Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this bath time situation acceptability?

238 replies

5footmama · 14/04/2020 12:16

You live in a bungalow.
The bathroom is off the main hall.
Opposite the living room.

You have a just turned 6 year old and a 2yr5month old in the bath, playing and washing.

You are in the living room.

Both doors are open.

AIBU to think this is not acceptable?

OP posts:
KittenVsBox · 14/04/2020 12:53

Absolutely no way with the toddler - either with a sibling or alone.
About 4y I think I started pottering around while he was in the bath - and he could swim a width (10m, totally out of his depth) at that point.

Brefugee · 14/04/2020 12:55

@5footmama you're mum is out of order Shock

Booboostwo · 14/04/2020 12:55

Absolutely unacceptable. The adult needs to be in the same room and I'd go as far as to say they need to have eyes on the younger child at all time. What you describe is only acceptable for older children who have also learnt how to swim and can be relied upon not to mess around - so quite a lot of qualifications there.

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/04/2020 12:55

No. A 6 year old will not recognise that the younger one is in trouble until it's too late.

Thefaceofboe · 14/04/2020 12:55

@5footmama why have you posted asking for opinions if you’re just arguing you’re right anyway?

SilkCottonTree · 14/04/2020 12:57

No way would I be leaving a 6 year old in charge of a 2 year old. And I wouldn't leave a 2 year old unattended in the bath in any circumstances.

bloodywhitecat · 14/04/2020 12:59

No. I had a friend who did this and came back two minutes later to find the two year old face down in the water and the older child completely oblivious to the situation. Far too much responsibility for a young child, a six year old in the bath alone? Fine. A two year old without adult supervision? Not fine.

oldtownroad · 14/04/2020 12:59

We have the same set up, I'd say sitting in the other room watching tv or on your phone not acceptable. Pottering about tidying up or grabbing something from another room fine as you are constantly checking on them and aren't going to get distracted as you say. This is what I do with my 4 year old, have done since he was 2ish.

Tulipstulips · 14/04/2020 13:02

Six year old - yes, no problem. We have a 5.5 year old and have been leaving him alone in the bath while we potter upstairs for a while now. I wouldn’t leave a 2.5 year old alone in the bath, and I definitely wouldn’t leave a 6 year old in the bath with them.

Greenmarmalade · 14/04/2020 13:03

Unsafe, YANBU.

If you’re out of the bathroom and you sense/see the child is under the water, it takes too long to get to them. If they’re ok, and conscious, you then have the worry of secondary drowning, and you’d need to take the child to hospital.

Consistentlytired · 14/04/2020 13:03

Absolutely no way, if you can not see them then you are not supervising.

Mummoomoocow · 14/04/2020 13:04

My 2y4m toddler likes to stand up when I leave the room to turn the bedroom night light on. I've heard him fall over and ran back in to find him in the water. You only need to take one breath of water to get pneumonia, you can drown very quickly as a younger child. If a bang to the head is involved then death could be even faster

blackteaplease · 14/04/2020 13:07

I wouldn't so this. Either child could slip over and the 2.5yo should be watched all the time. Drowning is quick and silent.

WhiffOfBath · 14/04/2020 13:10

I am absolutely not a fusspot, but there is no way I would ever have left any of mine unsupervised in or near water when they were two, OP. Not in any universe.

User12879923378 · 14/04/2020 13:10

I never understand why people leave kids in the bath unattended. When I think about the number of times I've just been in the comparatively safe sitting room with my toddler and taken my eye off her for two seconds to look for something and turned back to see her standing on top of her play kitchen or about to hurl herself off the back of a high chair - there's no way I'd leave her in the bath on her own. Two and a half year olds have way more mobility than common sense and it's not worth the risk, not even with an older child in there too.

WaxOnFeckOff · 14/04/2020 13:12

Too many variables. In some circumstances with some children it might be acceptable for short periods. I think if on phone/watching tv then no. if sensible DC and you are folding laundry or some other task that doesn't distract/adsorb you then fine if you can definitely hear two DC and can pop back within a few paces.

DailyKegelReminder · 14/04/2020 13:14

No I wouldn't. I have a 2 year old and She managed to go under very quickly once and I was in the room, the water wasnt that deep but she immediately panicked and just flapped. It was horrible and made me feel sick afterwards, I wouldn't trust a 6 year old to react quick enough either, too much can go wrong IMO.

Tattoocrazymum · 14/04/2020 13:14

I have a 2year 4 month old and wouldnt think of leaving him for even a minute, so many times he has almost slipped even with me sat next to the bath. Its completely irresponsible leaving a 2 year old in the bath alone or with a 6 year old

LEELULUMPKIN · 14/04/2020 13:18

No way.

Wolfff · 14/04/2020 13:19

PLEASE DON’T. When I was young we lived near a family of 3 kids who were similar in age to your eldest.

One drowned in the bath and the others just watched them do so, not realising what was going on.

It may just be a tiny chance but don’t risk it. It takes seconds to drown.

Levatrice · 14/04/2020 13:19

I wouldn’t do this with a 2 year old no

Amotherof6 · 14/04/2020 13:20

Oh dear.

Young children can drown in even shallow water. A 6 year old cannot supervise a 2 year old.

Imagine the guilt you would feel let alone the regret should something happen. You could never go back. The what if I .... so I would say is it really worth the risk?

Bubblewings · 14/04/2020 13:21

Absolutely no way - I’m thinking back to when my DS was 2 and it wouldn’t of occurred to me to leave him, if there was a 6 year old as well this wouldn’t make any difference. Actually even when he was 6 I didn’t leave him.

Bubblewings · 14/04/2020 13:23

...also I think some people on here have voted YABU without realising you’re saying it’s unacceptable.

MintyMabel · 14/04/2020 13:24

Just have your rant about whichever specific person has done this and be done with it.

I agree. I’d add that if I thought this was unreasonable and posed a risk and my mother was doing it, it wouldn’t matter a jot what MN thought. Clearly the OP thinks so too given her responses. So what’s the point of asking, just tell you mother she stops doing it or she doesn’t have the kids for bath time.