to be a bit gutted about all the things I won't be able to do with my 18 month old?

[caradelvigna]

I'll start by saying I completely understand why lockdown is necessary and I am not complaining about it. It doesn't stop me however from being gutted about all the things I won't be able to do with my son. He's only 18 months old. We had a holiday booked and two festivals (one of which is specifically designed for kids). It's such a special age and amazing for their development. I am 100% sure he has no idea what's going on and he is perfectly happy. I've just felt a bit tearful today. Partly because this situation is so awful and I have terrible anxiety, and partly because I'm sad me and my son will lose out on lots of experiences at the lovely age he is now. In guessing most things will be in lockdown for the foreseeable future. Really struggling with him at home and realising that the silver lining is that we will appreciate things so much more when this is over. Is anyone else feeling the same?

[Emmacb82]

Try not to feel sad about all the things you’re missing out on. To be honest, things like Peppa pig world/Alton towers etc are so much better enjoyed when the kids are a bit older. At that age is more for the parents. I took my 2 year old to Peppa pig world and he was grumpy and doesn’t remember any of it. We took him to CBeebies world just before he turned 4 and he loved it and still talks about it now.
Maybe start to think about all the things you would like to do when this is over. They won’t remember this time, they will just be loving the fact that you’re at home and with them all the time x

[opticaldelusion]

Kids don't need loads of special experiences when they're one. These are for you, not him. He's exploring and learning all the time simply by being alive. Seriously. Kids weren't going to child-oriented festivals in the 1970s. They are not essential, trust me.

[Umnoway]

I’m pregnant and have a 17 month old. I was so looking forward to making the most of the last few months with him but it’s probably not going to happen now. We went to groups 1-3 times a week which now probably won’t happen for months. I don’t think he gives a hoot but I really miss it.

[Porcupineinwaiting]

Dont worry OP, he'll be little for some time yet. And all ages are special until they are teenagers.

[opticaldelusion]

Here's another equally valid perspective... I'm actually enjoying lockdown because the pressure to give my child 'amazing, developmental experiences' has disappeared. You do realise that most of these essential things that children must do are mainly dreamt up by businesses?

[Porcupineinwaiting]

And YY - small children dont need lots of special experiences - but parents do. Ds1 remembers nothing about his first trip to the zoo or beach - but I do and they are among my fondest memories.Luckily postponing these sorts of firsts wont make them any less special.

[capercaillie]

He wouldn’t remember any of that! He’ll be happy pottering at home and being with you!

[LaurieMarlow]

I guess it's just the fact that they're only little once

This best things they can think of at that age are bubbles in the garden and feeding the birds.

All the other stuff is more about the parents than the kids at that point. By all means be sad for yourself. But please don’t worry about him missing out. He’s delighted to be with you all the time.

[Rainbowchampagne]

I hear you OP, but I bet he’s having a lovely time with you!

I have a 6 week old and I’m heartbroken her grandparents are missing out as she is changing so much.

I’m also gutted that I won’t get to go to any groups and meet other mums, I presume the won’t go back to normal anytime soon.

I’m trying to look at the positives that I am getting to enjoy her all by myself and soak up all the cute babyness, but it’s bloody hard

[MsTSwift]

He’s totally unaware I would be relieved if I were you. Try sitting with an 11 year old when she realises all the year 6 leavers events she has looked forward to literally for years wont happen for her. Or the poor kids doing GCSEs and a levels. Missing list a level summer. The other years I wouldn’t be that worried about - dd1 is year 9 not bothered about her missing that really. Years 6 11 and 13 you remember your whole life.

[yatapina]

I'm offering a gentle YABU OP.

Of course it's a crappy situation but with a bit of perspective anyone can see that it's really not the end of the world. Whether you do these things at 18 months or 18 years you'll be able to experience and enjoy them with him, you've a lifetime to make memories. This is such a short period of time.

Work may take longer and her may be a bit restless but at that age YOU are his world so don't stress about everything else. We are key workers so have had to change our working hours - I try and fail to do work with my 7yo and an ASD 14yo through the day whilst DH is at work then I go out to work at night. I miss putting my kids to bed but keep telling myself it's not forever!

[MaryShelley1818]

OP I feel exactly like you. DS is 28mths old and yes he enjoys the low key stuff like baking, painting, garden fun etc He also really loves going to the zoo, swimming and holidays! We went to Disneyland Paris twice last year and he absolutely loved it, he was amazed every minute and loves the rides.

He's missing Nursery, his Grandparents, our weekly activities with friends, we've missed a trip to Barcelona last month where he was really excited to go to the Aquarium, missed a trip to Holland next month where we were due to go to Efteling and we also have a beach holiday later in the year which looks unlikely. I'm just so very sad at everything he's missing out on while he's little (I'm a front line worker so understand fully the more important things that are being lost).

[MaryShelley1818]

The argument about children not remembering anything is just bizarre. Why does it matter if they remember it as long as they have fun and enjoy it at the time. I don't remember my first trip to Walt Disney World at age 11 (over 30yrs ago) but I can look at the photos and am certain it was the best time ever and I absolutely loved it!

[Temp123999]

Try being locked down with teens who are missing out on school, school trips Holidays and if they are due to do GCSES or A-levels they must be incredibly anxious.
Plus also missing cousins and grandparents.
Toddlers really won't notice.

[sittingonacornflake]

I'm trying to look at it positively. I have a just turned 2 year old and am also a lone parent. When I returned to work after maternity leave I fully thought that was the last time I'd ever have An extended time with my son to see all the every day moments.... well, every day. But now I'm working from home and although it's HARD (Like really hard) trying to juggle it all, I've got my time back again! To cuddle and snuggle and giggle with my DS every single day. No long commute. More energy. More time to enjoy simple pleasures with him. I think it's a special age to be locked down with and an age that they benefit the most from being with their parents.

[MsTSwift]

All most 18 monthers want to do is be near their parents and potter about playing. Get the parents struggling because of isolation and not being able to meet up with other parents that would be tough. But the kids themselves aren’t missing out.

[caradelvigna]

I'm not trying to create a race to the bottom. Simply just feeling sad that I won't get to experience certain things with my son whilst he's at this lovely age. I stated in my OP that he's fine and perfectly happy. Of course he won't remember these things, but it doesn't mean that it's not gutting to not be able to do them with him. Equally I acknowledge it's hard being stuck at home as a teenager. They're two entirely different scenarios.

[IHaveAMagicBean]

My daughter had to cancel her hen party, then her actual wedding
Dh and I have missed our weekend away for our wedding anniversary.
Then we have to miss Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Michael Buble and probably Elton John which we booked in 2018, so, two years ago .
My husband is missing out on walking our daughter down the aisle, let’s hope he is still alive for her wedding next year. What with his heart disease, it’s not certain.

An 18 month old will remember nothing.

[caradelvigna]

Again, not trying to create a race to the bottom.

[Nurse1980]

I’m the same. Was looking forward to doing lots of things with my 4 year old before she starts school in September.

[hammeringinmyhead]

I thought it was fairly clear that OP was as much upset for missing out herself as she was for her toddler.

I don't particularly care whether he remembers everything we do until his 18th birthday. May as well have sat in the lounge watching Homes Under the Hammer for my entire maternity leave if that's the attitude.

[cherrybunx0]

I don't think it necessarily has to he a competition with who is missing out the most..OPs feelings are still perfectly valid..
i feel the same, have a 5 month old who is starting to do all sorts and I'm going back to work soon. sad my mum is missing on seeing some of it (rolling, learning to sit up, soon to be weaning etc.) as it's her first grandchild.

so yanbu x

[peachgreen]

I totally sympathise with it being hard work OP and I don't dispute it (DD is 2 and a bit so I know how tough it is). But I actually think for working parents getting to spend so much time with them at this lovely age is a real privelege. I know that sounds cheesy and I'm not downplaying how tough this is - but I do feel lucky that DD is this age where she's easily entertained, changing every day and content just to be with me.

[caradelvigna]

I've missed out on a lot too, theatre with my 18 month old for a kids show, holiday with him, two festivals, time with family members, time with his great grandma who may also not be alive after lockdown. It's shit for all of us but does bother me a bit when people use their own experiences to make other people feel like they aren't allowed to feel the way they do about their own situation... I completely agree that there are so many ways that many people are suffering. In general I am just happy that I am healthy and ok. Sad that others may not be. Just had a fleeting moment (or a few fleeting moments) of sadness today, that's all.