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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this bath time situation acceptability?

238 replies

5footmama · 14/04/2020 12:16

You live in a bungalow.
The bathroom is off the main hall.
Opposite the living room.

You have a just turned 6 year old and a 2yr5month old in the bath, playing and washing.

You are in the living room.

Both doors are open.

AIBU to think this is not acceptable?

OP posts:
Poppinjay · 14/04/2020 20:53

Honestly, I get that posters don’t like that my child was ok or that I took that risk.

I'm quite certain that every poster on here is very glad your child survived despite the ridiculous risk you took on a daily basis.

You can remain convinced that you were right, despite the fact that you were very lucky. However, you really should keep it to yourself because someone could decide that what you did really was OK, do it themselves and lose their child.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 20:56

There would have to be an extremely specific set of circumstances occur for my 2-year-old to be seriously harmed or worse within 20 seconds in a small 2-bed flat where I can hear them and talk to them at all times.

The youngest would have to silently drown within 20 seconds (that's if the drowning begins the very second I leave the room, otherwise it's obviously less), with my 6-year-old also not going silent but not mentioning that his/her brother's face is under the 15cm of water or saying anything unusual/making any strange noise that would cause me to rush back in.

Like, I know all those things CAN happen, and technically they COULD all happen at the same time to make for a tragic accident, but the chance of that is vanishingly small, which is why I compared it to a child falling and dying in a living room. Of course that COULD happen, but we don't live our entire lives as if 1-in-a-bazillion-trillion-chance freak events occur.

crispysausagerolls · 14/04/2020 21:06

Yes, I agree a child could slip under water in a slippy bath. Firstly I would have heard that happen, secondly the bath mat stopped that

I don’t know whether or not it’s hilarious or whether just shocking/sad that you genuinely think a non slip bath mat guarantees no slipping. Or that you would be guaranteed to hear your child fall.

But then you are someone who, for reasons that are unclear, thought your young child playing in water was an excellent time to go out of sight and do fucking ironing.

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/04/2020 21:13

Huh.
There are approximately 4 million children under the age of 5 in the U.K. every year 4 drown in their bath tub and 47 are hospitalised for near drowning.

So thats a 1 in a million chance your child will die. Oh, wait, that’s about the same risk as your under 5 dying of COVID based on current fatalities. I take it you ignore all safety instructions for COVID too then?

Ever play the Euromillions lottery? You only have a 1 in 140million chance of winning. Were you aware your child is 140x more likely to drown than you are to win the jackpot?

Still think an unnecessary and completely avoidable risk of 1 in a million is worth gambling your child’s life on?

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 21:13

think a non slip bath mat guarantees no slipping
Well mine does, I don’t know what sort of shit you spent your money on of course.

Or that you would be guaranteed to hear your child fall
Well yes I would, of course I wouldn’t if I was hard of hearing, but I’m not.

thought your young child playing in water was an excellent time to go out of sight and do fucking ironing
It was a great time to do it. Fucking ironing, I hate it as well, horrible isn’t it?

mamasiz · 14/04/2020 21:17

Not acceptable. Never, ever leave your child/ren unsupervised in water, anywhere.

crispysausagerolls · 14/04/2020 21:18

@exLtEveDallas

I would LOVE to know which company sells bath mats that GUARANTEES your baby can’t slip over on them. Rather than says “PREVENTS slips”.

Maybe you have a magic bath mat store I don’t know about, and I would really love to! Sounds like you have an infallible mat.

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 21:22

A child sitting on a rubber bath mat is not going to slip over. Her arse was almost as non-slip as the bath mat 😂😂😂

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 21:30

A child sitting on a rubber bath mat is not going to slip over. Her arse was almost as non-slip as the bath mat 😂😂😂

Of course you can guarantee the child will not stand up whilst unattended and not watched, children are totally predictable and if you say don't stand up, they just won't!

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 21:34

Yours might not have been, mine was 😂
(And if she had stood up, I’d have heard her do it, water isn’t silent 😉)

EmeraldShamrock · 14/04/2020 21:38

The force of the slip having wet feet on ceramic would have a greater impact than slipping in the living room. The child would still make normal splashing noises getting up on the edge.
My adult cousin died when he slipped in a club on a wet floor hitting his head off a toilet bowl. My bath is near enough to the bowl, then tiled floors, It isn't worth it.

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 21:40

Oh please @exLtEveDallas to say a 2 year old is guaranteed not to stand up is ridiculous! To say you would "hear her standing up", when she never stood up in the bath because she was totally predictable is even more ridiculous!

Please don't ever volunteer your parenting lessons.

Can you imagine it, "remember your child is totally predictable and you know them best, if you're sure they will stop at the edge of the road at age two, they don't hold their hand, if you're sure they won't play with matches then leave them out, if you're sure they won't stand in a bath then leave them alone".

Come on it's madness to say you could trust your two year old to not stand up in the bath, as I said luck rather than judgement.

crispysausagerolls · 14/04/2020 21:43

Im still waiting to hear what bath mat guarantees no slipping - I want to know why I have “wasted my money” on “shit” which doesn’t, when something out there does!

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 21:43

Please don't ever volunteer your parenting lessons
Why would I do that when I am talking about my own child? Unless all children are exactly the same - are they?

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 21:44

Im still waiting to hear what bath mat guarantees no slipping
The one I was using. HTH Smile

EmeraldShamrock · 14/04/2020 21:46

@exLtEveDallas As it worked out well with your DC would you advise all parents this is safe to do with a toddler? I doubt it as you know that's silly considering all DC are different. As I said my DD rarely moved would happily sit easy to play, DS never. So no I don't think it is a good idea to be so blaise like it is fine to do.

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 21:46

Why would I do that when I am talking about my own child? Unless all children are exactly the same - are they?

EVERY SINGLE TWO YEAR OLD IS UNPREDICTABLE, THAT IS ALL THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

What about my other points that you've missed, do you suggest not hold a two year olds hand near a bust road, "because they've never run in the road before"?

Jeez @exLtEveDallas realise you were lucky, stop advising that parents can "tell" that their child would never stand up, drown, turn the hot tap on whilst their parent was ironing,

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 21:47

*busy

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 21:53

As it worked out well with your DC would you advise all parents this is safe to do with a toddler?

Absolutely not. And nowhere have I.
I wouldn’t give advice on someone else’s child because I don’t know that person or that child (or the size of their bathroom 😂)

Nowhere have I said that and nowhere have I advised. In fact, when answering the OP I even said In the OPs scenario it would depend on how sensible the 6 year old was

People just aren’t happy that I assessed the risk and made my own decision. Which is what all parents should do in potentially risky scenarios.

Doobababarah · 14/04/2020 21:55

Shit, lazy parenting.

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 21:57

Shit, lazy parenting.

But the child has crease free clothes!

crispysausagerolls · 14/04/2020 22:01

But the child has crease free clothes!

😂😂😂

And a uniquely 100% safe bathmat that, If he still has, he could probably sell for millions 😁

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 22:09

Nah, didn’t iron DDs clothes, just my uniform. Given a choice I wouldn’t have ironed anything. Fucking ironing.

Smidge001 · 14/04/2020 22:36

@PlanDeRaccordement stop saying it's not physically possible! Some people have very small rooms. Whether or not that poster did is not my point. My point is that it totally IS possible to be in a separate room 2ft away from the bath. Some rooms are small! Some bathrooms don't have toilets in them. My grandparents had that in their house - the loo was in a separate room from the bath. It is perfectly possible to be two feet away and in a separate room. (apart from the fact she amended her estimate to be two strides rather than 2 ft anyway).

Also, in relation to a separate post you made, yes I absolutely would take a 1 in a million risk with my child. Happily. And I don't play the lottery because my chances of winning are just as minute. But I'm a mathematician and very matter of fact, and am willing to take what I consider to be acceptable risks. Also why I don't worry about locking my front door or having a burglar alarm. I guess we are just different people with different ideas of what is acceptable and what isn't.
It really isn't up to you to judge.

WonderWebbs · 14/04/2020 22:53

Absolutely not. Why would you put the responsibility on a 6 year old?