Was ex BU and dangerous to do this?

[Oscarthegrouch47]

Just a quick one to gauge opinion. Would you find it acceptable if your ex left dc age 8 alone in the car while he popped into a supermarket for one item? No queue. Car doors locked. Reckons he was no longer than 5-10 minutes.

I feel really uncomfortable about it but ex is arguing that it was safer than taking him into the shop where there's more change of exposure. Dc is sensible and could be trusted not to open doors. Asked dc and he wasn't phased at all but I could never imagine doing this.

With all the unusual circumstances at the minute I just don't know whether my ex was being unreasonable or if he has a valid argument.

Your Ds shouldn’t be your world, you know. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a child.

Being overprotective to the point that you try to police what a presumably perfectly capable father chooses to do when his own child is in his care, is not good for your child. You can wrap your child in cotton wool if it makes you feel better, but you should acknowledge that you’re doing it for you, and not for them. Children should be allowed to learn to be sensible, to practice independence and feel capable of looking after themselves well, and they won’t learn to do that if you’re constantly freaking out.

@Tomoveornotomove2 is being absolutely ridiculous.

I wouldn’t do it myself, but I wouldn’t judge anyone who did.

No, because cars can spontaneously catch fire. It's rare but it happens. Never lock anyone inside a car without the means to get out. If you ex decided to do this, better to leave the car unlocked, though that exposes the child to different risks. Best of all, take the child in and observe social distancing.

Imagine if ex had suddenly collapsed and been whisked to hospital; what would have befallen the child? Total lack of imagination puts people at risk. He put his own child at risk. He was BU.

Hmmmm yes, because conversely, actually driving or being a passenger in a car isn’t dangerous at all...I’m surprised anyone uses cars at all, with all the spontaneous fires happening.

It's fine. I would and have done. U leave my 6 year old in the house with my 10 and 11 year old to go shopping, although it's slightly different because it's a rural supermarket and is a less than 1 min car journey. My eldest is super sensible the other two are well behaved so it feels less risky for me than shopping with them, especially since my youngest does the odd unthinking think like resting his chin on the chest freezer doors that are face high in the shop etc. They can phone me if there's a problem. But 8 in a car for 10 mins? Absolutely fine.

I would and have left my 8 year old in the car alone while I shop. Not a big weekly shop but more than a single item.

He’s fine with a phone to watch and the windows open if it’s a warm day.

8 is old enough to know not to go with a stranger, not to get out and play in the car park, to not play with the handbrake. It’s also old enough to know know how to open a car door and get out if the car spontaneously catches fire.

Of course, if the car explodes or a aeroplane engine falls on it he’s fucked, so I guess I just hate my own son.

Its as if people don’t want there kids

Yes, that's a perfectly reasonable conclusion to draw are you prone to ridiculous flights of fancy?

"No dc doesn't walk to school alone or play out yet without me."

Do you have a garden?

If I saw a CHILD , not a teenager in a car alone with no parent in sight I’d definitely be on the phone to someone.

Who would you phone?

Are you kidding? My eight year old would walk to school herself. She’s more than capable of being left alone in the car. And people wonder why there are kids unable to do anything for themselves 🙄

@Wewearpinkonwednesdays The A Team?

Fine. We did all this stuff when we were wee and it did us no harm.

Sounds fine to me

Totally fine unless 8 year old has sen

Would have done it before. Definitely would have done it now

I don't have a problem with this but people banging on about the op not letting him play out alone must not realise that not everyone live s in a lovely little village or a nice cul de sac. We live in London not a chance would I let my 8 yr old play out alone. Also he's school wouldn't let him walk there alone, no r would I

I would say ex did the right thing as long as the car could be opened from inside. I can't believe how many cars seem so spontaneously combustible though!

Totally fine, I do it all the time. I think the main risk at the moment is the car overheating so make sure a window is open and a bottle of water. I definitely don't lock them in though. The risk of anyone attempting to abduct or interfere with an 8 year old in a supermarket car park in the middle of the day is vanishingly small. Presumably your child knows to make a noise and alert a passer by if anything untoward were to happen?

My goodness, this is totally fine!

Yes I would at the moment leave my 8yo in car over taking him in a shop

I did this a few weeks ago with my dc aged 6 and 8. Both sensible. Put the windows down a but, radio on. Went into supermarket 10 mins top. It was tesco and I could see the car at each isle. To be honest it was the first time I've done it.