Was ex BU and dangerous to do this?

[Oscarthegrouch47]

Just a quick one to gauge opinion. Would you find it acceptable if your ex left dc age 8 alone in the car while he popped into a supermarket for one item? No queue. Car doors locked. Reckons he was no longer than 5-10 minutes.

I feel really uncomfortable about it but ex is arguing that it was safer than taking him into the shop where there's more change of exposure. Dc is sensible and could be trusted not to open doors. Asked dc and he wasn't phased at all but I could never imagine doing this.

With all the unusual circumstances at the minute I just don't know whether my ex was being unreasonable or if he has a valid argument.

No I couldnt get upset about that. I leave dd 7 and 10 in the car for a longer shop at the moment. In the circumstances they are safer and so are the others in the shop imo. Currently I don't leave 7 yo alone (unless nipping in to glass fronted local store and I'm parked directly outside) but in a year I probably would.

Re the locked doors, my car doors are only locked from the outside. The lock from inside is released by operating the door handle. All my cars have been the same

It probably depends on a lot on where you live.

I’ve often left my DS playing on my phone in the car when going shopping as he hates traipsing around the supermarket. However I live in a rural part of Ireland with a very low crime rate and rarely lock my doors at night. The dog would go nuts if anyone drove down our drive/boreen and my concern about escaping in a fire at night is greater than my fear of intruders.

I‘d be far more wary if I was still living in Bristol.

It's fine.

Absolutely not!. I was witness to my SIL’s car bursting into flames on the driveway with both her 2 year old twins strapped in the rear seat. Luckily the car was not locked and BIL and DH got them out in a matter of seconds before the whole car went up in flames within minutes. The investigation showed it was an electrical wiring fault. I couldn’t sleep for months after, at what could have happened!. It could happen to anyone!

It sounds like you want to find something to take offense over, to be honest. Really, an 8 year old alone in a car for 5 minutes? Get over yourself.

At 8 years old I think it would be fine

Just to add to the chorus 'It's fine" :)

An 8yo is fine In the car as long as it isn’t left running. If there is a problem he can get out and ask for help.

I left dd in the car briefly at that age even before taking her into a store became verboten.

For goodness sake. He is 8 years, not 8 months. He should be more than capable of sitting in a car for ten minutes sensibly while his Father goes into a supermarket.
Children being given no responsibility for them selves, within the parameters of their capabilities, is why we have adults that are not capable of being adults.
Let them grow up.

8?! Of course that's okay

Yes I would. At eight years old many kids are out playing alone, riding bikes in the road, going over the park etc. I fail to see how they are in more danger sitting in a car for ten minutes.

I think it's fine too. As long as the child is comfortable with it, it's good to let them get some independance.

My DS (12 but with ASD) went to the shop by himself the other day and he was so proud of himself afterwards. It was a big boost for him and a sort of achievement milestone. He only started getting the bus to school by himself after the first half term

I wouldn’t. I’d also be annoyed that ex couldn’t plan ahead to shop when his child wasn’t there.

I don’t think he did anything awful and at least he had a reason, but as said above there are risks eg fire, and dodgy people(who are well able to trick a young child into opening a car door).

Dont ever let him out of the house, OP. Bad things have happened to people outside in the past, so you cant be too careful.

Clearly none of you have see a parked car burst into flames without warning! I have.
There is also the posiblity of another driver accidentaly running into the car whilst parked. This happed to me and caused £2000 worh of damage and moved my car several feet.

I wouldn't normally but under current circumstances I left my 9 yo and his iPad in the car for 20 mins while I did a shop the other day. He didn't want to come in as has SEN and the supermarket made him nervous. He's sensible thankfully and he could contact me if he needed to. I think it's fine.

@slipperywhensparticus Why the hell would you not? What is a stupid question! How about to keep the child safe from potentially getting kidnapped?
OP, normally I would say you’re feeling is right but given the circumstances we face, your ex made the right choice.

It's within the range of things I haven't done myself but wouldn't think twice if someone else told me they had.

I'm really not sure why this has had to descend into petty, snipey comments or insinuations that I desperately want to fall out with my ex based on absolutely no back story or history. Slating me for not letting him play out without even knowing where we live....wtf 😂

Honestly this unnecessary, mean spirited bitchiness is why people take the piss out of MN so much.

I asked a question - would you be ok with it? I just wanted to gauge opinions. Of course the likelihood of anything bad happening is small but it's still possible. I wouldn't do this and just wanted to see if others would. A simple yes or no and reasoning is fine. There's absolutely no need for the 'get over yourself comments' or sarcasm.

Very sorry if I have offended anyone with my 'overprotectiveness' but my ds is my world and I just want to keep him safe. I'm finding things tough at the moment with all the anxiety surrounding this pandemic and as I stated in my original post my judgement may be slightly off right now.

I thank everyone for the sensible and helpful comments. For those who have been arseholes for the sake of it, we are living through a pandemic...maybe try and be a little kinder at least for now.

We used to do this, but we'd come back to find them like statues when they set the alarm off . Best to leave the keys with them we found.

Yes I would be fine with it. An 8 year old isn’t going to be abducted from a locked car in a supermarket car park.

OP you asked a question but didn’t really want to hear replies.

You shouldn’t leave your child where you can’t see them, this isn’t popping for a quick shower or your out in your garden.

If I saw a CHILD , not a teenager in a car alone with no parent in sight I’d definitely be on the phone to someone.

Its as if people don’t want there kids

But yeah I’ll be kind and take my kids in the super market :) like a good parent

@Tomoveornotomove2 I'm not sure you've read my post or indeed the full thread properly. It wasn't me who left him, it was my ex. I've said I was uncomfortable with that and I've been told here by the vast majority that I'm over reacting and it's fine.

I absolutely did want to hear replies. I just didn't really think the sarcasm, rudeness and assumptions were necessary.