To expect DH not to play computer games whilst I'm working

[bowbowceo]

Just to give you some background.

DH is self employed and aside from his line of work all but shutting down due to COVID, he's also classed as vulnerable due to pre existing health issues so has been advised by consultant not to work. I am fully supportive of this and want him to be healthy, whatever the financial hit will be.

On the other hand I am employed at a senior level and am able to work from home and have been doing so on a full time basis since lockdown came into play.

DH in the morning will make me my morning cuppa, walk the dogs, tidy the house and then mooch around a bit. No problem with this whatsoever and I believe he's making the best of a difficult situation. However he has in the last few days started gaming online with some of his friends which impacts on the WiFi I'm using for work. Often it causes me to be cut off mid way during Skype calls and today it was the final straw when I was cut off from a call with my manager and team 3 times within an hour. I explained to DH that this was happening and asked him to come offline and he protested that it wasn't his gaming impacting on my WiFi (even though his game was working fine!) and kept making excuses not to come off the game. Eventually I put my foot down and demanded he stopped playing because my work is important and I needed to finish the call I was on. He stropped making a comment about having to go and stare at a wall instead!

I get this is a very first world problem but I saw a real childish side to him today and it's making me really question a lot about him and the value he places on my job. He is a very hard worker and I know is finding this adjustment tough.

For context I work at a senior level in the public sector and not something he has an awful lot to do with in the work that he does.

Rant over! Am I alone in this type of situation?

You can't upgrade right now (I work in the industry)

He is in the room above where the router is, I'm on the other side of the house. Reaching issues could be a contributing factor I do accept.

Jesus you need a booster or better WiFi, the guy has nothing to do and wants to play video games, he should be able to. For context, I'm a Civil Servant working from home right now using MS Teams for video calls multiple times a day, our WiFi is:

• Supporting my work laptop
• My Phone
• My Nintendo switch
• My Husbands Mac with editing software constantly running
• Husbands Phone
• Husbands switch
• iPads x 2
• Spare phone for DS
• DS's switch
• 3 echo dots

We've got plusnet for £27 a month, it's nothing fancy but it's just high speed, check if you can upgrade your package

@gindrinker good idea I may do that- if only to prove his theory that his game barely uses any data wrong!!!!

@bowbowceo it’s well worth it! I run my sons PS4 off my phone as it’s unlimited and doesn’t lag either, saves everyone arguing.

"Grown men playing video games during the day is pretty unattractive"

Surprised it took two pages for this shit to start. And what does "during the day" have anything to do with it? He might think someone sitting on her arse on MN all day is unattractive (and I'm not referring to the OP here).

Have you tried plugging your pc into the ethanet cable. I just asked dh for a work round as he's a big pc gamer and until I was furloughed was on his pc playing games while ds napped and I was on the office pc working.
He said the gaming pc is plugged into the ethanet to prevent lag and either way would work for you.

I have Virgin and the WiFi has been shit.
Can you use an Ethernet cable?
I managed to buy three (don’t know how)
And then the broadband picked up.
Sod’s law, but I have them if the WiFi plays up again.
Having said that, I don’t play games- but I think they are heavy on the giga front

Cross posted

Work takes priority but his gaming will be making bugger all difference. If you have virgin fibre then it’ll be more than enough.

If he has done stuff like housework, gardening etc then why shouldn’t he play a game? Would you be saying the same if he was reading a book?

Great minds @Mythologies

Get your work to pay for a WiFi upgrade.

If his game was still working then it wasnt the cause of the wifi going off. We have a problem with our wifi it cuts out every half an hour or so and i can hear my kids shouting because theyve been disconnected from their game

Get a TP link. It is likely a combination of router not reaching far enough and his console taking all the bandwidth. We have to have a TP link as our virgin signal won't reach to the end of the house. Without it my net drops constantly if my DH games.

I will say virgin have been awful last few days, internet constantly dropping here. Seems to be an area thing though.

Whether the op has poor broadband is irrelevant. Someone doing something essential like work obviously takes priority over a sodding game.

It's very relevant, if her not being able to work has got fuck-all to do with his gaming.

I agree it’s not his game that was causing Skype to freeze and drop. Your WiFi is sufficient to handle the data. As well as what others have noted.
It could honestly be Skype itself. I regularly do five-way Skypes with family members and every time we lose a person or they freeze or the audio cuts out.
Yes, work is more important than games, but I think YABU slightly to assume it was his game and then refuse to consider it might be something else when he told you it wasn’t his game.

He is in the room above where the router is, I'm on the other side of the house.

If he's in the same room as the router, ask him to use an ethernet cable instead of wifi. That may help you, if wifi is really the problem.

(I assume cable is an option, DW has a new laptop funded by work for the lockdown, and it's the first time I've seen one that doesn't have an an ethernet port. I assume games console still have them, given performance is a priority.)

I use Skype and WebEx for work both have been shite, shaky and unreliable. I think their servers are struggling with everyone suddenly working from home all the time.

Agree with pp that no video is easier on the bandwidth/ may be easier for the shaky services?

I think it's up to him to sort but if it were here, where I'm working FT and 3 not I would be working all together to try and sort it out as no broadband all day for anyone else would be a bit shit tbh.

If you have been fine with other meeting apps then it does point to Skype being shaky though, like I say we've had trouble and other companies have as well.

We’ve got 200mb speed on Virgin broadband and it cannot handle 2 of us wfh and kids using the internet too.

Whether the op has poor broadband is irrelevant. Someone doing something essential like work obviously takes priority over a sodding game.

Exactly. If he needs something to do, suggest he investigates a faster broadband option himself.

I didn't make clear, I'd be surprised if his gaming was causing the problem.

On a US forum I'm on there was someone in a similar situation who genuinely did have a problem with their family overloading the internet connection, but it was because they only had a 5Mbs upload speed. (They had cable internet, 100 down but only 5 up.)

If you can rearrange things so you're directly connected to the router - do it. It will make a big difference.

Can one of you have a wired connection rather than using the WiFi? We have, but the consoles and gaming PC are all plugged in. WiFi is for the laptop and tablet. I've not had any problems Skyping into team meetings.

Work takes precedence over gaming.

I would look into your WiFi and your configuration. I have my work laptop connected to our internet via cable instead of using the WiFi (this is easy because we had our house networked, but you can always run a cable through your rooms) It makes a huge difference in my connectivity, especially since for work I am going through a vpn that adds extra security which takes up bandwidth in both directions. We also had to install repeaters in the house so the WiFi signal is strong everywhere.

So your DH goes on a strop when you ask him not to game as it seems to be interfering with his gaming? Yes we can all go on about bandwith and updating your systems but the issue issue here is your DH wont stop when you ask him to as it appears its interefering with your work calls.Tell him that yes he can stare at the ceiling or walls when your on a call and stop being an arsehole We have one area of the house that gets bad wifi and it sounds like that is where you are. Swap it for his gaming area