To expect DH not to play computer games whilst I'm working

[bowbowceo]

Just to give you some background.

DH is self employed and aside from his line of work all but shutting down due to COVID, he's also classed as vulnerable due to pre existing health issues so has been advised by consultant not to work. I am fully supportive of this and want him to be healthy, whatever the financial hit will be.

On the other hand I am employed at a senior level and am able to work from home and have been doing so on a full time basis since lockdown came into play.

DH in the morning will make me my morning cuppa, walk the dogs, tidy the house and then mooch around a bit. No problem with this whatsoever and I believe he's making the best of a difficult situation. However he has in the last few days started gaming online with some of his friends which impacts on the WiFi I'm using for work. Often it causes me to be cut off mid way during Skype calls and today it was the final straw when I was cut off from a call with my manager and team 3 times within an hour. I explained to DH that this was happening and asked him to come offline and he protested that it wasn't his gaming impacting on my WiFi (even though his game was working fine!) and kept making excuses not to come off the game. Eventually I put my foot down and demanded he stopped playing because my work is important and I needed to finish the call I was on. He stropped making a comment about having to go and stare at a wall instead!

I get this is a very first world problem but I saw a real childish side to him today and it's making me really question a lot about him and the value he places on my job. He is a very hard worker and I know is finding this adjustment tough.

For context I work at a senior level in the public sector and not something he has an awful lot to do with in the work that he does.

Rant over! Am I alone in this type of situation?

Don't use Skype - try Microsoft Teams, it is MUCH more stable. Our company was having a terrible time on Skype for Business, people dropping out and sounding like Daleks. It was nothing to do with individual's internet connections.

Use www.broadbandspeedchecker.co.uk/ or similar to measure your speed, both when he's on his games and when he's not.

Also if you're routing your traffic through a work VPN, that is highly likely to be the bottleneck.

Even Virgin's slowest speeds are more than capable of handling a 4K video, games console and Skype call at the same time.

Are you able to get a booster for your router? Both me and my DP are wfh with usually Netflix running in the background and invariably one or both of us looking at our phones. Do you need to video into the calls?using voice only might be better

Daenerys 77, I agree why can't he read a book, lockdown is the perfect time to get into reading

Can you plug your computer directly into the router? You might need to order the cable for it if your router didn't come with a spare one. It speeds it up big time. Then it will be your DH computer that gets the slow connection

Of course your work takes priority over his playing games. He can play when you're finished for the day. Or he can research and set up an improved Internet provider. That said it might well not help. My Internet is usually great but with everyone in the area using it all day at the moment it's very patchy. He could always buy a mobile Internet package so it wouldn't be competing with your connection.

Just to say, your router probably came with a cable even a short one. Do the broadband speed test at your desk, then sitting next to the router on wifi, then plugged in to the router, and you should see the variation.
If your DH has got nothing to do you should set him to work installing some cabling!

As many others have suggested, but I will add, get an ethernet cable. They are cheap. Your problem is most likely nothing to do with his gaming, and everything to do with your distance from the router. My DH is currently wfh, from our bedroom, so we have a 20m ethernet cable running up the stairs and down the landing to our room. We have wifi extenders but the wifi is still appalling due to the distance and no way strong enough for work. But plugged into the router via ethernet cable it's no problem at all.

You need to try the test a pp has suggested. Try a speed test next to the router over wifi, then again from the room you normally work in, again over wifi. Then a third when connected via ethernet. See the difference. The ethernet cable should be fastest, and with fibre you should have enough bandwidth to stream far more than you and your DH are using.

I assume he's using wifi for gaming?

DS uses a cable and I use wifi for work. It works well and he gets a lot less lag, which is very important for gaming.
Win win.

I second Zoom too. It's what my work is using. DS's school is with Google teams, but I haven't assessed it yet.

Agree with the previous poster. It's worth making a note on speed at different times of the day. Make sure you include any phones that may be connected to the Wi-Fi. Maybe also change the wifi password in case a neighbour is using It?

No one should be using Zoom for business purposes. It's banned by the well known organisation I work for, and for good reason.

Microsoft teams is fine, unfortunately we don't have access to that yet pending a systems upgrade. However we don't have much call for video conferencing; we do audio calls via central conference call nos from our work mobiles and screen share (when necessary) via Skype.

There are up to 4 of us using the internet at any one time accessing VPNs, gaming, general interest use, streaming etc and I never have any issues with the connection, the difference for us is that those gaming are doing so from an ethernet connection.

Why is Zoom banned?

Google 'zoom vulnerabilities'.

I have this. Our WiFi is poor. No way to make it better. I had both ds's on x box. Then Ds2 was on a house party. It kills it. I had to ask them to stop.

All these suggestions of 'get better WiFi' sound easy, but my Dh says ours is the best it can be already!

The world and their dog are at home atm, due to Corona. People working, In conference calls, all teenagers playing Xbox etc, everybody is at home, everybody is using Wi-Fi.

so are we expecting it to be any good at the moment? all the suggestions of getting better Wi-Fi? I just don't know. what that actually means?

YABU. I'm the one working from home and I wouldn't dream of telling anyone else in the house to stop gaming/watching Netflix/whatever. I tether from my work phone if I need to.

We have started using Microsoft Teams instead of Skype. Its massively increased my connection problems. It doesn't cut out as often when I'm on Skype so if the organisation want to use Teams then they will need to pay for the data.

Not everyone has a work phone Hunter

The OP's work has to take precedence

It's not that bad.

But we should be careful.

www.zdnet.com/google-amp/article/make-sure-your-zoom-meetings-are-safe-by-doing-these-10-things/

I'd assume the OP isn't senior then Ginfordinner

My (essential) role doesn't take precedence over the rest of the household in this situation

Me, DH and the kids all use Internet at the same time and it works well. Problem is your Internet.

I'm not senior either Hunter, but of course my work takes precedence over DD watching Netflix. Although, I would agree that her watching online lectures is as important, if not more important.

@Batshittery
He's quite entitled to do some gaming imo, esp after he's done the chores. It's not all about you. it sounds as though your wifi is crap.

Given she's the only one earning money and keeping them fed and housed, he's being a shit moaning about it. He could game all day if it covered the mortgage and bills!

@wedding2020
How often are you on calls? We’re in a similar position, my DP is working from home and I’m a teacher currently on Easter holidays. He just asks me to pause Netflix when he has a call and I stare at the ceiling for an hour while he’s on the call as there’s nothing else to do

Really? You have nothing else at all to do if Netflix isn't available?!

I think he needs to grow up and realise that your job is more important than his gaming, which anyone over 12 should realise. However plugging yourself into wired internet may help the situation

Hello Wine. Yes, I conceded the point within an hour of the original post - days ago.