Am I being mean?

[Rollercoasteride]

So its DH birthday in 2 weeks. He wants to spend £380 on a present himself (watch).

I think this is way too much, am I being unreasonable?

We 'could' afford it, although after lockdown ends we need lots of urgent jobs need doing in the house.

Also i am still feeling abit miffed he didn't get me anything for mothers day...due to CV...but he went shopping twice a few days before.

If you're still at the stage of life where you put yourself first all the time you probably shouldn't start a family tbh.

Not wanting to justify every purchase this way doesn’t necessarily mean not being responsible or providing for your family. Or maybe just meant not wanting to be told you can’t buy yourself something, if you can afford it, because your OH would rather spend the money on a new table cloth.

Selfish bastard

It actually really bothers me that the title to your post is Am I being mean?

He is being mean
He bought you generic flowers and chocolates for your birthday rather than something inexpensive but personal to you

He bought you nothing for mother’s day

He knows your financial situation. He knows a recession is on its way

Not only is he being mean but he is being selfish, inconsiderate and thick. Serious attitude change required from him

Just clarifying, when I mean to spend money on the house I mean essential things like the downstairs loo no longer work, this needs replacing, the shower has been broke for months, the kitchen tap has a massive leak, the front door is knackered and is hard to open.

I think things do need to change, not j
because of the watch, for many other reasons. I was asking if I was being unreasonable, as sometimes you doubt yourself. Things have been shit, am I being harsh? Etc x

No, no you're not being harsh.

The things you mention in the house that need work are more important and will add quality to both your lives. I think the watch should wait.

He needs to grow up and stop behaving like a selfish and spoilt brat.
If he has the £380 watch then you can also have a £360 piece of jewellery (you had £20 wine).
Smile and tell him you can choose both presents together.

I'd book the plumber for his birthday, cheeky fucker, if you need those jobs doing a watch is so far down the list it's unreal.
He's a knob.

Great idea, raspberry! Yes, I'd do that. 'It's a working loo!' 'It's a tap that doesn't leak and run up the water bill!' Put a bow on the working shower.

HavenDilemma I think I have mixed this up with another thread where the OP said she had five children - if that’s the case then I will take that comment back.

Having said that, I do think that episodes like this can be very indicative of somebody’s character and financial abuse usually starts as the thin edge of a wedge, which is why this attitude needs nipping in the bud now.

You have more monthly income right now but still won’t have your debts cleared UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR.

Now is not the time to be frittering what money you do have on expensive tech for one of you. That increase in income is burning a hole in your husband’s pocket and this bodes ill for the future.

Tell him he can have a bottle of wine and some crocs and that you won’t be wasting any money on luxuries until you are out of debt and have at the very minimum a couple of grand in savings.

Maybe sit down and go through what you have left every month and then decide what should be saved towards house renovations and what you can spend on yourselves? That way he can then save up for the watch with his share?

I dont know why people spend so much money on watches. They all tell the time.

Sheer wankery, I tell you.

It's really not a luxury item. The watch last for years.

Oh yes is bloody well is. Items are either a necessity or a luxury. No one needs a £380 watch. You can buy one to tell the time for well under £50 and you can use the phone you already possess for everything else.

Many luxury items last years. Your average Gucci handbag isn't going to drop to bits straight out of the shop, but it's definitely a luxury item.

Not wanting to justify every purchase this way doesn’t necessarily mean not being responsible or providing for your family.

Yes it does if you're 2 grand in debt, have no savings and have various home repairs that need doing.

You're not being harsh. We have plenty of savings but don't tend to spend that much on each other for birthdays. He didn't treat you on your birthday your financial situation isn't totally secure and you have some essential spending coming so no he can't have a hugely expensive watch.