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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this bath time situation acceptability?

238 replies

5footmama · 14/04/2020 12:16

You live in a bungalow.
The bathroom is off the main hall.
Opposite the living room.

You have a just turned 6 year old and a 2yr5month old in the bath, playing and washing.

You are in the living room.

Both doors are open.

AIBU to think this is not acceptable?

OP posts:
ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 17:37

I totally agree with you. Yes a child could have an accident anywhere but that's no excuse to heighten the chances!!??!! The mind absolutely boggles at some people's rationale

I guess you must have misunderstood my post. I'm saying that we all make little risk assessments every day and even though leaving a child alone at any time in any place could potentially result in harm, I assume we all do it occasionally when we judge the risk small enough. Nobody stays beside above a certain age 24/7, after all. So you may think that leaving them watching tv while you fetch a cup of squash is ok, but leaving them in the bath while you fetch a towel is not.

formerbabe · 14/04/2020 17:54

Eh? Who's talking about a swimming pool? My children could have a fatal accident in my living room, or in the bath. Sometimes I leave them momentarily in both those situations because in both situations the risk is tiny

It's an example to illustrate that there are different risk levels in different scenarios.

A child could have an accident and die in a living room.

A child could wander across a motorway and survive.

However, the risk in the latter scenario is greater. It's called RISK assessment and there's a reason schools, nurseries, childminders etc have to carry them out routinely.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:02

It's an example to illustrate that there are different risk levels in different scenarios

Of course. So basically, in a roundabout way you were disagreeing with what I said? Which was that for me, leaving a 6 and 2 year old in the bath for 30 seconds is a similar risk to leaving them in the living room or garden for a similar amount of time.

formerbabe · 14/04/2020 18:16

Which was that for me, leaving a 6 and 2 year old in the bath for 30 seconds is a similar risk to leaving them in the living room

It's not a similar risk.

strawberry2017 · 14/04/2020 18:18

I wouldn't leave my 2.5 year old. I'm not prepared to take the risk she needs supervision

TiddlestheCat · 14/04/2020 18:19

Fine if you're listening out for them for a few minutes if the six year old also knows what to do, but you could also risk getting distracted. I clean the bathroom when my kids are in the bath. It's just easier and less stressful.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:20

It's not a similar risk

Well, it's likely subjective. In my opinion the risk is almost zero (otherwise I'd never do it, obviously).

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:30

@ICantBelieveInYou if you think the risk is almost zero I suggest you talk to your GP or health visitor. Maybe they can inform you better than us. Or just check what the NHS website has to say about leaving a child unattended in the bath. You think the risk of leaving a 2 year old IN water is the same as leaving them to watch T. V in a living room for 2 minutes? This really concerns me. I'm certain your GP and HV will have dealt with people with similar mind sets - thinking the worst won't happen to them, and then having to deal with the awful consequences. How can you not see how the risk is much greater?

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 18:31

I used to leave DD in the bath on her own from age 2 whilst I was ironing in the next room. I could hear her all the time and I never worried about her. She was fine.

I wouldn’t have left her if I was engrossed in a TV show or on my phone/reading. My confidence was in part due to the silence being broken by her actions/chatter.

In the OPs scenario it would depend on how sensible the 6 year old was.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:32

You think the risk of leaving a 2 year old IN water is the same as leaving them to watch T. V in a living room for 2 minutes? This really concerns me

Where did I say 2 minutes?

crispysausagerolls · 14/04/2020 18:33

What the fuck is wrong with people who would do this?! I agree with a PP - you really can’t just sit with your children in the bath and watch them? Your mother is presumably bathing them infrequently so I especially don’t get it. That’s what having children is. Obviously a young child is at risk of drowning, and another young child is not going to be responsible for that. It’s the same reason I wouldn’t leave two young children in the room with a fire. Why would I?

crispysausagerolls · 14/04/2020 18:34

I used to leave DD in the bath on her own from age 2 whilst I was ironing in the next room

This is bananas.

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:35

Well how long do you think is acceptable to leave them? Like I say, ask you GP or HV. You will be told the advice is not to. Just the fact you think even 20 seconds is OK is alarming.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:39

Just the fact you think even 20 seconds is OK is alarming

Why? What do you think could happen in 20 seconds? And what are the chances of that happening? One in a million? One in a trillion? One in 100 trillion?

Before you say "but why take any chance at all?", I would point out that a similarly tiny chance exists whenever you leave your child anywhere for 20 seconds. Yet you still do it sometimes. Because the chance is so tiny that it would be silly not to.

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 18:40

I used to leave DD in the bath on her own from age 2 whilst I was ironing in the next room. I could hear her all the time and I never worried about her. She was fine.

She was fine through luck rather than judgement! Not something I would've considered personally!

cheeseychovolate · 14/04/2020 18:42

No, 2 year old too young to be left and if something were to happen to two year old that would be awful for the six year old to witness

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:43

This reply has been deleted

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Beautiful3 · 14/04/2020 18:45

No. You have to sit in the bathroom with them to ensure their safety.

myfav · 14/04/2020 18:47

I wouldn't and do not do it. There was a similar thread recently, high percentage of people do leave young children unsupervised. I do think a 6 year old can be left whilst a towel is got for them or that type of task.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:47

BaroleCaskin

Ok, so similarly, what COULD happen to a 6 year old alone for 20 seconds in the living room while you get them a drink? Then tell me you've never ever done it.

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:49

My six year old would not be sat in a tub of water. You clearly don't understand risk assessment, at all. TALK TO YOUR GP.

formerbabe · 14/04/2020 18:49

Ok, so similarly, what COULD happen to a 6 year old alone for 20 seconds in the living room while you get them a drink? Then tell me you've never ever done it

It's absolutely baffling and really quite worrying that you cannot see that leaving young children alone in a bath is more dangerous than leaving them alone in a living room.

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:50

Because they certainly won't drown in ther living room 😂😂

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:51

Exactly @formerbabe. I think this poster seriously needs to get some professional advice on child rearing.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:51

It's absolutely baffling and really quite worrying that you cannot see that leaving young children alone in a bath is more dangerous than leaving them alone in a living room.

Under the circumstances we're talking about, the difference is basically insignificant because the risk is pretty much zero. It's "baffling" that you can't understand that. And that this other poster is bleating on about asking my GP or HV for some reason.