to be a bit gutted about all the things I won't be able to do with my 18 month old?

[caradelvigna]

I'll start by saying I completely understand why lockdown is necessary and I am not complaining about it. It doesn't stop me however from being gutted about all the things I won't be able to do with my son. He's only 18 months old. We had a holiday booked and two festivals (one of which is specifically designed for kids). It's such a special age and amazing for their development. I am 100% sure he has no idea what's going on and he is perfectly happy. I've just felt a bit tearful today. Partly because this situation is so awful and I have terrible anxiety, and partly because I'm sad me and my son will lose out on lots of experiences at the lovely age he is now. In guessing most things will be in lockdown for the foreseeable future. Really struggling with him at home and realising that the silver lining is that we will appreciate things so much more when this is over. Is anyone else feeling the same?

Yes. DS is 18 months in May and he is missing out on 2 days nursery a week, seeing both sets of grandparents, a holiday in North Wales this week and probably 2 nights at Alton Towers in June - we were taking him to CBeebies land. He even loves the library once a week and we can't do that!

It was Peppa Pig world for us!

Right now he is still happy in a pushchair but anything like that that involving days out that gets pushed to next year will be so much harder work!

I'm not worrying about it being harder work as such, I am just letting go of the idea of being able to experience certain things with him at 18-24 months. Where he's not really talking, and is so amazed by everything without really understanding what's going on. It'll still be great when he's 3 but not quite the same. It's far better than the alternative of having no lockdown and things being even worse than they are now, however doesn't stop me feeling a bit down about it.

I honestly would not worry about children of that age missing out.

They won’t remember any of this stuff anyway.

They’re perfectly happy hanging out with you and doing simple things at home.

I have an almost two year old. He’s never had a better day than Easter Sunday. All he wanted to do was look for eggs in our postage stamp garden. All freaking day. We just kept hiding them . He misses his grandparents, but apart from that, he’s having a ball.

A friend has a child the same age. It’s his birthday, she just posted pics of him having a ‘balloon’ party and he’s clearly loving every second.

It’s very simple things that make them happy at this age.

I know what you mean OP, for all the people who say that a toddler is happy in the local park, I've always really enjoyed going out and about with DS and he likes doing these things too.

Some stuff might be rearranged- we were due to go to a children's festival in June which is now in August.

It's ok to feel disappointed, I think acknowledging your feelings is important. DS told me he misses going to the farm park, we have an annual pass so we go weekly. He's two but he's entitled to miss things too.

I feel for you, I really do and I think this is very, very tough on parents of young children. This is a very unnatural situation for humans to be in and ultimately it is not sustainable. There is being alive and there is living. I think anyone claiming NOT to be feeling anxious at times is being economical with the truth. Nothing wrong with complaining either it is important to be able to vent without judgement. Hang on in there, you are not alone and others certainly empathize. Parents supporting parents is what we need right now.

Yep very much agree with you. DS is 18 months, we were taking him to Mr tumble at butlins (he loves him) which has been cancelled and center parcs which has been rearranged. As much as I will enjoy it in Sept, there was something special about him practicing his walking around centerparcs and now it will be running.
I feel I'm doing him a disservice but I can't keep him entertained to the level I usually would all day every day. As a result, he is fancinated by the flys that come into our living room when the window is open!
I know he won't remember but I will.

I’m trying to look at it from another point of view. I have a 17 month old. I’m so grateful he’s not older and doesn’t understand and won’t remember this. I’m so happy he’s not younger...I wouldn’t have coped on maternity leave and lockdown. I think he’s at a great age for lockdown. He’s so happy walking and playing in the local park and feeding the birds. He doesn’t know that he’s missing holidays and he sees his extended family on the iPad. In fact he’s spending so much more time with us than he was. DP is furloughed and although I’m still working full time, my work isn’t busy and I am home much more than I was (away 40 hours a week rather than 50 plus). It’s sad he’s missing nursery but at this age it doesn’t make much difference I don’t think (and I’ve read that too in various places that nursery doesn’t matter until they are 2 or 3). He seems so happy right now.

I would be grateful he’s 18 months.
He won’t remember any of it and at that age you are his world so can make his world magical without leaving home.
It’s harder with older children.

I think he’s at a great age for lockdown.

I totally agree with this

Someone today was telling me about how much their 9 year old was missing her friends and I think it’s much, much harder for the older ones.

At 18 months, he mainly wants to be with you and that’s a real blessing.

Yep I completely agree - my DD is 9 months and we had so many plans over the summer before I go back to work in July

I completely agree and think it would be harder on older kids. 18 months is a hard age to be stuck at home for parents though. Especially lone parents. My son will be fine, I know he will. I'm really struggling though.

Imagine all the fun you can have doing those things next year when he is that bit older and more able to engage and enjoy them?

I do think in most cases being young enough to not realise that things are different is best

I'm really struggling though.

I get this, it’s hard.

We’re doing a walk to the park everyday which helps.

Also would your DC sit and watch tv at all? Needs must at the minute, mine will do about half an hour (he’s a bit older) and that gives me a break.

He has no interest in tv whatsoever, but is becoming obsessed with my phone which I am on all the time for work 🤦🏽‍♀️

I agree with the others saying it won't be bad for him, he probably loves spending time with you and learning all the little everyday things toddlers enjoy. I'm sure it's much harder for you than him.

@LaurieMarlow that's wonderful reminds me so much of DS at that age.

He will be able to enjoy all those things better when he’s older. At 18 months he will retain no memories and will be just as happy with a walk or playing with toys.

He'll enjoy all those things this time next year. Focus on enjoying the things you can do at home with him now.

18 months is a perfect age for lock down . They get excited with a pot and a spoon or a bird in the garden . I’ve a two year old who is going through the terrible twos but easy to distract. I have a 7 year old who is missing out on school , friends , grandparents and the general living of life.
And then you have ppl with teenagers which o think would be the hardest . They know exactly what is going on in the world and they probably go to bed later than their parents so no peace at all !

If you can't spare your phone, get a kindle. These are unusual times and you've got to get through them.

My youngest GC is a bit older and there's a lovely age between her and her older Sibling. I am sad for what they'll miss out on. She had her first set of Birthday parties to go to. I know it's some people's idea of hell but we were going to Blackpool with another family of similar aged children and i know that the children would have loved it. With the weather as it is, we would have got a last minute caravan in Wales and used a family member's caravan in Yorkshire. It isn't quite the same once they are over 3.

For toddlers 18 months is the perfect age for lockdown. For lone parents who have no childcare and have to work from home , I'm not so sure 😅

I guess it's just the fact that they're only little once...