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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being mean?

117 replies

Rollercoasteride · 17/04/2020 18:08

So its DH birthday in 2 weeks. He wants to spend £380 on a present himself (watch).

I think this is way too much, am I being unreasonable?

We 'could' afford it, although after lockdown ends we need lots of urgent jobs need doing in the house.

Also i am still feeling abit miffed he didn't get me anything for mothers day...due to CV...but he went shopping twice a few days before.

OP posts:
Snidpan · 17/04/2020 19:30

"let's BOTH get watches!"

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/04/2020 19:32

The chocolates and wine are a Mother’s Day gift at best. He is being vvu. Basically you shared your gifts with him and now he expects a new toy. With no savings, I’d wait until Christmas and see if you both have jobs still.

diddl · 17/04/2020 19:45

"Works for us,"

Well, that's the main thing.

We rarely do presents anymore!

FilthyforFirth · 17/04/2020 19:45

UGH. Why do women put up with this? Of course it isn't ok that he wants to spend the bare minimum on you whilst getting luxury items himself.

Honestly my DH, and most decent men would never think this was ok.

Thelittleweasel · 17/04/2020 19:51

I am always amazed that anyone could spend so much on a watch or other "possession". What does it do but tell the time. Dear friend who I worked with had lived all his life without a watch. Always up at 500am to get train . Never late for anything.

@Rollercoasteride

Original poster
Rollercoasteride · 17/04/2020 19:58

@Frozenfan2019 I think its the lack of effort on his part for me that annoys me. He could of baked a cake, atleast some effort would have been made.

He has just asked DS what he was getting him for his birthday ha ha

We also have DS birthday in june and fathers day (he can have nothing like I did) x

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollercoasteride · 17/04/2020 19:59

@Thelittleweasel it's one of those smart watches..does lots apparently Hmm

OP posts:
Oldraver · 17/04/2020 20:08

Surely you pay off debts before spunking on a fancy watch ?

peppermintcapsules · 17/04/2020 20:12

He just got into a strop saying he wouldn't have anything then lol

I'd let him have nothing then. YANBU.

diddl · 17/04/2020 20:15

I think if you can afford it then spend whatever you want!

I couldn't spend that much with no savings & a credit card bill!

WithIcePlease · 17/04/2020 20:19

With no savings? No way would that happen here - either from me or DH

3xmother · 17/04/2020 20:22

If your husband is happy, you and the kidsare happy too. Let him have it and tell him how happy you are that he bought that gift for himself. He will never ever say nothing back to you again ❤️

Hopeisnotastrategy · 17/04/2020 20:23

Please take some serious advice from (probably) an older lady, who is in a very happy marriage, but has had to nip some of this in the bud from time to time. (with knobs on in terms of spend).

Tell him to get to fuck, and that you refuse to be the Cinderella in your relationship. Keep repeating it very crossly till he gets that this is not going to make his life happy. And please do not have any more children with this person, you are making yourself very vulnerable.

peppermintcapsules · 17/04/2020 20:30

I agree with Hope entirely. No savings, debt, in this economic environment? Utterly selfish and stupid to blow this on a watch.

LagunaBubbles · 17/04/2020 20:36

We dont really have savings, plus I have a credit card bill too

So how on earth can you afford a £380 watch? Confused

HavenDilemma · 17/04/2020 20:40

As a parent I simply couldn't justify spending that on myself. I'd end up spending it on my daughter!

HedgehogHotel · 17/04/2020 20:40

You got chocolate and wine for your bday, nothing for mother's day, you're in debt, and he wants to spend £400 on a fucking watch for himself?

Selfish git.

Crimsonnightlotus · 17/04/2020 20:41

£380 on watch is not that expensive, if, like you say, you can afford it. It will make him feel good. Same as woman feel good wearing a expensive ring, or earring, or whatever.

HavenDilemma · 17/04/2020 20:43

@Hopeisnotastrategy Hang on, you're telling her not to have anymore children with this man, and that she's "making herself very vulnerable"
all because he wants to buy himself something a bit pricey?!?! WTF?!!?

She hasn't mentioned abuse for goodness sake! Overreaction is an understatement there! HmmHmmHmm

Neveranynamesleft · 17/04/2020 20:45

I dont know why people spend so much money on watches. They all tell the time.

BeNiceToYourSister · 17/04/2020 20:47

Tell him to get to fuck, and that you refuse to be the Cinderella in your relationship.

^exactly.

£380 is a fuckload of money if you’ve got no savings, especially now!

peppermintcapsules · 17/04/2020 20:48

Oh, god, yes, it will make the poor dear feel good! I know feeling good is great for paying bills and debts. Why not tell your creditor that? 'I can't pay the bill this month, I needed to blow the money I owe you on feeling good.'

ScarletFever · 17/04/2020 20:49

380 on a watch is loads of money

peppermintcapsules · 17/04/2020 20:51

I think the line about not being the Cinderella in the relationship is spot on, though, I really do.

Everydayishistorytomorrow · 17/04/2020 21:01

OP are you the reason your financial situation has improved or is he? This does make a difference. If his good fortune was the reason you were able to clear your debts and you have more money coming in monthly, then he deserves it. However if you are the reason for the good fortune he's taking the piss.