To think this wedding (as it's been planned) won't be going ahead!

[mighthavefinallylostit]

Oldest friend is getting her dream wedding in early July - In Europe with friends and family (from all over the world - including me, one of her bridesmaids) she is adamant it will all be over by then and the wedding will go ahead as planned. AIBU to think it won't, suppliers may have gone bust, family / friends may not be able to travel / some countries may still ban international travel - the list is endless. Of course she can get married, have a beautiful wedding but it might be wise to explore some alternatives?
I'm heartbroken for her, but don't know how to softly break it to her that I (as well as many other guests, may not be able to travel as planned) or AIBU and a bit of a wedding grinch?!

Nobody will be getting their lonely back for the flights and hotels anyway until it is officially cancelled - and by that I lean official travel advice remains the same / flights get cancelled ! They are doing that On a month by month basis - so really there’s not much can be done until closer to the time! The amount of people who are so negative on here though. It’s horrible! Some people like to remain hopeful that things will be better sooner rather than later - even if that is wishful thinking and unlikely!

Money - not lonely ! Haha

I've been invited to a July wedding and they are still optimistic about it going ahead. I'm not going to be the bearer of doom and cause upset, I expect they have had plenty of that already from other guests - but I won't be booking any accommodation either.

It's the international travel that's going to be the sticking point. All the positive thinking in the world won't make countries open their borders or airlines start operating again. If it was in the UK - or whatever country most of the guests are in - she'd have a much better chance.

@KaptenKrusty It's not horrible, it is being realistic. Being a mature adult not wanting to live in a fantasy world. If you're going on a holiday then you're only really affecting yourself. But with a wedding, travelling affects everyone. Young, and elderly relatives. It isn't horrible to be a grown up and think of the affects on your guests and how they feel. A wedding is far more than a holiday is. Health, travel, loss of jobs, frailty, all of that is involved. So you can't really compare your positive thinking about your holiday, to a wedding where many, many more people than just yourself are affected.

If it is in July though most people have already likely booked their flights and accommodation - cancelling the wedding won’t help any of the guest get a refund on any of that - they will only get that if/when flights are cancelled (travel advice remains as is)

It’s probably not going to go ahead- but she’ll find that out soon enough without the op telling her!

@TealWater - I do understand for a lot of people, assuming the worse and wanting everyone to assume the worse helps, because then you are mentally prepared for it, and the only way things can be different is better than you have planned for. I assume you are one of those people.

Other people would rather hope for the best, then if it's worse than that, mentally deal with that at the time they have to deal with it. You really need to not get angry for that group, it's fine to leave it until there's actually a definate problem before you start worrying about it.

That said, it's really not unreasonable to presume in July, we won't have the same restrictions we have now. If the wedding can go ahead, and we can travel from the UK to the wedding destination, then refunds on flights are unlikely and the bride and groom will still have to pay for the wedding as booked. Some bits (like flowers or drinks) might be variable costs but the big costs, the meal, the venue booking, the legal costs, will need to be paid no matter if they cancel or not.

Given that, I would assume most people would still be preparing for the wedding to go ahead until it can't.

We had to postpone our end of June wedding. We were lucky that our suppliers agreed to a change of date next year (all booked now) and had a wedding insurance for any fees that did occur

No way will it be over . We’ll be lucky if it is by this time next year

I would very much doubt that it will be possible to have the wedding exactly as planned, with all those people flying in from all over. Gently mention the possibility of postponing maybe? But iiwy @mighthavefinallylostit if you don't intend to travel whether restrictions have been lifted or not, I think you should tell her sooner rather than later.

We are getting married in July 2021 and I'm not even confident about that date with everything that's in the news

It won’t happen. It’s even dubious that schools will go back in September

We moved ours from May to October to be on the safe side. If it was a U.K. wedding I’d be more optimistic for your friend. But a destination wedding? Nope.

My friends wedding is in august she’s just mentioned she wants to push all events back to 2021. My friend who gets married December moved hers to next year weeks ago

YANBU, OP. I was meant to be getting married the last weekend of September (partly to help with the process of parental rights and for that of adopting my fiancé’s son from another relationship) and like your friend I was trying to remain positive but eventually I had to see the light and postpone the event. The banns of marriage fee and deposit for the church have been paid for so that the church is secured for when rebooking happens. When the coronavirus outbreak dies down my fiancé and I will look into rebooking the wedding.

That said I wouldn’t be the one to tell her, you should let her find out for herself.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52328756
Britons warned about summer holiday plans

I agree with Teawater. I feel very sorry for couples having to cancel their day, one that they’d been looking forward to and planning for ages. But I think it’s silly to hang onto plans in the hope of being able to go ahead. It’s stressful for guests. Most would be hoping they don’t have to go so soon after lockdown being lifted but would also be feeling guilty about letting the bride and groom down. People probably need to cancel accommodation sooner rather than later too. Plus if they want to have the wedding later in the year it would be better to do that sooner rather than later, everyone will be rebooking.

My brother is due to get married in the UK in November and they are doubtful that it will go ahead as planned.

The FCO have advised against non essential travel indefinitely. This helps in a way though as it should make any insurance claims a bit easier.

I’m suppose to be the sole bridesmaid at my friend’s small wedding in the beginning of July. Thankfully, she’s been really realistic about what may happen and says she fully understands if I can’t or don’t feel comfortable coming. At this point, BA hasn’t cancelled my flight so (although I’m pretty certain I won’t be going) we’ve decided to leave it as is for now. The airline might make the decision for me, but there’s no reason to try to cancel my non-refundable ticket right now.

She should book the registry office.

@Geepipe no she doesn't?

Suppliers are booked many months ahead for absolutely everything? She most certainly does not have lots of time.

My best friends wedding is booked for October and we're desperately hoping we will be ok for then but July? No.

July is a long time from now. No one knows what will happen between now and then. Maybe she will be able to have some version of her dream wedding. Our maybe she will realise that having everyone she loves alive for it is actually her dream wedding. Whatever happens, don't be the killjoy who tells her now that it isn't going to happen. Just say you hope it will all be over by then too.

It’s such a tricky situation! We rescheduled our September 2020 wedding weeks ago... now we’re looking forward to our new August 2021 date

July no esp travelling

Our wedding was end of next month. Venue shut so cancelled

Waiting for venue to open and new date

Will have to be a week day wedding as all fri and sat booked up for next 2yrs roughly

But I’m fine with that. Obv some people might not be able to go but that’s life