symptoms (no shopping - no contact with people who are going out of the house) and then drive straight to you. You would have to trust that they had followed it to the letter.

My daughter will be shielded until either she receives a vaccination; or has an antibody test that indicates she has immunity. Mine is a very different scenario but I think a lot of people are wrongly equating relaxation of lockdown with lower risk.

It is such a shame for everyone, but if they care about the baby, they will accept the situation, - with sadness.

@saraclara

AmelieTaylor the above will come from the midwives and medics at the hospital when the baby is born. I'm not talking about government advice

What on Earth makes you think I was referring to your post out of the hundreds on the thread? A tad self important.

No. Thankfully my MIL who was determined to be at the birth and the hospital has been told she can't as only 1 partner allowed (my husband). She keeps asking to come round our house and despite being told no, she keeps saying we'll you'll have to let me when the baby is born. No we don't have to. My baby is due the end of June and I don't think things will be anywhere near back to normal by then.
I will be following the guidelines. If it means she can't see her grandson for a few weeks or longer then that's what will happen.
Of course I'd like them to meet, I'd like my own parents to as well but unfortunately safety of my baby and my older children comes first.
I have no idea why certain people view your baby as public property.

@Rosebel it sounds like lockdown will be useful in giving you some breathing space from MIL.

If you aren’t comfortable with it tell them your midwife has told you they can’t come.

I have a baby nearly 3 weeks old so they haven't met anyone outside of our household.

Thankfully in the current situation nobody has asked to come over. I don't know how the restrictions will be lifted but I don't know how we would manage it if we didn't feel safe to have people over but they thought that according to the new rules it would be fine. Well, I know how we would cope with it, we would obviously say no they can't come, but going about the conversation would be very awkward, especially since by the time the lockdown is lifted in any way the baby will probably not even be a newborn anymore and people will be fed up of waiting. I will just be worried certain people might have a strop over it.

That would be a big fat no from me! Even if there was no lockdown etc I didn't want people coming the first couple of days.

I’m due a bit before you and beside myself about this because my DH is a doctor and it’s not like I can stop him meeting his new child till a vaccine is available.

No I wouldn't. I might have Dparents and PIL to visit IF I trusted they'd been following the guidelines re social distancing and lock down, they were symptom free, hadn't visited anyone else since the end of lockdown AND they washed their hands. But no-one else.

Not a chance in hell. Assuming we'll still be in lockdown anyway for a while longer so it's likely we'll all still be at home then unable to visit anyone.

Even if we're not and restrictions have been lifted I still wouldn't allow it as anyone could be a carrier and potentially bring it in.

Just say no.
Just say no
And just say no....

I saw an interesting thread on Twitter from a virologist talking about newborns having a higher risk. If advice is to limit contact then as painful as that may be, that’ll have to continue.

My first was a robust baby. She didn’t pick anything up until about 9m old and then nothing until starting nursery at 13m. My second has been exposed to all the crap from the older one and has been very poorly including two hospitalisations. She possibly had Corona in March (A&E visit for dodgy breathing) but possibly just another bad reaction to a different virus. If I had a newborn, I wouldn’t be taking any risks at the moment.

Absolutely no way. No no and no. You're MIL needs to put her GC's health above her assumed entitlement to see the baby. It is hard for grandparents at this time, my parents are finding it hard not being able to see my 9 week old DD. When lockdown is lifted DH and I will be taking precautions to limit contact with anyone outside of our household to protect DD as the virus will still be knocking around and anyone could be carrier, even my parents as I know they will be going straight to the supermarket as soon as lockdown is lifted. Do what feels right for you and your baby.