Was ex BU and dangerous to do this?

[Oscarthegrouch47]

Just a quick one to gauge opinion. Would you find it acceptable if your ex left dc age 8 alone in the car while he popped into a supermarket for one item? No queue. Car doors locked. Reckons he was no longer than 5-10 minutes.

I feel really uncomfortable about it but ex is arguing that it was safer than taking him into the shop where there's more change of exposure. Dc is sensible and could be trusted not to open doors. Asked dc and he wasn't phased at all but I could never imagine doing this.

With all the unusual circumstances at the minute I just don't know whether my ex was being unreasonable or if he has a valid argument.

I've done this with DS7. Absolutely fine. You probably need to chill a bit.

My mum used to leave me in the car at 5 when I was a kid to pop into a shop quickly although she could see me from the shop.

I'm fine with this. I'm a single parent and I weighed up the odds of leaving them in the car, whilst I did a top up shop of the basics (bread, milk, fruit, fresh food) outside a Tesco's express - I am no more then 5 minutes or take them in with me. They are sensible kids and the doors are locked. Mine are 7&9.

Under normal circumstances they would come in the shop.

He's 8. 10 minutes alone in the car is fine. Honestly.

Absolutely fine. And safer at the moment than taking her into the supermarket

Yes, Lock the car but make sure to show child how to unlock it from inside for safety reasons, after reminding them only to unlock in a real emergency

I would feel the same as you, OP.

My extremely sensible 8yo was left alone (with friend) at a friend's house for 5-10 mins recently while friends' mum popped out to shop. I wasn't sure how to feel about it at the time, but have decided that it's probably about the right age to start letting her have a bit more independence.

It's a transition age, and I wonder if you feel uncomfortable because ex has made the decision unilaterally?

My main issue would be if dc was tempted to mess with the handbrake. Otherwise it probably is sensible to leave in the car in current conditions. Dh had words with 2 people when he took dd into shop and the people broke social distancing in regards to dd. One of them jumped ahead of him in the checkout queue, apologised then continued to unload his trolley. The other just grunted continued having at tins on the shelf. He had to take her as no child care and he wasn't happy for her to stand outside. You're not unreasonable to worry but in terms of options that was probably the best one.

I'm a lone parent and made the decision to go to very local shop and 20 mins and leave my children home alone. It seemed a better option than the others. I wouldn't in normal circumstance.

My eldest is 13. But has ASD. And would go to the neighbours if they needed someone.

My youngest is 8 and I had her on face time.

Absolutely fine.

If possible I'd leave them with a mobile for entertainment or to call help if they needed the loo, got scared or adult delayed.

You sound very overprotective. No-one could get to him in the car, he could get out in an emergency, and he was protected from contact with the virus in the supermarket..it was absolutely the correct decision.
And he's eight, not three!

I did it with my 7year olds the other week. It was a small co-op and i was only nipping in so was only 10 mins. Totally fine.

Your ex was reasonable. He is only unreasonable if it caused your DC to be terrified. If your DC was fine with it, then you should be. I would not risk taking DC with me either.

As much as I would want to lock the car - if I locked my car with DC in it - then if they moved a sensor goes off in the car and the alarm goes off. I did that in the petrol station once [very embarassed!] .

I think it is fine but then I am the generation where it was normal to be left in the car with a coke and bag of crisps whilst mum and dad were in the pub.

I was walking to the shops alone before this age when I was a child.

This is totally fine, if the child knows not to touch the controls of the car

He’s eight years old, not eight months.

I understand you’re searching for reasons to dig at your ex’s parenting skills but this isn’t one

It's fine except for him locking the car. What if it went on fire?

Fine. Especially under current circumstances.

I would have taken him in to the shop, however if he was comfortable waiting in the car I don't see a problem.

I'm more concerned that you don't allow him to play outside without hovering, actually.

It's fine except for him locking the car. What if it went on fire?

How many cars spontaneously combust in the supermarket carpark? I would assume attempted child abductions are more likely than car fires.

When people talk about "playing out" do they mean outside in a garden, or out on the street? To me it means out in on the street,but that's very different to in a back garden.

I would and have done this under non-CV conditions, especially when he is reading and would rather carry on than traipse around the shops.

For the PP that asked why lock it - I do it so that a) if my son does try to get out it sets of the alarm so I am aware that he needs something, and b) because I don't want anyone with lesser nefarious intentions (stealing the stero/change/whole car) to be able to do that more easily than they would if my child wasn't inside it!

It's fine except for him locking the car. What if it went on fire?

I think cars can be opeded from the inside even when locked. Unless there's child locks on.

Ok it's MN so I guess the overprotective jibes and insinuations I want to have a pop at my ex are to be expected but it's not true. Well maybe I am a bit overprotective...sorry for caring

I can't help the fact that I feel uncomfortable about it but I don't want to row with my ex over it either. This is why I posted, to see what other people thought about it.